Studies show that taking 20-30 minutes to eat your meal may help you eat less. While this may happen some days by chance (because I'm chasing around my boys between bites), eating slowly is not a common occurrence in our world with 2 and 4 year old boys. 

Parents, you know the drill, right?

When you get to a restaurant expecting to have nice, leisurely dinner with your family and from the first moment at the table you sense the unrest. The feet kicking against the base of the table, the clashing of the utensils on the floor, the grasping at anything in arm's reach. It's time's like those where I have to dig into my inner peace, calmly speak to my boy's about their behavior and SCARF DOWN MY MEAL ASAP while my husband pays the bill and brings the car around.

Experts say to put your fork down between bites to help you slow the amount of time it takes to finish your meal.

To engage your friends and family in conversations so as to lengthen the time it takes to finish your meal.

To chew each bite 32 times to effectively break down food and aid digestion.

Research shows that we end up consuming 10 percent fewer calories when we eat at a slow pace, chew each bite of food for longer and practice more mindful eating by lingering over our meals. 

{Record scratch}. Riiiiiiiiight.

I a'int got time for that.

Let me tell you, I struggle just to keep my meals myself. To not have to share every other bite of my Sunday breakfast, my dinner that I've sat down to eat after everything in the house is finally done, or a sip of my G-D-WATER!

What's mine is my kids, and though, yes, I work to create boundaries (i.e. "Mom's Water Bottle"), when we're on a hike or at the beach and their water is gone and they are "so thirsty they may die", I share my water and then again the boundaries are blurred, the kids forget and it's like open season to chug my drinks again. There are some days, even, where I make my rounds to straighten up the house once everyone is in bed and I find 3, maybe 4, water bottles (all FULL) distributed around the house above kid-climbing level. I hide them even from myself.

What I'm saying is, not every rule is going to work for your lifestyle. And, I don't believe you should kill yourself trying to fit your crazy, ruckus life into a tidy little box of someone else's rules.

Making a nutritious breakfast from scratch with whole foods every morning may sound wonderful in theory but if you're lucky enough to walk out the door with your wallet and your keys and the papers you needed for that important meeting at work, that's probably not going to work for you. Maybe you need a hack, a work-around that works for you, like grabbing a Quest bar on the go with a piece of fruit and a large water bottle (no kid's hands allowed).

Maybe working out in the morning sounds like a great idea - and yes, working out on an empty stomach first thing in the am could be wonderful for fat loss - but you mentally berate yourself every time you inevitably miss your wake-up call. Perhaps setting a more realistic date with the gym during your lunch break at work is more ideal for you and because it's doable, you'll be consistent with this, even if it's not perfect.

By all means, listen to the studies, read the advice, educate yourself. But, above all else, know thyself. Be fair with your expectations for your health journey.

​Someday, I may chew each bite 32 times. But, my kids will be in college and I'll be missing them like crazy. So, for now, I'll toe the line between forgetting entirely about my meal and getting it in my belly as fast as I can so I can enjoy every single bite without sharing.

For more of my musings on nutrition, fitness and self-care as Moms, sign up for my email newsletter here:

That being said: as a society, we do gather around food and the pot luck get-togethers can make for a sea of really temping "just this one bite" scenarios (that often become a slippery slope if we're being tempted by our triggers). 

For my private and community coaching gals, I always recommend that they bring a dish that fits our #PowerFilter. This is a meal that's tasty as hell but with plenty of protein, fiber and water to satisfy and keep us fuller for longer so we're not reaching for all the treats.


HERE ARE 4 (plus a special bonus!) 4TH OF JULY FAT-LOSS RECIPES FOR YOU TO TRY:

COWBOY CAVIAR

Ingredients:

• 2, 14-oz cans petite diced tomatoes (or, 4-6 fresh roma tomatoes chopped)
• 4, chopped boneless and skinless grilled chicken breasts
• 1, 15-oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1, 14-oz can corn, drained (optional)
• 1/2 medium red onion, diced
• 4 cubanelle peppers, 1diced and 3 cut into large pieces (simulating a tortilla scoop chip).
• 1/2 tsp. garlic minced or tested (tip: use a lemon zester!)
• 2 ripe avocados, pitted, peeled and diced
• 1/2 c. fresh cilantro, chopped
• 2 limes, juiced (and one zested)
• 2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
• 1 tbsp. tabasco
• 1/2 tsp. sea salt
• 1/2 tsp. black cracked pepper

Preparation:

1. In a large bowl, mix together tomatoes, black beans, corn, onion, avocado, pepper, and garlic.
2. Dress with extra virgin olive oil, lime juice, lime zest, salt and pepper and mix thoroughly.
3. Serve on top of mixed greens or lettuce or eat as a dip with cubanelle pepper "chips".

(Can be prepared the day before, if needed, as ingredients will marinate together nicely).

KALE CAESAR SALAD

Ingredients:

• 6 cups of kale (spine removed and chopped, about 2 bunches)
• 2 lemons, juiced and zested
• 2 garlic cloves, peeled 
• 1/8 c. parmesan cheese grated (optional)
• 3 tsp. anchovy paste or one container of anchovy filets, drained
• 1/2 tsp. fresh cracked black pepper
• 1/4-1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil 

Preparation:

1. Into a blender, add lemon juice and zest, garlic, cheese, anchovies and pepper. Pulse to combine, adding EVOO until you reach your desired consistency.
2. Dress kale with mixture and with clean hands, massage the kale for several minutes to combine all the ingredients.
3. Either serve immediately or let sit in the fridge for several hours before serving.

CABBAGE SLAW

Ingredients:

• 4 cups of white cabbage, shredded
• 1 cup of carrots, shredded
• 1/2 cup scallions, sliced thin
• 2/3 cup non-fat plain Greek yogurt
• 1 tsp. lemon juice
• 3 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
• 1 tbsp. honey or 1-2 drops of liquid stevia
• 1 tsp celery seed
• pinch of sea salt
• 1/2 tsp. fresh cracked black pepper
• pumpkin seeds

Preparation:

1. In a medium bowl, add yogurt, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar, honey/stevia, celery seed, s+p. Whisk to combine (or pulse in a small blender). 
2. In a small pan over med-high heat, roast pumpkin seeds until fragrant being sure to toss periodically (this will only a few minutes). Remove to cool.
3. Top slaw with cooled pumpkin seeds and stir. 

ONION DIP

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 tbsp. avocado oil
• 1 large vidalia onion, chopped
• 1 tsp. sea salt
• 1-2 garlic cloves, chopped
• 1 cup low-fat greek yogurt
• ½ cup organic mayonnaise
• ⅛ tsp. cayenne pepper
• 1 dash of paprika
• 1/4 tsp. sea salt
• ¼ tsp. cracked pepper
• 1/2 scallion, chopped

Preparation:

1. In a medium pan over medium heat, add the avocado oil.
2. Add the onion and a sprinkle of sea salt and cook until soft and brown (caramelized) about 20-30 minutes.
3. Add the garlic and stir in with onions for a minute until fragrant. Remove onion and garlic and cool.
4. In a blender, combine greek yogurt, mayonnaise, cayenne pepper, paprika and black pepper. Add the cooled onion and garlic mixture. Pulse for a few seconds to combine all the ingredients.
5. Cover and refrigerate for 2-3 hours, or until cool.
6. Sprinkle with chopped green onion and serve with homemade sweet potato chips or cucumber slices.

"OAR NAUT" TEQUILA COCKTAIL - YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!

Ok so this isn't a fat-loss recipe but it's a damn good cocktail that you might want to enjoy alongside that #PowerFilter meal. If you love margaritas, try this variation my husband and I created.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 tbsp. fresh lime juice
• 1/2 oz. St. Germaine liquor
• 1 oz. tequila
• 5 oz. plain seltzer

Preparation:

• Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and mix in all the ingredients. Shake to combine.  
• Pour cocktail over ice and serve with a fresh lime wedge.

Happy 4th of July! I wish you a safe, fun and relaxing holiday!
xo-Jess

For more insights and tips on fat-loss and healthy living from Jess, sign up HERE for weekly emails full of recipes, workouts and motivation for the busy woman! 

I did some research recently and found some pretty epic diet trends from the past, some I've never heard of. 

The Twinkie Diet,  The Sleeping Beauty Diet, The Cigarette Diet (I mean, who comes up with this stuff?), The Baby Food Diet...the list goes on and on. I'm actually pretty surprised I never got my hands on one of these at some point. 

I think we can all agree that smoking cigarettes in order to suppress our appetite and lose weight is probably not the healthiest, most sustainable form of weight loss. In fact, it's doing way more harm than good. 

These are pretty outlandish examples but the point is the same.

We are wired to believe that if a weight loss method is hard-core, it must be effective.  

The bigger the risk the bigger the reward, right? I think that's lazy thinking.

When we think rebelliously like that, we're overlooking one of the simplest and most common-sense barriers to lasting change...if it's torture to execute, it's going to be torture to maintain. Whatever results we get will most likely come back over time, if not immediately.

I overheard some ladies talking over coffee recently and the conversation blew my mind. One of them was about to go on a cleanse in which she could only drink juice for 10 days. She was doing this to get back on track and lose 15-20 pounds, she said.

Her friend was supportive at first, but then asked a great question. She said "Well I don't know, Bridget...but if the weight comes off that quickly, won't it come back on just as fast?".

Amen, sister.

But, Bridget answered with a glimmer of hope in her eye, "Well, I just figure, if I'm finally down that weight I've been trying to lose for FOREVER, I'll feel so much better about myself and I won't make stupid decisions to gain it back!".

This is the thinking of a weight-loser (I say that in the nicest way possible, just a silly play on words!), so focused on the green grass on the other side, she's not thinking through the fact that she's actually not thinking for herself one bit on this juice cleanse. She's putting a bandaid on her weight loss goal, the same bandaid she'll need to use over and over again when the weight comes back on. Only, over time, the adhesive gets worn and worn on that bandaid until she'll find the next big thing that will be the magic pill because she couldn't keep repeating the juice cleanse unsuccessfully over time.

