Neither of those things, weakness or complacency, are true for me today though.
In the past several years, I’ve been really leaning into the practice of self-care, with the help of fabulous role models like Neghar Fonooni, and using that self-care as a tool for leveling up and doing more meaningful work in my life.
This is quite the opposite of how I always imagined self-care to be. I always imagined self-care to be a way of becoming lazy, complacent, and basically, a sure-fire method way to completely lose momentum. Of course, the recovering perfectionist side of me, also believed that ‘resting on my laurels’ was a bad look for anyone watching me try to achieve.
Sure, there’s actually many ways to practice self-care, and not all need to be about inviting ease and slowing down through things like journaling, meditation, yoga, baths, sleep or a massage.
Sometimes, in fact, the type of self-care we really need is to force ourselves to crush that WOD that’s making our heart skip a beat so we can prove to ourselves how damn capable we are.
Today, though, I’m leaning into inviting serious ease as a way to become more focused and productive with my work.
With a business, two kids and a husband that travels at times, my self-care game needs to be on point if I want to have the clarity of mind to create, write and introspect for my business on a regular basis.
At times in the past few months, I’ve felt frantic sitting down to work thinking, ”AH, THERE'S SO MUCH TO DOOOOOOOO!”. Sometimes that results in a buzzing of positive energy, other times it's more of an energy drain. My intuition always knows (if I'm listening).
If you’ve ever waited tables you know what being “in the weeds” is all about. Busing tables, putting in orders, having polite conversation with new patrons then running to the kitchen to answer your buzzer because another table's food is up, rushing to the computer to put in new orders, delivering drinks for 3 tables at a time, etc. It’s this frantic multi-tasking and “doing” that feels quite amazing (or terrifying at the time). But, at the end of the shift, you crash and crash hard, don’t you?
Like our metabolism, when we push up against our intuition again and again, it will fight back until we listen. This morning, with my kids playing at my feet, breakfast burning on the stove, and thoughts racing through my head of how to do 5 different tasks by only walking across the room 2 times (c'mon efficiency!), I stopped myself dead in my tracks.
"Too much, Jess".
Here's what happened when I listened:
- I went to my calendar, canceled my own workout for the day which is typically on the calendar for after my mid-morning group coaching session.
- I sat with my kids and played for 20 uninterrupted minutes and we made the biggest, baddest super-hero parking lot of matchbox cars that ever existed.
- When the kids left for the day, I took the longest uninterrupted shower (without kids on the other side of the shower door, pouring out my hundred dollar cosmetics).
- I put on makeup, blowdried my hair and put on real adult clothes (sorry, leggings) and headed for the polls to cast my vote.
- I meditated using my favorite Rainbow Relaxation with Marie Mongan.
- I played on social media (just played, not worked) while I ate an amazing salad from Whole Foods.
- Then, I spent the rest of my work day crushing projects, feeling more tune with my vision than I have been in a while.
I'm sure glad I finally listened this morning.
And, guess what's there for me when I'm ready tomorrow morning? My workout. ;)