I walked away inspired to no end hearing all the things these women are accomplishing in their work and family lives. I mean, these women were grinding; getting involved in their kids schools, heading fundraisers and community initiatives, climbing up the corporate ladder, starting businesses, becoming caregivers for older family members, heading women's clubs....they were straight up CRUSHING IT. And all this was ON TOP OF their family responsibilities, you know feeding, clothing, cleaning up around and carpooling their broods around.
You know that saying “If you want something to get done, ask a Mom”? I understood this in a whole new way after talking with these women. It's easy for me to see what I'm doing or what my friends are accomplishing and take it for face value because it's something I see every day but hearing these stories? I was floating on air after talking with these women.
But, despite the seemingly endless reservoir of energy I heard in each of these women, when the conversation moved to their personal health goals…things slowed down quite a bit, in fact, at times, the conversation came to a screeching halt.
There were a lot of "shoulds", "coulds" and "I know betters". I feel for them because I too, understand this. When you're up late at night breastfeeding a ravenously hungry baby and you're woken up at 5:30am by the older kids and you're all of a sudden "on" for the day...the LAST thing you're thinking is "let's set aside five minutes for a gratitude practice".
As moms, our needs often come last. This is survival in many cases...because sometimes, the reservoir of energy is low and we've got to focus on the most pressing. But, this notion of our needs coming last is also bullshit. And, so is the notion that we need to take care of ourselves before we take care of others. You know, that whole "put your oxygen mask on first so you can help others" advice that you often get from well-meaning coaches and friends.
Mom, you deserve to take care of you because you're a human being that deserves your self-care. Through your nutrition, through your fitness, through your attention to your emotional well-being, to your connection with others, to your dedication to you....EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Not when the kids get older. Not when their in grade school. Not when everyone in the house is out of diapers. Not when the busy sports season ends. Not when. Now.
Stop putting YOU off. Don't start tomorrow, start NOW.
“I’ll start focusing on me when….”
“…the baby is done breastfeeding.’
“…he’s sleeping through the night and I finally feel like a human again.”
“…I get the promotion I’ve been going for.”
“…the kids can play quietly for a few minutes on their own.”
“…the kids are in grade school and I have a few hours of peace.”
“…we get homework middle school homework under control.”
“…the kids can be home alone for a bit while I go to the gym.”
“…I lose 15 pounds.”
“…she graduates from high school.”
“…she’s settled in college.”
What happens? Milestones are reached, new ones are set and if we’re not careful, we keep putting off what we really want because we’re always waiting for the perfect time to just start.
Do you see this pattern happening for you? How long have you been kicking the can down the road telling yourself that you'll start "when".
You're not alone. There's an army of moms and career women doing the same thing. It's normal but it's not ok. You deserve today, not tomorrow.
Our romanticized vision keeps us stuck.
When we're expecting our children, we imagine this little human coming along with us to family parties, riding along in our car to the grocery store, laying on our chest as we watch TV but not much prepares us for the total onslaught of how kids take over our lives if we're not careful to carve out the time we deserve.
Before mom was in our title, we also imagined our career in the same dream state. We saw ourselves like a montage during a movie when the career woman wakes up looking gorgeous, busts out a hour long spin class full of energy, kills it in her sales pitch that day (and of course, meets the hot guy at the bar after work). We didn't imagine the late nights eating dinner at the office, the strained relationship with our bosses, the budget cuts, the downsizing…that wasn't a part of the romanticized version in our minds.
Remember this....you are a rock star and you always rise to the occasion. Look at how far you’ve come, how you’ve grown, what you’ve accomplished.
If your dream is to become a healthier version of you, you’re ready. That dream matters right now. Self-care is an every day job and it’s just as important as caring advancing your career and taking care of others, if not more.
Stop putting off what you know will help you live a fuller life. Set a plan, get a coach, do the thing. You’re ready and worth it right now, no matter what else is on your plate.
If you're a mom…this is just for you! I’ve put together six super effective, fat-burning workouts for you to take to the playground when you’re with your kids. This free resource is yours to get consistent, carve out your time and start seeing results. Get yours here now.