Have you ever thought this way?

Believe me, I lived the life of a weight-loser for a really long time. I gained and lost the same 20-25 lbs over and over and over again...to the point where I had everything from a size 2 to a size 10 in my closet...just in case. I jumped from plan to plan to plan to plan, doing what most people do, searching for "the magic pill" diet that was going to stick for me. One that just made total sense and I could maintain forever.

I don't know about you but I can't live on only grapefruit and PB the rest of my life. LOL.

There's two levels of "weight-losers", IMO.

There's the 1.0 version: those of us who follow grapefruit and PB diets, crossing our fingers in the hopes that this combination of foods really does stir up a perfect chemical reaction that makes weight just melt off, like the inventors would make us believe.

And, there's the 2.0 version: those who follow more well-researched diets like The South Beach, Atkins, Hornish, etc. to the letter, complying with every single rule, eliminating "not approved foods", eating "approved ones" and moving their bodies in productive ways along with eating right to get great results.

I like 2.0. And I got lots of great results on 2.0. But, even these great results didn't last because I still was not thinking for myself following all those rules.

It wasn't until I moved from a weight-loser to a "fat-burner" that I got the best benefit of them all...I began to think for myself.

(Click here to begin thinking for yourself in my upcoming Busy But Burnin' online fitness and fat loss coaching group which is now open for enrollment).

Just over a year ago, I said good-bye to my husband and two little guys (3 and almost 1 at the time) and hopped on a plane to Santa Monica, California to go to, what was for me (and many others), a completely life changing event.  I was headed to The Radiance Retreat, which is an annual event hosted by lifestyle and fitness experts Neghar Fonooni of Eat, Lift and Be Happy, Jen Sinkler of Thrive , and Jill Coleman of JillFit Physiques.
 
The universe was plotting a bit of an intervention for me, you see. I had recently been let go from my role as General Sales Manager for a top radio station in Boston, a career I had cultivated for 10+ years. I was considering many options to jump back into Corporate America but I was feeling a pull to begin anew and follow a dream I’ve had for years. In fact, months before my career change, I had pressed "buy" to attend this retreat. As a lifelong fitness lover and health enthusiast, I wanted to begin a business to help time starved women create the healthy change they are seeking in their lives and this weekend was a chance to explore the viability of this venture. 
 
After Day 1, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that this was my time to forge this new career path. This weekend away, the friendships created, the inspiration gleaned, the exceptional business and training content covered…I left more inspired than I had been in years. As I sat on the plane on my way back to Boston reflecting on my weekend and my vision, Be PowerFULL was born. Just one short month later, I launched www.jessicaoar.com. It's been an amazing first year of dedication, growth, challenge and opportunity and I feel so grateful that I said ‘yes’ and jumped.
 
But, there was another completely unexpected turn of events during my weekend in Venice Beach. My personal fitness path was forever changed when I walked through the doors of Paradiso CrossFit where Jen Sinkler and Jennifer Vogelgesang Blake (JVB) were about to engage us in a conversation about Deadlifts and Biofeedback, an intuitive training model.
 
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t walk into that gym with a little bit of a competitive spirit that day. As a lifelong athlete, I felt confident trying new fitness training methods throughout the years; recreational teams, boxing, various bootcamp classes, flag football. I figured I’d pick it up rather quickly. I didn’t expect to be pretty much one of the greenest of green lifters of the group. In fact, let's be real, I wasn’t a lifter. I had barely touched a barbell before in my life. I was a runner, sprinter, triathlete, a queen of metabolic conditioning with moderate weights.
 
Here’s the thing about deadlifting: this is not a grip and rip kind of move where you jump in and see how it goes. I was immediately humbled, both because of the serious implications if I didn’t listen to my body and practice solid form, but also because lifting dead weight off the ground is god-damn HARD. But, oh so rewarding. Here’s a video of Newbie Jess doing my first deadlifts ever. I’ll tell you this, I felt my glutes and back the next day….like, whoa! (PS - how serious do I look?)

4 Lessons of Powerlifting - Year 1
​
#1 Embrace Sisterhood
One of the first things I discovered in that gym that day was an overwhelming spirit of sisterhood. As a competitive athlete and salesperson, I was no stranger to approaching each situation positioning to be the best. But, I was surprised to find that there was not one woman in that gym that was trying to beat each other out. On the contrary, it was an environment of comradery and togetherness in strength. In fact, when I spoke up about my inexperience, many experienced lifters swarmed to help me learn the intricacies of the sport they love. One of the first to meet me at the barbell was JVB of Strong Is Fun. JVB, if you don’t know her, is a super talented and badass powerlifting coach at The Movement Minneapolis and creator of Unapologetically Powerful, an online powerlifting program. 

#2 Train with Intention + Patience
When I got home from California, I got to work. That experience, seeing the power and confidence radiating from these women who had been training for years and years with heavy weight, it lit a fire within me. It was a different kind of fire than I had experienced before. I didn't want to train to beat anyone else, I wanted to get better for myself and step into my power to learn something new with discipline and self-compassion, similar to the journey that each of my clients go on as they begin anew. It's a journey that's entirely personal and about being more, and doing more, progressively, and believing that you are capable. This new fitness challenge was exactly what I was looking for.

My heavy lifting journey wasn't entirely smooth initially. I was learning from form videos on YouTube videos I had googled, there were times that I attempted way too much weight when my ego took over, moments where I wasn't lifting safely with the equipment, and where didn't have a clear understanding for how to progress my lifts and support my training in the three big lifts with other training. I knew I needed to enlist the help of a coach if I wanted to take my progress, and safety, seriously. 

#3 Ask For Help
I then had the pleasure of working with Jen Sinkler and JVB in an beta coaching group for Unapologetically Strong. It was here where I really started to see my training soar and progress. I got access to these two super talented coaches who are the best at what they do and deliver feedback that just makes sense; every cue tip I received from them was on point and easy to understand. When I approach the bar, I think about Jen's cue of "squeezing oranges under my armpits" to really pack my shoulders and engage my lats in my deadlift. When I approach my squat, I stagger my feet, something JVB helped me to tweak so I can get lower in the movement. I also learned to use new equipment and became comfortable with the accessory moves that upped the ante on my lifts.

As Cardigan Mark at The Movement Minneapolis is quoted saying "If you want to be OK at something, do it yourself. If you want to be the best at something, hire a coach", and in my next phase, I did just that. 

When JVB announced Unapologetically Powerful, her guide to strengthening your squat, bench and deadlift, I was in immediately. I outfitted my garage gym with a power rack, barbell, bench and plates and worked through her 12 week powerlifting program. Not only was it thorough, easy to understand and implement, but I PR'd like crazy using her guide. I'm also fully equipped with all the information I need to enter and train for my first powerlifting meet...which is absolutely my next step.

#4 Be Big
Perhaps, one of the most impactful lessons I've learned in my first year of powerlifting is that this sport is not about shrinking, in fact, it celebrates bigness in every sense of the word. It celebrates building muscle, but not for our appearance - although that's fun too - but for what it represents. Discipline, consistency, power, physical and mental strength, a strength that extends beyond the gym and into every aspect of our lives. As many fitness professionals are still talking about losing weight and getting smaller, powerlifting celebrates strength in all shapes and sizes. 

I was beyond excited to see JVB announce her Unapologetically Powerful Virtual Powerlifting Meet (happening this week!). If you want a dose of inspiration and to see what this sport is all about, head on over to #upowerful and check out all the incredible women squatting, benching and deadlifting like crazy. I'm having so much fun participating and cheering everyone on! You get 3 attempts on each lift and it's all happening this week. I completed my submissions today, check out the video below to see my PR's in all 3 lifts!

Want to get started? 
If you want to get stronger than you ever thought possible, look no further than this program, Unapologetically Powerful. I heard that JVB is offering it half off through Friday, April 22nd as part of the virtual meet this week. This program is cowritten with Jen Sinkler, with valuable input from Movement Minneapolis founder David Dellanave.

Here's what's in the program:

• A comprehensive training manual that includes Beginner and Early Intermediate 12-week powerlifting programs, with a detailed introduction to biofeedback training.
• An extensive guide on how to compete for first-time powerlifters who want to step onto the platform.
• A complete exercise glossary with clear-cut written coaching cues and images.
• A massive video library of more than 140 exercise demonstration videos. Every movement in the program is in the video library, with detailed coaching cues to walk you through each exercise step by step.
• A 4-week pre-powerlifting program add-on written by David to prepare your body to safely train for the back squat, bench press, and deadlift.

Click here to learn more on her HALF PRICE offer!

Did you know that a large percentage of time that we're traveling on an airplane, the plane is actually flying off course? I was floored when I heard this, but actually, the more I thought about it, the more I got it. Weather patterns, emergencies...just as we drive a car, pilots must be alert and constantly making tiny micro-adjustments to keep the plane on course, until it reaches it's final destination. 

I heard this recently in an Amy Porterfield interview with author, Michael Hyatt, of "How To Intentionally Design the Life You Want". A reader of Michael's, a pilot, had reached out to him to share this fact (above) and discuss Michael's belief that most people don't make these types of micro-adjustments in their lives because they don't have a clear destination. Thus, they are drifting off course.

Michael says, "But, if we know where we're going and we're willing to be honest with where we are, then we can be patient to take the steps we need to be in a different place". 

Guys, I love this so much. So much so, that when I was listening to this Amy Porterfield Podcast while driving, I had to veer off the road (pun intended) to make notes about how I feel this applies to dieting. Because, I think there's a distinct connection between the way pilots operate their course and how I believe we should manage our nutrition.

But, I'll first start with what we are conditioned to do. Say we feel that we have weight to lose and we're home on the weekend flipping through TV channels and we see the latest diet system on an infomercial. We get sucked in, right? The marketing, the promises, the lab-tested results...we think, yes...THIS!...this is the plan I was waiting for!

The problem is, many of the diets we try that are one-sized fits all plans, fail to address that each of us is unique, they fail to address our former relationship with food, our unique hormonal make-up...our lifestyle. While a 21 day diet where you're told what, when, and how to eat may get quick results, most of the time, it's at the expense of the long term vision, the longterm destination.

