There's one thing I know for sure, having worked with many Moms on their fitness and health goals: we already know, from parenting, one of the biggest lessons we could be applying to our mindset around our health.
This won't last forever.
In a slump and feeling like you can't get your groove back with your fitness? Having a hard time finding inspiration to move? Feeling disconnected from your body?
Could we chalk it up to this being just a phase? Something that doesn't need to be fixed through something super specific right now?
I don't think we relax into the "it's just a phase" mindset as moms until we've spent countless nights searching the internet for answers to our child-rearing issues only to recognize that many of our issues actually work themselves out naturally.
A story from my early days as a mom:
I can remember calling La Leche League FREAKING OUT about my oldest when he was only 2-3 weeks old. I had dressed him and wrapped him in our Moby Wrap so I could walk down to the local new moms brunch I had signed up for (and was delighted to attend so I could have some much needed adult interaction). I had planned Ben's feedings so perfectly that morning, or so I thought, so that we were all good walking out the door. It was then that he decided he should eat again.
We were actually quite fortunate that breastfeeding was a smooth process for us but that sneaky perfectionist in me worried that he was eating too often. I worried, "But, I've read by this age he should be going every 2-2 1/2 hours between feedings, we're more like 1-1 1/2 hours!". I was spending what felt like all my waking hours nursing and it was my evaluation that our situation needed fixing (insert eye roll but, also insert so much compassion for new moms who get caught up in things needing to be perfect).
I can't quite remember the advice I received on that call but it wasn't even really that important to the story. What I soon came to know as a Mom was, everything is less significant than it actually feels at the time. While yes, we read the signs and advocate for our kids and get the assistance we need but most of it doesn't need hours of blueprinting, it actually works out in it's natural course of time.
Another quick story:
My youngest (almost 4) has had A DAY today. Within 15 minutes of heading to the car for pre-school, he requested to play at the sink in the water to which I explained was probably not a good idea. He literally melted to the floor in the most epic of 3 year old tantrums, to the point where I really had a hard time not erupting in laughter because of the theatrics. This tantrum lasted for the next 20 minutes and ended in his teachers literally ripping him from my body as he started his school day. The theatrics continued after school, through lunch and up until nap time. I nearly snapped. In the heat of the moment, my thoughts went to how epically frustrating this is, how my day has become less productive because of it and to designating what I need to do to ensure this doesn't ever happen again.
As someone who appreciates structure, systems and processes, I wanted to name the problem and build a course of action to fix it. When we do this, though, we are operating from a place of feeling like we're doing something wrong, which is quite shame-filled place to be.
"Why does my kid have epic tantrums?!". Um, newsflash, Jess: all kids do.
What if it's just having a bad day? Isn't he allowed these?
At that thought, my jaw became unclenched, my resistance softened and I gave him a hug and told him I love him and that he'll feel better after a rest. See, this isn't "a thing" if I don't make it a thing. This kid is just having a tough day.
Aren't we allowed to have a day, a week or a month, where we just don't want to workout?
Does even a 2-week hiatus from the gym really need to be something that needs epic intervention? What if we're still a fit person who generally likes to exercise but we're just going through a phase? A phase where we'll get the inspiration to go back when we're ready?
I wonder how much pressure we could take off our shoulders if we relaxed into the fact that WE ALL, whether we talk about it or not, have slumps where our workouts aren't really all that wonderful and inspired. Could we give ourselves over to those ebbs and flows more naturally and try not to label these slumps?
A friend of mine recently moved to a new city with her family and has been feeling like she's trying to find her footing again with her fitness. As a coach, she felt uneasy with the fact that her training was up in the air and not feeling all that inspired. What did she do? She let that discomfort breathe. She reminded herself there's time and that her worth isn't connected to her ability to crush it in the gym every single day. When she was ready, she picked up a new active hobby and then felt inspired again to hire her own coach and start a new strength program. Boom! It was just a phase. A phase, in fact, that helped her find a new hobby that's bringing her a lot of joy, too!
The more and more I coach living in the middle, the mindset that keeps us from the extremes of the fitness and diet yo-yo cycle, the more I recognize that we all are just working to navigate moderation and teach ourselves that a healthy lifestyle doesn't have to look a certain way or even look the same all the time.