So, to keep the travel analogy going, it's like the driver or pilot becoming aware of an obstacle, like a pocket of weather or patch of ice, and aggressively veering off course, rather than making logical, small micro-adjustments.

We panic, right? We want the results right now so we go ALL IN to crazy diets, but unfortunately, that sometimes results in crashes - in undoing everything we worked hard for - in staying stuck in the same reasons we were unhappy to begin with.

Mindfulness around our nutrition and goals means truly listening to ourselves, becoming a student and taking the longview. It's not the most attractive way in the eyes of modern society, but it is the sustainable way. 

In my fat-loss lifestyle program (join the waitlist here) and my private coaching, I work with my clients from a tried and true framework that helps each individual to get off the "rules" bandwagon and start creating their own fat-loss lifestyle, making their own micro-adjustments, where they're meeting their goals in a sustainable way and, by the way, taking more ownership over the results.

I don't think that I have all the answers, not by a long shot. Nor does the scientist or doctor from the program you see on infomercials. YOU do, actually. With some research, a coach and some hard work, I do think that you can actually design a lifestyle you enjoy where you're happy with the way you're moving and eating, and getting the results you desire.

So, where do you start?

Become aware. Ask questions of yourself. Be an observer in your own life. Don't go on autopilot but begin to ask why... A LOT.

Take one week where you keep a food journal and note how your energy, hunger and cravings feel at 9am, 12pm, 3pm and 6pm each day. Start to identify times of the day when your energy crashes and has you reaching for treats or which foods cause you to become ravenously hungry just a short time after you consume them.

Make mental notes of times where you are eating mindlessly or feeling out of control with your nutrition. How do you feel? What triggers do you notice? Did you did you skip breakfast and lunch but eat a continuous meal from dinner to bedtime because you didn't eat all day long? Did you intend to order a salad at lunch but get caught up in peer pressure from co-workers to go in on a pizza? Did you have enough food on hand for simple, nutritious dinners at home or did you fall into the take-out trap?

One week. Start here. You will be impressed with what you notice when you stop implementing plan after plan and start turning inward to simply notice. See, we can't decide a destination until we know where we are. 

Remember Michael Hyatt's wise words, "...if we know where we're going and we're willing to be honest with where we are, then we can be patient to take the steps we need to be in a different place".  

If you can do this with self-compassion and a bit of a clinical view, removing judgement and shame but just noticing, you'll see the large picture and be able to identify the "big rocks" of your new micro-adjustment journey. Think; small changes, big benefits. ​

I'm not going to sugarcoat it...I've had a REALLY challenging morning with my kids. Despite the fact that it's my youngest's second birthday today and I had a fun day planned, it was a doozy of a morning.

I had a bunch of activities planned. Birthday waffles, a trip to their favorite playground, a new soccer class for Benjamin (almost 4), a playdate with our friends, and then a picnic lunch with birthday doughnuts.

I started the day optimistic and happy after a great 6am training session in my garage with some amazing women. I was ready to hit the day with the boys and enjoy the nice weather and the special occasion! 

Here's how it went down...

• I set the boys up with a show so I could shower and dress like a normal human being (a delicacy in the life of a trainer) only to emerge from the bathroom to find Nate standing on my dresser and Ben climbing on my hamper reaching for a bottle of vitamins.
• I organized a "garage" of cars and trucks under the dining room table to entertain them as I packed for the morning, a task which ended up taking 5x as long since I had to stop every 30 seconds to break up the constant wrestling matches.
• Benjamin resisted joining in the soccer class, clinging to my shirt as if I were leaving him for a week
• Nate wanted to be on the field with the big kids, so I did my best bear hug restraint for about 30 minutes straight
• Both boys soaked themselves in a water fountain and we ended up leaving the event early as I had to follow through on my "last warning or else we have to leave!"

Driving home, I felt defeated, frustrated, exhausted and powerless. "​How did this morning go down like this?" "How did I lose my cool?" "Am I even a good mom?" "Are my kids being judged?" "Am I being judged?" "Am I messing them up?". Let the hurricane-brain ensue. 

Wasn't it just last week that my husband and I were sitting together drinking coffee, watching the kids play quietly and talking about how amazingly behaved they've been? That's the funny thing about parenting....you can't say out loud how wonderful things are going so as to stir up the universe. ;)

Parenting calls for us to be flexible, resilient and being prepared for the proverbial sh*t to hit the fan. Sometimes we navigate it with grace and precision, other times we fail HARD and feel powerless. I think the biggest mistake we make as parents is to let one tough day, one morning even, make us feel like we're failing. We let our mistakes, and short moments in time where we were anything but our best, take away our power as the amazing caregivers and women we really are, doing our best to give our kids the best.

I think it's only natural for us to project out and imagine that the kid that's throwing rocks at the playground may turn into a dangerous teen getting into fights outside school, or, that our shy child will become an outcast and have a hard time making connections in their life. We want so much for our children, more than what we had, and we can tend to exaggerate the small things. We are also bound to have moments where we feel anything but powerful.

Here's the thing, though, feeling powerful isn't a full-time job. We are going to have times where we feel that we've stepped OUT of our power and lost our resolve. In those times, after mornings like this morning, I try to remind myself of this...

"I don't aim to be perfect. I only aim to be fearless and resilient with myself" - Unknown

As fate would have it, in my first free moment to myself today I opened my email to find a note from our Doula wishing us a Happy Birthday, reminding me how strong and powerful I was on this day, two years ago as our Nathan Charlie came into this world. After a 15 hour labor and enduring what our midwife deemed a "gladiator birth", Nathan arrived via a natural VBAC. It was life-changing.

I remember how invincible and strong I felt that day. I had never felt more in my power. My body had been through the ringer and my mind had endured it's greatest challenge to date. It was excruciating, exhausting, beautiful and awe-inspiring.

​Today, I remember that day, when I felt in the fullness of my power. And, I give myself permission to feel not so powerful   in this moment. It's all good. I hope you give yourself that permission as well.

Even as a trainer, coach and someone who loves to train, there are days where I just don't feel like getting my workout in and I make a million excuses as to why I should just mail it in, throw on my slippers and house sweater and get to it tomorrow. You, too?

I completely get it.

Some days we feel like a million bucks and we're ready for anything, other days we would rather get a latte and a donut (which is fine, by the way!). 

There are days when we feel bloated and lazy and the thought of jumping up and down and moving around weights around feels like a death sentence.

When our mind becomes a hurricane of all the excuses and things that need to get done, giving ourselves the out from our workout often feels like the biggest gift we can give to ourselves. Which it is, some days. I'm all about that gentle grit...sometimes we push, other times we let ourselves rest.

But, willpower and motivation is in inside game, and I know from the many women I work with that an act of self-compassion like giving ourselves an out tends to reeeeeally be a form of self-sabatogue. Meaning: we do it too often.

We say...

"I've had a hard day, I deserve to just rest with this ice-cream on the couch"

"I'll get back to it Monday after this crazy week"

"I'll get to the gym when my new leggings come in the mail"

"When the kids aren't sick"

The list goes on, right? 

But, here's the deal: there's a big difference between not letting ourselves off the hook and feeling completely over the moon excited about our workout. Sometimes, we need a baby step. Something to get our mind back in the game. A tool to combat the career lawyers in our brains that can, in 10 seconds flat, build a fabulous case for why organizing the garage is where we really should be spending our time right now. 

I firmly believe that when we struggle with discipline and workout consistency, we are being called to keep things simple.

To do less, not more.

To not add another method of training to our ever-growing list of fitness we take part in. To get back to the basics.

I love to try new things in the gym and I'm often working towards mastering new skills, which means these workouts take more mental energy than the ones I can plug into rather quickly. They call for following new cues and thinking more than usual about what I'm doing. If I find myself procrastinating and just not feeling these workouts, I use this simple trick to get myself over the hurdle of taking the first step.

Try this: Commit to 5 minutes.

When the excuses start stacking up, I strip it down to the basics, committing to 5 minutes of moving my body purposefully and intensely. I choose between 1-4 full body exercises, set a 5 minute timer and complete the movement(s) as fast and crisply as possible. See, I know I can do anything for 5 minutes.

I call these 5 minutes body and mindset shifters Power-Ups and my clients use them as a consistency tool; on days where they can't get a full workout in, need a pump up in between meetings at work or while the kids are at the dinner table as a powerful reset for the body and mind. The resulting muscle burn and breathlessness from 5 minutes of intensity can be a powerful reminder of our commitment to our health and consistency. 

I don't know about you, but when I'm climbing into the car or up the staircase and I feel my muscles buzzing from the work I've done, even the 5 minutes of work, I'm far more present in making decisions that support my health goals; opting for healthy, nutrient-dense food rather than those that will spike my blood sugar and cause more cravings; like, a bagel or scone at the drive-thru or a handful of goldfish from my kid's plate.

There's a million ways we spend 5 minutes during our day; doing dishes or laundry, sitting on hold on a call, waiting in a check-out line. In fact, I always think back to Junior High and High School, when 4 minutes was the time between period bells where we had to get to our lockers, pass a few notes and get to our next class. It always felt like no time at all - surely, I can do anything intense in that short of a window, right?!

How to do a Power-Up:

Try this bodyweight circuit of three exercises (squats, push-ups and split jumps), one after the other for 10 reps each. Do AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) in 5 minutes, keeping the movements very crisp and tight. Rest only when you need to and go for it until the 5 minute mark. {Video shows full movements then modifications}. The goal is to reach muscle failure and breathlessness.

Try it out and be sure to share your #powerup success with us here in the Be PowerFULL community. 

Organic, low calorie, low fat, fat free, gluten free, grain free....AHHHHH!

The one thing I hear most often from my clients is that grocery shopping has become an overwhelming experience. Every day, there seems to be new data on a magic food from the himalayas we NEED to eat for fat loss or new must-have supplements that will catapult us into the body of our dreams.

If you read a dozen health articles on a daily basis like I do, it gets confusing right? Who do we listen to? What's right and what's marketing?

We can get so overwhelmed with the suggestions for eating for fat loss, muscle gain, gut health, hormonal balance, cancer evasion, stress management, foot health (ok, that was a stretch) that we get into a little paralysis by alongside and instead, just go head first in bags of salt-and-vinegar chips. No fun.

Focus us on the big rocks of eating for fat loss and don't worry about the rest. Getting competent and consistent begins with simplifying.

The 7 big rocks of eating for fat-loss.

1. Get more protein.

Building lean muscle mass is an essential component to fat loss. The more muscle we have, the higher our resting metabolic rate, the more we burn while at rest. Many diet programs concentrate on weight loss, irregardless of where that weight is coming from (muscle loss). Smart fat-loss programs concentrate not only on burning fat but on building muscle. Protein is essential for muscle repair and growth. Focus on getting 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight every single day. Though I'm not an advocate of excessive calorie counting and food weighing, I do suggest that you write down what you eat for a few days on your current diet to get an idea for how it levels up to this daily protein goal.

2. Understand 'food buckets'.

Those who know me will know that I'm not keen on tracking macronutrients, to the same degree that I don't like a food scale on my counter or a food journal next to me at all times, or for my clients for that matter. But, I've done a lot of trial and error to get to this point, understanding what works for me for many different phases of my training. I believe there's a more intuitive and sustainable (and kind!) ways to identify what types of foods sustain your energy, control your hunger and curb your cravings and frankly, it takes a little time. I coach this as part of my Find Your Fat-Loss P.U.L.S.E. methodology of my fat-loss lifestyle program. But, I encourage you to have an awareness of the foods that make up your diet and which macronutrient category they might fall into. Macros are the essential components of a human diet (protein, carbohydrates and fat) for our bodies to function properly. We should get 45-65% of your daily caloric intake from carbohydrates, 20-35% from fat and 10-35% from protein. But, aggressive marketing might lead us to believe that foods have more fat-burning potential than they really do. Start looking at labels and mentally compartmentalizing which macro bucket the food will fall into. For example, peanut butter has 16 g of fat, 6 g carb and 8 g protein. Yes, it has protein but it's in the fat, not protein, bucket. Meaning, don't overdo it!

3. Become aware of YOUR hunger cues.

A diet may tell you to start your day with oatmeal and berries but if that meal spikes your blood sugar and makes you hungrier for your next meal sooner, well, perhaps for you, eggs and veggies are the right start to your day. This is why I do not focus on calories with the woman I work with. There's about 250 calories in a bagel and the same for a 3 egg omelet with a slice of bacon. I had a bagel last weekend with smoked salmon and all the fixings and let me tell you, I could have had another about two minutes after finishing my meal. You see, just a bit of protein on my bagel with the salmon was not enough to satiate me. I perform better on high fiber, high protein meals. What works for YOU? Which brings me to...

4. At meal time think "fiber & protein first".

Foods with high, water, fiber and protein are filling and satiating and should have the first and largest spot on our plate. If I could give you only one piece of advice on what to focus on to have a fat-loss diet, I would say focus on eating more vegetables and protein. Roasted and sautéed veggies, leafy salad greens, even blanched if you like that sort of thing, are nutrient packed with essential vitamins our body needs. More importantly, though, vegetables and lean meats fill us up and leave us satisfied where high sugar foods may fill initially us but they spike our blood-sugar and leave us looking for more only a short time later (another bagel, anyone?).

5. Learn Metabolic Effect's label rule.

Remember when I was talking about macros? The ME label rule was a game changer for me to decide which snack at the interstate rest area was my best choice for my fat loss diet. In fact, I would eat Cliff Bars like a champ until I applied the ME label rule and realized they were simply glorified candy bars (which of course, sent me back to when I was 12 and choosing candy from the local convenience store and I chose licorice because it said it was a "Fat-Free Food" on the label - LOL). Here's the label rule: find the carbohydrate total on the nutrition label and subtract fiber and protein from that. If you're left with a number that's under 10, it's a great choice to give you energy, satisfy you and control your cravings.

6. Date the right carbs.

You know how some relationships drain the hell out of you and take you off course, even when they're fun as hell? Maybe an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend fits the bill on this description. Well, you're not going to stop dating entirely right?! We just need to find the right type of relationship that make us happy and keeps us on path to our goals in life. The old way of dieting is to eliminate carbs completely from our diet, only to send us right back to what we eliminated in the first place. This, admittedly, is hard but I want to give you a few things to focus on. First, try to limit packaged carbohydrates like snacks, cereals and breads. If you start to look at labels and listen to yourself, you'll start realize that when the protein and fiber is low and carbs and fats are high (which is why they're so tasty!), your hunger and cravings suffer. Eating carbs earlier in the day, focusing on fibrous options like sweet potato, oats, apples and strawberries and focusing on veggies and protein at mealtime first with a couple bites of fibrous carbs on the side, are all ways to re-prioritize carbs to work for you. Little known fact: you actually need carbs to build muscle so when your goal is to increase lean muscle mass, dating the right carbs are key for you.

7. Don't wait to eat.

It's common for serial dieters to get through the day quite comfortably on a new diet, but at night, the cravings and hunger hits. Try not to get caught up at your workspace or in your day to day activities that you forget to eat. Eating every few hours allows us to stay in control of our hunger and cravings so that when evening hits, they don't spike. Psychologically, this is where we tend to walk ourselves into a trap thinking "I've done so well all day, so this snack won't hurt!". Focusing on eating every few hours, whether that means 4 meals or 6 is a key component to eating for fat-loss (and making sure we fuel our workouts).

That's plenty of enough to think about, and practice, as we sample and edit our diet to keep us on path to our goals, right? It's a process to build our personalized fat-loss lifestyle and it takes practice, which is why I advocate to go ahead and sample some kumbucha, talk to your doctor or coach about supplements, research the right oils to work with at certain cooking temps, but please, focus on the big rocks of fat loss first. Put your time and energy here first...on the big rocks of fat loss.

If you want more information like this on getting fit, finding your power and living a full life, join my weekly newsletter here for free:

​I got really into spin years ago. For about six months, like clockwork, I would wake up at 5:30am...drag myself out of bed and drive a mile down the road for spin class, 3 days a week. I'd get there by 5:45am and join the early morning crew in the vestibule outside the gym, waiting around for the door to be unlocked. This is before all those fancy apps where you could reserve your spot in the class (even your bike, I think?). So, to ensure you didn't miss a spot and get bumped out of the class, you showed up early to wait for the gym to officially open.
 
Over time, I got to know the characters of this crew. There was Richard, the older gentleman who rocked his bike shorts with pride and always had his suit in a travel bag hooked on his finger. Richard made friends with everyone and so, to know Richard was to know everyone in the morning crew. There was Carol who worked the front desk. She wasn't peppy in the least bit, especially to be bombarded with a line of members right when she clocked in for work. She made sure to let you know it, too. There was Sarah, who was my age and we always joked we were surprised we didn't see each other out the night before as Charlestown had all but three bars to choose between. There was the bookworm of the crew who always had her head down in her latest novel but we knew was listening to everything we said. George was a talker, and some mornings I hoped he and Richard would strike up a conversation so I could retreat under my hood with my headphones and iPod, especially during the cold winter mornings. 
 
Some mornings we chatted, other mornings were quiet, but we showed up for ourselves and each other day after day. There was something really cool about this camaraderie with virtual strangers. Of course, new faces popped in for a day or a week at a time, but there were 8 of us who showed up religiously and pushed ourselves like badasses class after class, week after week, dripping in sweat, then heading off on our separate paths to work. We all had our favorite bikes and fell into formation pretty quickly once we headed into the room and wheeled them over to our spots. Our instructor Heather would show up late, always, but made up for that with playlists I so wish I could track down now and her infectious enthusiasm. I loved the way I'd get harassed if I stayed out too late and missed a class one morning and how accountable I felt to this crew. The thought of them standing outside the gym waiting for class got me out of bed many of those mornings.
 
I've always loved being on a team growing up, from chanting swim team cheers at meets together, busting out suicides side-by-side on the soccer field, enduring long road trips to tournaments and lately, completing 200-mile relays sleepless and smelly with eleven other runners. Screaming, cheering, high-fiving, winning and losing, and most importantly...lifting each other up, living our real life Rocky movies. This isn't just the stuff of high school team sports, this is something we can create for ourselves today, at any age, bolstered around our goals of self-improvement and empowerment. 
 
BUILD YOUR CREW!
 
Look around the gym, in your group training, even on FB, for people doing what you are (or want to be doing) and reach out, introduce yourself. If you're connecting with a few women who are often at your same spin class, suggest a social get together outside of class like a walk on the weekend or a coffee after class. If you want to create a recurring social workout, email a group of women you know who are interested in wellness and build a hiking or walking group. If you want to get into weight-lifting but don't know where to start, ask your friends on FB who are always talking about deadlifts and squats to join them at their gym for a session or pick their brain about where to start. Connect with other women who want the same things for themselves and create a sisterhood around supporting and lifting each other up!
 
Don't be afraid of it! Be authentically you and invite a connection with others that will help you to make your fitness goals a part of your lifestyle. You've got this. Go ahead, your crew is waiting!

​ 
************************************
If you are local to the South Shore of Massachusetts, I'm excited to tell you that a new crew is currently forming in my newly renovated home gym (Old Oaken Bucket Road in Norwell). This month, I am offering free group personal training sessions to kick off my 12-week series, helping you jumpstart your health & fitness and form a new crew of powerful women with similar goals! Group personal training sessions are designed to burn fat, gain muscle and increase your all-around fitness and power! I will be offering Monday, Wednesday and Friday sessions for the weeks of February 8th and February 15th. Space is very limited so be sure to act quickly and reserve your spot for free for one or all of the sessions. Email me at jess@jessicaoar.com to reserve your spot.