Relax, it's just a phase. :)
Could we chalk it up to this being just a phase? Something that doesn't need to be fixed through something super specific right now?
I don't think we relax into the "it's just a phase" mindset as moms until we've spent countless nights searching the internet for answers to our child-rearing issues only to recognize that many of our issues actually work themselves out naturally.
A story from my early days as a mom:
I can remember calling La Leche League FREAKING OUT about my oldest when he was only 2-3 weeks old. I had dressed him and wrapped him in our Moby Wrap so I could walk down to the local new moms brunch I had signed up for (and was delighted to attend so I could have some much needed adult interaction). I had planned Ben's feedings so perfectly that morning, or so I thought, so that we were all good walking out the door. It was then that he decided he should eat again.
We were actually quite fortunate that breastfeeding was a smooth process for us but that sneaky perfectionist in me worried that he was eating too often. I worried, "But, I've read by this age he should be going every 2-2 1/2 hours between feedings, we're more like 1-1 1/2 hours!". I was spending what felt like all my waking hours nursing and it was my evaluation that our situation needed fixing (insert eye roll but, also insert so much compassion for new moms who get caught up in things needing to be perfect).
I can't quite remember the advice I received on that call but it wasn't even really that important to the story. What I soon came to know as a Mom was, everything is less significant than it actually feels at the time. While yes, we read the signs and advocate for our kids and get the assistance we need but most of it doesn't need hours of blueprinting, it actually works out in it's natural course of time.
Another quick story:
My youngest (almost 4) has had A DAY today. Within 15 minutes of heading to the car for pre-school, he requested to play at the sink in the water to which I explained was probably not a good idea. He literally melted to the floor in the most epic of 3 year old tantrums, to the point where I really had a hard time not erupting in laughter because of the theatrics. This tantrum lasted for the next 20 minutes and ended in his teachers literally ripping him from my body as he started his school day. The theatrics continued after school, through lunch and up until nap time. I nearly snapped. In the heat of the moment, my thoughts went to how epically frustrating this is, how my day has become less productive because of it and to designating what I need to do to ensure this doesn't ever happen again.
As someone who appreciates structure, systems and processes, I wanted to name the problem and build a course of action to fix it. When we do this, though, we are operating from a place of feeling like we're doing something wrong, which is quite shame-filled place to be.
"Why does my kid have epic tantrums?!". Um, newsflash, Jess: all kids do.
What if it's just having a bad day? Isn't he allowed these?
At that thought, my jaw became unclenched, my resistance softened and I gave him a hug and told him I love him and that he'll feel better after a rest. See, this isn't "a thing" if I don't make it a thing. This kid is just having a tough day.
Aren't we allowed to have a day, a week or a month, where we just don't want to workout?
Does even a 2-week hiatus from the gym really need to be something that needs epic intervention? What if we're still a fit person who generally likes to exercise but we're just going through a phase? A phase where we'll get the inspiration to go back when we're ready?
I wonder how much pressure we could take off our shoulders if we relaxed into the fact that WE ALL, whether we talk about it or not, have slumps where our workouts aren't really all that wonderful and inspired. Could we give ourselves over to those ebbs and flows more naturally and try not to label these slumps?
A friend of mine recently moved to a new city with her family and has been feeling like she's trying to find her footing again with her fitness. As a coach, she felt uneasy with the fact that her training was up in the air and not feeling all that inspired. What did she do? She let that discomfort breathe. She reminded herself there's time and that her worth isn't connected to her ability to crush it in the gym every single day. When she was ready, she picked up a new active hobby and then felt inspired again to hire her own coach and start a new strength program. Boom! It was just a phase. A phase, in fact, that helped her find a new hobby that's bringing her a lot of joy, too!
The more and more I coach living in the middle, the mindset that keeps us from the extremes of the fitness and diet yo-yo cycle, the more I recognize that we all are just working to navigate moderation and teach ourselves that a healthy lifestyle doesn't have to look a certain way or even look the same all the time.
Relax, it's just a phase. :)
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