I have the pleasure of training local friends and clients in person in my home gym. My clients are in and out in 30 minutes flat...and that's WITH a decent warm-up and cool-down. Personally, I fell in love with this type of workout 7 years ago and then doubled-down on using it exclusively during a very stressful time in my life just a few years ago. I've never seen my body change so quickly.

​

 I laced up my sneakers and headed into my garage for my workout. As I walked through the door, I noticed a nervous anticipation, like the way I've felt in the past entering a conference room before a presentation or waiting in a dentist chair for work to be done. I was legitimately nervous as hell and I was all by myself. No one to impress, no one to compete with. Only me, about to do a pretty standard metabolic workout.

Even after many years of intense circuit training, I still get butterflies before I begin a workout. It's the anticipation of the "suck", the point in my workout when my lungs are screaming for air, my muscles are burning and my mind is wondering what the hell I got myself into. Know the feeling?

The thing with short, intense exercise is that we work at maximum effort throughout the entire workout, with the exception of short rests. There's no pacing. That's a tough transition for many to make, especially those of us with cardio backgrounds like running.

See, with running, we knew it would get easier. We would get to a place where our body would adapt and we wouldn't have to work as hard to complete the 8-minute mile. If we're lucky, we even get to experience the "runners high", where we feel like we could run for hours. 

Alternatively, spending a twenty minute workout pushing up against the edge of our comfort zone is well...uncomfortable. But it is, in fact, the goal of a metabolic conditioning workout...to push to our edge over and over and over again in a short period of time. Discomfort then, is the proof that we are doing it right!

How do we learn to love the "suck"? We recognize that that the point where we want to give up is our opportunity to level up. To endure through the discomfort is to offer ourselves over to expansion and growth. 

The energetic experience has me coming back to intense training, day after day. Beyond the fat-burning and time-saving benefits of efficient, intense exercise, I come back for the mental game. Every workout is a new opportunity to show myself how leaning into the "suck" is where I become the most powerful version of myself.

​And, I can't help but recognize how these solitary daily wins in my garage help me to take on the rest of my life with more confidence and awareness.

As a young athlete, I cringed when a coach programmed long distance work into practices. I can even remember hiding in the locker room at swim team practice during a particularly grueling long distance workout when I was very young. I much preferred a series of short sprints, rather than long, steady endurance work. It's no surprise to me, then, that I've gravitated towards intense metabolic conditioning in my adult fitness life. But, beyond my personal preference, I've found metabolic conditioning to be the most efficient form of exercise for those interested in fat-loss, physique change and consistency with their fitness. In fact, it's almost exclusively what I used to shed weight after having my second child.

What is Metabolic Conditioning (MetCon)?

It could be difficult to decipher what MetCon actually is as the fitness industry uses this term to describe many forms of exercise; Tabata (Example: 20 seconds of work followed by 10 seconds of rest for 8 rounds), Circuit Training (Example: 3-5 movements done for 8-12 reps in a row with no rest between sets) and HIIT or High-Intensity Interval Training (Example: 30 second sprint followed by 30 seconds of recovery for a specific period of time). Though there are various ways to go about it, the goal of Metabolic Conditioning is to increase your body’s ability to transport oxygen from your lungs to your cells and then use this to generate the energy needed to move your muscles. We have 3 metabolic pathways in our body and each uses a different method to generate energy; the phosphagen pathway (anaerobic), glycolytic pathway (anaerobic) and oxidative pathway (aerobic). The aerobic pathway requires oxygen from our lungs for energy and provides energy for longer periods of time, where the anaerobic pathways, used in heavier weight training and sprinting, are sustainable for a short period of time - using stored energy very quickly. Metabolic Conditioning helps us to become more efficient with all three increasing our overall fitness and metabolic rate (how much energy (calories) we burn at rest).

So why does this matter?

I used to be concerned with calorie burn and calorie burn only when it came to my fitness. I believed that hours of cardio was the only way to lose weight and stay fit, so I ran 3-5x a week. I think there were a few times when I experienced the "runners high" and I felt I could have run for hours but most of the time, I was forcing something I didn't love. I did "weight training" but I was in the camp that believed I would get too bulky if I lifted anything more than 10 lb. weights. Unfortunately, the result of this workout routine was that I was constantly injured. My knees ached, my back flared up from time to time, my core was weak and though I was in shape aerobically, my body appeared soft. It wasn't until I began integrating MetCon into my weekly routine that I built muscle, avoided injury and began to see my body shape change.

MetCon and Fat Loss - Hold on and let me get a little more scientific. :)

Any type of exercise we engage in raises our stress hormones adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol in our body. As the human body is built to do, the cortisol (stress) release sends us into “fight or flight” mode burning the readily available energy from glycogen (sugar). Intense exercise like MetCon though, depletes the sugar stores, lowers oxygen stores and sends us into an anaerobic zone, building up lactic acid in our muscles and releasing fat-burning hormones, Testosterone and Human Growth Hormone (HGH) which are necessary for fat-loss. When stress and growth hormones are released together, as my friends at Metabolic Effect refer as the "hormonal soup" that causes the Metabolic Effect, we telling our body to burn fat for long after our workout (24-48 hours!) as our body repairs itself post-workout.
 
Not convinced? Here are my Top 10 reasons why you should love MetCon training...

#1 Your workouts are shorter and less frequent.
MetCon workouts can be done in as little as 15-20 minutes a day, 3 times a week.

#2 You can exercise anywhere.
Since MetCon workouts can be done using bodyweight or simple equipment like moderate to heavy dumbbells, these workouts can fit into any lifestyle, no matter how chaotic (hello, parents and business travelers!); the playground, a parking lot, a hotel room...yes, even your bathroom.

#3 You work your entire body.
MetCon workouts use full-body exercises that recruit multiple joints and muscle groups, making the work you do extra efficient. Sprinting, burpeees, push-ups, squat presses, renegade rows and squat jumps are just some examples of movements that use your entire body to perform. Bonus: Since our abdominals/core is used to stabilize many of these multi-joint movements, gone are the days when you need to do ab work at the end of your workout!
​

#4 You get it done.
Simple get's done, complicated get's put off. Some of my absolute favorite (and killer!) MetCon workouts are so straightforward and simple, they look downright easy on paper. We can overcomplicate things by paying for fancy gym memberships and complicated workout plans. Try doing 10x reps of each of these movements one after the other for 5 sets: Push-Ups, Pulsing Squats, Mountain Climbers, Weighted Hip Thrusts. Breathless and burning? I think so! 

#5 You don't get bored.
While I recommend sticking to the basics when beginning MetCon intervals or circuits, once you're ready for variety, there's literally hundreds of movements you can integrate into MetCon workouts. And additionally, many ways to structure your circuits and intervals to keep things interesting using structures like complexes, ladders, chains, combos, supersets and more. 

#6 You focus on the intensity that's right for YOU.
Perhaps one of the most important things to remember if you are new to MetCon workouts is that the goal during the working periods is to work as hard as you can, to YOUR edge, and even your edge on ANY GIVEN DAY. Intense workouts call for just that, intense periods of work, and restorative rest so you can push hard again. I follow Metabolic Effect's Rest Based Training in all of my circuits: "Push until you can't, rest until you can". As Jade Teta says, "with rest-based training you use rest strategically to generate just the right intensity for your individual metabolic needs". Taking longer periods of rest, using modifications to movements and using lighter weights are all ways to back off intensity so that you can rest until you can push hard yet again.

#7 You will burn more fat.
Intense MetCon workouts burn-fat increase your metabolic rate, allowing you to burn fat up to 48 hours AFTER work is complete, unlike a moderate pace run when your calorie burn is complete at the end of your workout.

#8 You will shape your body.
Many calorie-restrictive diets and endurance cardio programs stimulate weight loss at the expense of muscle. Intense MetCon workouts build lean muscle and burn fat, helping you to reshape your body rather than slim-down.

#9 You can progress when you're ready.
Just as intensity is relative to you and even you on any given day, MetCon workouts allow you to progress (add weight, speed, reduce rest) when you gain strength. 

#10 You will develop grit.
This is perhaps my favorite benefit of MetCon. It's exceptionally powerful to witness one of my client's break through mental barriers they've had up for years, silencing that little voice that says "Oh, you can't do that!". Our confidence is like a muscle - the more we use it the more it grows. MetCon training pushes us to our edge each and every workout, helping us to to dig into our mental strength. Every time that we push ourselves through something we didn't think we could handle, we gain confidence and step into our power. 

#11 You can fit it into your busy life with consistency.
Before I had children, I became a triathlete. As a competitive person, I didn't want to just finish my first season, I wanted to place. I set to out to compete in 5 triathlons my first (and only!) season and launched into a plan that required 10 hours of training each and every week at a minimum. I got it done, but just BARELY. I didn't like to be a slave to my workout routine and certainly, once I had kids, a marriage, a career and a house to pay attention to...it was downright unrealistic for me.

MetCon workouts are intense and short. I love that on weeks where life happens and doctor's appointments, work meetings and sick children dominate my schedule, I can get it done in only 3, 15-20 minute workouts a week! 45-60 minutes of training vs. 10 hours...you tell me which gets done with consistency! 

Want to learn how? Enrollment is now open for Busy But Burnin', the 6 week fitness and fat loss coaching group that starts on Monday. Learn how to get intense with your workouts at-home with easy to follow videos. Learn more here.

How many times will we launch ourselves head first into a new diet believing that THIS IS IT, this is the diet to end all diets? Of course, we've read this book before, right? This storyline is ripe with history.

We have all been there, if not once or twice, a handful of times. A dozen times, even. Yet, each time we start a new restrictive eating plan, we slip on our rose colored glasses and believe that this time is different. Last time, we were going through a stressful event, or pregnant, or dealing with a sick parent, or child who needed extra help at school, or our nagging knee injury kept us from the gym...and on and on it goes. This time, this is really it.

Ah, stop the madness.

One of the number one reasons I hear from women about why they do not stick to their healthy habits is because they have self-sabotaged their efforts. They know this, yet they keep doing it. They believe that because they slipped to an 8 on the scale of diet perfection (10 being perfect) that they should just bail completely. Two reasons this happens are laziness and lack of self-trust. See, it's much more difficult to manage our willpower after eating a little less than perfect, it's far easier to give up completely and drown our shame in some Oreos and milk, holding out that this perfect execution of a diet is somewhere in our future. We fear sliding up and down the scale because we don't believe we have the ability to self-regulate.

If we want to give up the need to diet perfectly and follow rulebooks, we must learn how to self-regulate, avoiding the highs and lows of the diet cycle. I've compiled my top four tools to do just that. I also teach these concepts in my upcoming program Busy But Burnin' (enrollment now open...it starts Monday!).

Tool #1: Empower yourself to indulge every single day.

Eating dry chicken and broccoli is no way to go through life. I can remember sitting in my office at work eating lunch, choking down a salad with only lemon juice for flavor. Ending the meal thinking, "that's it?". No thank you, not anymore.

I now use Empowered Indulgences so that I actually enjoy my each meal (because when we enjoy something, we're likely to repeat it, right?). I empower myself to consistently indulge, even if just a little bit, throughout each day which means eating many of those foods that remained untouched on the 'unapproved shelf' during my past diets. Cheese, chips, marinades, sauces, sugar in my coffee and yes, even some other sweets.

In Busy But Burnin', my 6 week fitness and fat loss coaching program for busy women (NOW OPEN for enrollment), my clients are encouraged to schedule empowered indulgences into every single day. When we don't feel deprived, we are far more likely to make it a lifestyle rather than a short term fix.

Each week at the grocery store, I load up on marinated goodies from the olive bar. Yup, they're soaked in oil - probably one I don't use at home and nope, I don't care. I top my salads with this stuff along with my homemade salad dressing and a handful of chips and I'm in salad heaven. I eat salads more regularly when they're delicious. Good enough is always better than perfect.

Tool #2: Let nothing be off limits.

Admittedly, this is scary. Especially if we are conditioned to follow black and white diets that tell us when we're being good or bad. Deep down in our hearts, we're rule followers. We love to do what we're told and our get good marks and when we do, we get the positive reinforcement to continue. When we don't, doubt trickles in and we get a bit uncomfortable with the gray area.

I often hear from women I'm about to begin coaching with questions like "Hey Jess, what am I allowed to add to my coffee?". I'll always respond with, "Whatever you do now!". When nothing is off-limits we feel less inclined to need to binge. Why? Because nothing is against the rules.

I often fixated on what I couldn't eat on whatever diet I was following. I once followed a vegan diet and I probably would have butchered a pig if I knew how, all I could think of was bacon. For all of the Moms out there...have you ever told your child not to do something and they do exactly that? :) I have and so I use a form of reverse psychology, making whatever behavior I want to limit okay. Not surprisingly, my boys move on because it's not as interesting anymore.

Tool #3: Study your triggers.

On a Saturday recently, we were out of eggs and I had made my kids some gluten-free pancakes. I'll typically have some homemade protein pancakes in the freezer but I was all out. So, I ate the boys pancakes topped with butter and a delicious pure maple syrup with a cup of berries on the side. Forty-five minutes later I was ravenously hungry and my energy had crashed. The high starch to fiber ratio did very little to satiate and control my hunger...honestly, I could have had 4 or 5 of those pancakes. Grabbing some bacon or some leftover chicken would have been key for me. Sugar is a definite trigger for me

Junk food is a big trigger food for all of us. I'm sure many people have the wherewithal to actually portion out a serving of Cheetos or serve themselves ice cream in anything other than the gallon jug it came in! On top of that, when we sit down to enjoy junk food (high sugar and fat), feel good endorphins are released which cause us to continue looking for that feeling (hungry for more!). Even if we tell ourselves not to have another bite, we're working at a deficit because as we eat sugary foods, ghrelin, a hormone that stimulates hunger and cravings becomes elevated. This double-whammy is a heavy hit against our willpower to put the bag or carton away.

Understanding the physiological affects of the foods we consume help us to make smarter choices about how and when we decide to enjoy certain foods.

Tool #4: Exercise your power in the next choice. <---where the magic happens

When we say good-bye to perfection and begin navigating life in the middle of hard core eating clean and binging like crazy, we are bound to have moments where we've made a not so stellar decision, even if done in the name of moderation. Rather than throwing our hands in the air and giving into what Kelly McGonigal calls the "What the Hell Effect", we can exercise our power in our next choice.

I like to think of my life in moderation on a 1-10 scale where 1 is bingeing and 10 is eating perfectly clean. There are periods where I'm happily living between a 5 and 8 and things are going smoothly but there are times when I've moved closer to a 2 or 3, maybe after one extra slice of pizza or an extra handful of candy.

The thing is, I'm never too far gone. I'm always one decision away to sliding back to a 4, then a 5, then a 6.

Eating perfectly, or trying to, keeps us stuck and chained in rules and requires a controlled environment that life doesn't always afford us . By practicing these mindset tools, we can begin to self-regulate, throw out the rule books and begin to have faith in our ability to enjoy food and life, all the while maintaining our health and balance.

Busy But Burnin', the fitness and fat loss coaching group for busy women, is open for enrollment and we start Monday! 6 weeks of at home metabolic workouts, simple and straight forward meal planning, with recipes, and a vibrant community of like-minded women for support and encouragement. We get confident and competent, see body change and stop fad dieting for good. You in? Grab your spot here.

There’s a ‘but’ though.
 
My plea, if are among those starting new health routines, is that you will proceed with Gentle Grit.

​No, this isn’t a term I read about in a psychology book but as a former perfectionist, disciplinarian and lifelong yo-yo dieter, it's something I discuss with my clients often. I want to share it with you in the wake of all the recently penned New Year’s Resolutions in hopes you might approach your resolution differently this year.
 
What is Gentle Grit, you ask?
 
Let’s start with Grit. Grit is defined as the perseverance and passion for a long-term goal. Those with grit are passionate about their big, hairy audacious goal and have an unrelenting hardiness and resilience to forge forward through obstacles and challenges.
 
Sounds great right? Who wouldn’t want to have grit?
 
Even if you don’t consider yourself a ‘gritty’ person, we are all familiar with that overwhelming feeling of passion towards a big goal. Likely, you felt it as the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve or when you woke up on Jan 1. The slate was wiped clean and your willpower tank was FULL.
 
But, chances are, you read the part about above “hardiness and resilience to continue on through obstacles and challenges” and you immediately discounted yourself from the ‘Has Grit’ Camp because like me, you’ve started and stopped more diets and fitness plans than you care to count. Because, life. You got pregnant, the Holidays happened, you started a new job and couldn’t find time to eat right and train, you got married and past the end goal of looking perfect on your wedding day, you got injured or you just plain ol’ self-sabotaged yourself into believing that you don't deserve to be lean or athletic. So, you stopped and waited and waited until the next time you shamed yourself enough into starting again.
 
On the flip side, you might be the poster child for Grit. You’ve got it down. You work harder and longer than those around you. You conscientiously set long-term goals and ain’t no one getting in your way. Like Will Smith, you would rather die on the treadmill than fail - 
 
“The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things — you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple…” – Will Smith
 
As someone who is naturally ‘gritty’ with strong levels of discipline and willpower, I can say that a big serving of grit can come with other unappealing sides like a lack of self-compassion and a desire for perfection, both of which, no matter how strong our resilience, can lead to an all-or-nothing mindset and a whole lot of negative self-talk.
 
Finding the sweet spot…Gentle Grit.
 
At Be PowerFULL, I believe in the power of grit. The good news is, we have complete control over developing and softening our grit so we not only achieve our goals but enjoy the process, living fully.
 
So, how do we find the sweet spot? Practice these two mindfulness mantras daily.
 
"I will win the little battles and they will make me stronger." 

Developing grit is a daily practice. Every single time you answer the call for your 5am alarm to workout, when you do ONE.MORE.REP when your muscles are aching when you say no to the muffin at the coffee shop, when you walk by the end-aisle display at CVS with the sweets, when you avoid the bread at a dinner out. Those moments when you could let yourself off the hook or dig in, those are moments where you take ownership of your path, your choices and your outcomes. In the words of Aristotle, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit”. Grit is earned, go out there and earn it.
 
"I will invite ease into my journey."

There IS rest for the weary…at least if we want to avoid burn out. A MAJOR component to performance gains and weight loss progress in the gym is stress-management. Like developing grit, inviting ease into our world is a daily practice.Programming mental and physical rest into our program like we would a workout is key; a bath, setting aside time to read, making time for prayer and meditation, as well as gentle movement like foam rolling, stretching, strolls are all wonderful ways to balance grit.  Gritting our teeth (pun intended) with no regard to our humanity and need for rest and recovery is a recipe for failure. 
 
The obvious irony in Will Smith's words above is that he may "die trying". My wish for you is that you focus on developing grit but realize that your willpower tank is yours to manage. Too much grit = burnout. Too much gentleness and ease = self-sabotage. 

To Gentle Grit,

xo - Jess

There's something important I want to tell you about eating in moderation...it feels a lot like failing. At least initially. 

This fact is probably why I stayed away from moderation for so long. I'd see people posting about moderation on my social media newsfeed and think to myself "Uh-huh, good for you" and I'd go on my merry way living my extreme lifestyle of restrict-then-binge eating. It's what I knew. It's what I was good at. For years, I would eat what I wanted, then reach the point when I became uncomfortable with my weight. It's then that I'd hit the reset button and begin eating nothing but lean meat and vegetables for what felt like months (in reality, maybe 2-3 weeks). Barley enjoying what I ate, dodging situations that might make me tempted to go off plan and basically biding my time to when I could eat like normal again.

As you can imagine, my willpower would run out eventually and I'd go to the other extreme of bingeing on everything I had restricted. No matter how guilty I felt about the 'excess' part of that cycle, what I loved was the incredible feeling I got from my 2-3 weeks of discipline. I got quick results and I felt strong and confident in my stick-to-it-tiveness. In the times when I would be eating anything and everything I wanted, I held on to this discipline as a crutch, knowing it was there to dial into when I needed it.

I had these two different personas for a long time. The one who ate salads in her office at lunch, ordered everything sans carbs and for whom people had to make special, healthy baked goods for on my Birthday or the one who ate a bags of chips and jelly beans for lunch while finishing up client proposals at my desk. There was a very long time in my life where I was these two women - no in-between. 

It was on or off, good or bad. To the point where I'd walk into a friend's house and to pre-empt my eating the pizza, I'd let people know that I was being bad that night. Seriously, what am I, 3 years old getting ready to put myself in time-out? I look back at that stuff now and laugh but it was a real cycle that had me trapped.

Here's how this relates to moderation. When we live this crash/yo-yo diet cycle which so many of us do, we become accustomed to "good" and "bad" food and choices. Everything is black or white, and when it isn't, we get a little uncomfortable. So, if have a pancake (from our bad list) we feel like we can't possibly take ourselves and our goal to lose weight seriously. And when we attempt to eat treats in moderation like a handful of chips and guacamole at a restaurant with friends, we eat them, then have a few more, and maybe a few more, until we think "Whelp, I might as well be "off" tonight and go for the burrito grande for my entree!". If those chips were usually off limits, they become a trigger for us as they represent our bad behavior persona.

Or, maybe it doesn't go that far and we order a salad for our entree instead. We did pretty well, but having some chips makes us crave a little more carbohydrates later, so we go home and have a candy bar or bowl of ice cream. Then, of course, we tell ourselves we've failed the moderation test because we 'can't just have a few' or we 'can't control our cravings', when really, we're not quite done with the science experiment yet.

See, it feels like failure the first time, the second time, over and over again until we allow ourselves the gift of introspection, of self-awareness. When we try to make a food choice in moderation but take things a little too far but THEN, we stop to reflect later on why...that's where the good stuff happens. That's the science experiment part, where we learn more about ourselves, the assessment of what tricks or tools we can use to make it go a little smoother next time. How could we better prepare for a situation like it? Was the indulgence really about food or just wanting to relax? Could we take care of ourself and relax in another way? If we eat a piece of cake at a party what can we do later to make a good choice rather than go completely off the wagon?

Sound like a lot of work? It is. Until it isn't. Each situation we feel we've failed, but we take a lesson from, makes us better and more prepared for the next. We attack it differently the next time and we get a different result. That gives us some confidence. And then when we have some wins under our belt in our moderation lifestyle, we start to take on more situations and more opportunities to test out our theories about staying on track even while eating what we love.

I was a rule follower, I wanted to know the formula to get maximum results and my ideal physique, so I hopped plan to plan to plan, looking for the one that would stick. We all do this, right? We hear of something new that worked for a few women in the office or our friend down the street and we launch into it full steam ahead with no question of, "is this right for me?".

See, eating in moderation IS right for everyone but, there is no moderation lifestyle that is the same. We vary so wildly in our tastes, triggers, motivations, lifestyle, hormones, mindset, etc. There is no moderation rulebook you can find on the shelf at Barnes & Noble or in your Amazon search that will give you the steps to become a professional at eating in moderation consistently. But, there are tricks and tools and theories and it's up each of us to sample them, keep some, toss the others and continue on our paths to building our very own strategy.

I resisted this way of living for so long because I didn't think I had it in me to become as successful with eating in moderation as I was with crash dieting. But, now, I know I can have my chips and eat them too.

To eating what we love AND reaching our goals,

Jess

Like what you've read? Enter your email here for more insights on mindset, fitness and healthy living from Jessica.

When I hit "publish" on the Be PowerFULL for Women website earlier this year, my heart was beating out of my chest. What the hell was I doing? What if I failed? What will my colleagues from my former career think? Will people follow me? Will they judge me? Will I succeed? 

All of that...totally normal. When we put ourselves out there in big ways, with things we're unsure of and aren't "in the bag", it's scary and we fear many things...the most common, what will people think? What will happen if I fail?

Much of the time, this fear of what people are going to think is what holds us back from telling people about our goals, or even conceiving of them in the first place. The fact is, to achieve big things, we need a lot of encouragement and support. I love working solo but it's the feedback I get from my peers, my mentors, my clients that keeps me going with Be PowerFULL and working to help women step into their power. But, so often we fear putting ourselves out there because we're worried that people will judge us if we don't hit our goal, if we go too slow, or if we have set-backs. 

I want you to keep a few things in mind, though: #1 About 99% of the time when you put out to the world your goal, 'your people' rise to the surface. You know, the people that will be your real support system and who truly want you to achieve the goal you've set out on, #2 People respect doers. You'll earn a hell of a lot of respect from your friends, family for putting yourself out there with your goal. And, lastly, #3 You'll take more action towards your goal when you announce it to the world. That voice that says "Maybe I can't...", "Maybe I shouldn't...", "I can skip it today...." may just be inspired knowing that you have an audience (even if it's just one person).

Here's a few more reasons why sharing our goals (and progress) makes us more likely to accomplish our goals:

It meets our need for social connection: 

We all want to be a part of something, understood by others, in the trenches side-by-side with people who share common values. When we share our goals and put ourselves out there, we tend to attract those with common interests. You know, those friends who suggest a girls

It helps to provide the positive feedback that keeps us motivated: 

Sharing our goal and progress with others helps us get feedback and praise. Like the common positive reinforcement strategy with children, this encourages us to keep going to continue to receive that positive feedback. 

It gives a greater purpose to our goal: 

When you announce your goal and share your progress, you encourage others. Though your goal may be to run a half marathon or lose 20 pounds, as you share about your journey, you affect others in your world. When you receive feedback like, "You've helped me to eat better because I see what you're doing" or "You make me want to get my shoes on and go run!" it gives further purpose to your goal beyond the tangibles.

Last but not least, sharing your goals and progress holds you accountable: 

Sharing your goal with others, having people out there who know what you're working towards, holds you accountable to taking action even when you don't want to. It's can be easy to push aside a task to another day if we think no one is watching. I don't have to write, I can skip my workout today, I can eat this cake right now because no one knows I'm trying to lose weight anyway. Tell them! Admit to yourself it's something you want...seek support and encouragement. 

I have fallen in love with proclaiming what I'm doing next. When I want to launch my next product - when I want to release a new free resource - when I want to deadlift 250 lbs. I love the fire it burns and the nudge it gives me to keep going because I know people are watching. 

I don't want you to think you have to post your 'before' picture in your bra and underwear on FB and proclaim the weight you want to lose. Sharing your goal and progress could be as simple as announcing what's going to happen to your spouse or best friend. It could be hiring a coach and committing to your goal financially with an experienced coach, someone who has your back and will give you support and resources to achieve it. Sharing your goal could be as simple as going up to someone at the gym and saying, "I want to learn how to do that!". If you think about it, dream about it, wonder if you can do it. Go ahead, announce it and take the big, scary first step. 

                                                *********************************************************************************

I'm super excited to tell you that I've opened a few slots in my private coaching program. It's 1-on-1 virtual coaching that is tailored 100% to your diet, performance and health goals. My private coaching clients receive weekly workout plans, meal plans + recipes, access to me via email and text and monthly calls/skype workouts for accountability, support and to help you say a big YES to achieving your goals once and for all. I have a few spots left and we start Jan 1. Email me now if you think this is something you're interested in or apply here. Once the limited slots are filled, I'll be closing private coaching to focus my time and resources on these select ladies.

Vacation is the perfect time to let go of all the R's; rules, restrictions, responsibilities. We work our butts off up until the vacation; finishing projects, clocking those last hours at work, shopping, packing and of course, dieting and working out like crazy so that we can feel really good about laying back and basking in the reward. For our health and physique goals, though, this can be a slippery slope.

If there's ever a time we can see the restrict-then-binge cycle play out in real-time...it's in our abrupt behavior change before vacation and then the undoing of our progress while on vacation. It's a nasty but common cycle and I hope by sharing my experience, you will become aware of how this also plays out for you.

For much of my adult life, prepping for vacation meant working out a minimum of 5 days a week for a month before. It meant eating no carbohydrates at least two weeks before. Then, the week before vacation I would go into all-in mode, really lean meats, no alcohol or sugar, boring veggies...barely any flavor to any meal. There really is nothing like the motivation of an approaching event to kick us into gear, right? We can always dig into some pretty great willpower when we're picturing ourself by the pool in our bathing suit in a few short days, or, zipping up the dress we plan to wear to the wedding next Saturday.  

Here's the problem: going all-in like this actually has the opposite effect. 

I actually see nothing wrong with tightening up my diet and adding in a few more workouts so I feel the best I can while on vacation but, it's the all-in attitude that I began to have a problem with. Because, there's only one thing that comes after all-in...you guessed it...all off. 

Once I entered vacation, the veil of restriction would slip right off. I was ready to have my reward and then some! Sugary cocktails, fried anything, sandwiches, pasta, bread, dessert...with no regard to moderation. Even if I held off to really indulge until the second or third meal, once I did, it felt SO good and so deserving that all rules went out the window. Problem is, my body would react to all that extra sodium and sugar. Maybe not right away but after a few meals, there I would be...bloated, craving more treats, tired and feeling pretty badly about myself (guilt, remorse, frustration).

So, in effort to reward and treat myself to a job well done, it turns out that mindlessly indulging on vacation was was actually having the opposite effect. Don't you notice this in your world? The first meal after dieting strictly tastes sooooo good. Then, as we continue to layer on the bad choices, we start to enjoy it less, we feel less deserving and more guilt, until the restrict part of the cycle HAS to begin again.

Isn't vacation is meant to re-charge us? Doesn't it feel awful to arrive home from vacation in worse shape than before we started our vacation prep? 

The good news is, every cycle can be broken. If you find that you fall into this restrict-then-binge cycle before vacation, you CAN do something about it and with practice, it will get easier and easier. For me, I came to realize that I also care how I feel the Monday after the wedding or social event and a few days into vacation. I started to realize that feeling restricted before vacation only enhanced my desire to leeeeeet goooo. Willpower is finite. Vacations mean loosening up. That was dangerous for me. So, I practice. I'm still practicing. And it's getting easier and easier.

I just arrived home from a week and a half vacation and I've compiled some of my tried and true strategies for you on how I now navigate vacations so I'm just as happy when I arrive home as when I left.

1) PRACTICE MODERATION BEFORE VACATION: 

​I actually ate PIZZA two nights before vacation. That's unheard of for me! The difference now is that I practice trusting myself...that one meal doesn't need to derail me. If I stick to my workouts and don't layer treat on treat on treat, I can enjoy the foods I love in moderation. Enjoy a glass of wine at night, have a piece of chocolate, have cheese on your salads, don't worry about a little sugar in your coffee. Don't restrict so much you feel like you have to go off the rails while on vacation. I call these mindful indulgences. They are little treats I build into my diet, even when I'm tightening things up a bit, so I feel satisfied, not deprived.
​

2) BE PREPARED WITH SNACKS: 

We just went on vacation where we packed and unpacked several different times, staying in two different homes and a resort, with lots of car trips in between. We stocked up on snacks that don't require refrigeration and we could keep in our suitcases and carry-on bags...protein bars, fruit, trail mix, protein powder, beef jerky (fruit/veggie pureed packets, granola bars, pretzels, etc. for kids) are all great options. I always used to stop snacking on vacation because I was saving room for meals out...I'm here to tell you, that's dangerous. Snack like usual and allow yourself the ability to control your hunger and cravings. Not every meal out needs to be many courses. A simple salad with local flavors to where you're traveling can be super good. ​

​
​3) BRING FOOD OR SHOP AT YOUR DESTINATION: 

​If you're staying in someone's home, this can be tricky. I've never wanted to offend anyone by bringing my kitchen into their home, especially because our friends and family want to host us...not have us cook our own food in their kitchen. At a minimum, re-stock snacks at a local store and make sure you have fresh fruit and cut veggies to snack on and lettuce on hand for salads if you'll be eating in. I've gone through many diet phases {non-dairy, no-caffeine, carb-fearing} and my in-laws have weathered them all. Ask for what you need from your hosts and never feel like you need to eat something to not hurt someone's feelings. 

7) WAIT UNTIL LATER IN THE DAY TO INDULGE: 

​This isn't the typical advice you'd hear from a health coach because sure, we have less opportunity to burn off calories consumed later in the day. But, my goal is to maintain weight on vacation, not lose - so, waiting until later in the day to indulge is a key trick for me. This doesn't mean you shouldn't eat all day or not like what you eat all day...it means not every meal from sunset to sundown needs to be mind-blowing indulgent. For me, I find when I indulge at breakfast, my appetite (and mindset) is affected and I tend to make more 'off' decisions during the day. If I keep the reigns in a bit, that meal I chose to indulge on later tastes really great.

8) START THE DAY WITH A WORKOUT: 

Whether your vacation is a lay by the pool kind of vibe or a sight-seeing, packed itinerary...it's easy to let the day get away from you. I don't know about you but getting up the motivation to workout after a full day on my feet or after a margarita by the pool...It just 'aint happening! So, get up...get out and workout first thing. Either do sprints in the parking lot, do a bodyweight circuit on the beach, find a gym to do some quick weight work or go for a run. ​

9) LISTEN TO YOURSELF: 

​We can get wrapped up in enjoying the hell out of every moment on vacation that we don't think "Will I feel good after I eat this?". Don't forget to listen to that voice that knows better. There are really satisfying, well-worth-it treats and those that are just ok...don't waste indulgence on something that's not even all that great. Moving on!

As a trainer and health coach, my job is to help my clients achieve their goals in the midst of their busy lives. I work exclusively with women, helping them to find time to train consistently among their careers, social calendars, parenting and home responsibilities. More often than not, even with dual-income families, these women tend to be the primary-care givers and CEO's of their homes. Which means, stuff pops up, Mom to the rescue...at the expense of herself.

I am a wife, mom, business owner and former corporate career woman so I know the challenge that these time-starved women have - they want to workout consistently but simply can't find the time. It can often feel like an uphill battle to carve out space in our calendar for our workouts and even when we do, that one little hiccup like a sick child or a new project at work, even a home project gone wrong, can cause that space to fill and we're left pushing off our goals.

This is why time and time again, I recommend efficient exercise.

In fact, efficient exercise is what my 6-Weeks to a Fat-Loss Lifestyle for Busy Women program is built on. Six weeks of short, intense workouts to get the maximum results in the least amount of time. I believe so strongly in this form of training that for the past 5 years it's almost exclusively what I have used in my own fitness. I was introduced to this type of training by the team at Metabolic Effect. For years, I worked out with their DVD's and later, became inspired to design my own metabolic workouts. 

My clients often tell me that they just don't get it, they signed up for an expensive trainer, they committed to an annual membership at a high-end gym, but they still couldn't remain accountable to their workouts. They did great the first few weeks, they never missed a session. But then, slowly but surely, things came up...they missed one, then two, then three sessions a week. Then, eating healthy started to wane and back in the rut they went. And so it goes with yo-yo dieting.

Has this happened to you? You see that monthly gym membership fee coming out of your account and wonder when the hell you'll be back? What if you could miss the gym, maybe never even touch a piece of equipment but still stay on track to reaching your goals?

Enter metabolic circuits.

Metabolic conditioning is the most efficient form of exercise for those interested in fat-loss - especially those with demanding lives who struggle to maintain consistency. Because metabolic circuits often utilize full-body multiple joint, multiple muscle group exercises like a squat press or a burpees, you get the biggest bang for your buck with the amount of time put in. Plus, you send your body into fat-burning mode far more effectively with the release of testosterone and human growth hormone in addition to the cortisol release that occurs from most exercise.

But, let's take this one step further. 
--->Warning: I'm about to tell you that you're never really off the hook for being able to fit in a workout. 

It's one thing to know the best way to workout for maximum results but another to actually fit it in your crazy life.

While the metabolic circuits that I've done for years using dumbbells (and even the Lift Weights Faster circuits I've gleaned from Jen Sinkler's fabulous program using a whole host of gym equipment) are amazing, it's the on-the-fly bodyweight workouts I can think up in a few seconds that really do it for me when I'm really low on time. And I mean, I-have-5-more-minutes-until-dinner-is-done-cooking-and the-kids-are-finally-playing-quietly kind of 'on the fly'.

Bodyweight metabolic circuits are workouts that you can do in your living room, on a field near your kid's soccer game, in a parking lot between meetings, in your kitchen...you get the point. You can do them for 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes. You choose your circuit of exercises (anywhere between 2-5), choose the # of reps per exercise, and you work your butt off intensely for how ever many rounds or minutes you've committed to, resting only when you need to. Simple as that. You don't need a spreadsheet, a plan, a DVD or iron in any form to do them.

See, one of the biggest reasons we don't get to our workout in, in the face of stress, is that we simply don't have the mental bandwidth to plan one.more.damn.thing! We just have to move and move intensely, for even just a few minutes in order to kick our mind and body into gear.

​Some days, the best I can manage is two, 5-minute circuits and you know what? Bonus! I could have done nothing.

Building your circuit.

Don't overthink it but consider mixing up movements so as not to over-stress one joint or muscle group. For example, chose squat jumps (primarily leg focused), followed by push-ups (chest, shoulder focus), then move onto a core exercise like plank or v-sits, followed by some hip thrusts to work the glutes. Do the same amount of reps per exercise, one exercise after the other, for as many rounds as you can in the given timeframe, resting only when you need to.

These are so versatile, in fact, that you can do them in a hotel room or even in your bathroom (see my recent FB post here where I talk about escaping from my kids to my bathroom for a quick fat-burning circuit!). 

Get inspired! Find ways to move intensely in your busy schedule. If you're a mom and on the playground circuit like I am, make sure to look out for my playground workouts coming soon!

-Jess

PS - I regularly send out metabolic workouts to my inner circle. Enter your name here to get workouts right to your inbox! You'll get a bonus 7-Day Meal + Fitness Power-Up right away just for joining.

Being stuck in a rut is quite possibly the most frustrating experience in life. We feel helpless and out of control but we know we want more...to be happier, feel more productive and have more success. It's human nature but we can't help but imagine this perfect scenario where we are everything we know we are not today. So we sit, pen to paper, and construct our plan of attack.

The only problem is, we are self-sabotaging ourselves time and time again. Because, we not only are we trying to climb out of a rut, we are trying to scale a mountain at the same time.

---Our lack of discipline is not the problem, it's our need to change everything all at once.---

Here's an example of how I used to try to get myself out of a rut at work:
​I'd march myself down to Office Max or Staples and buy myself a new planner, new colorful sticky note tabs and a brand new set of thin multi-color sharpies (how awesome are those things?!). I'd come up with a fantastically organized system for how I would manage my time, write my meeting notes and document my to-do list from now on. I'd labor over writing with my very best penmanship and agonize over how best to organize and file each and every necessary piece of information in my office. I'd build a list of 23 new action items that I would execute daily, from now on, to be a more organized, more productive and a more creative leader. One in particular (which I still love) was to leave 10 minutes in between meetings to compile my thoughts, take notes and plan my follow-up. 

Of course, you know what happened after my grand organization scheme, right? One day, I would find myself in a meeting with a client, without my teal client notepad (gasp!) and in effort to not miss important information, I'd scribble wherever I could in that beautiful, perfectly organized planner. Or, a meeting would go long, I'd have to rush right into another and I'd miss my 10 recap time. On and on it went and my list of action items became harder and harder to make stick. See, none of the action steps were bad in concept but I was asking way too much of myself and my time to be able to focus on them all at once.

We all do this, right? Think back to the last new year's resolution you made. Perhaps it was just one resolution but very likely, there were dozens of action steps built into it. I'm going to lose 20 lbs. by never touching sweets again, going to the gym 4x/week, never, ever taking an elevator, walking every morning at 5am, cooking from scratch each night of the week, getting a personal trainer, starting each day with 5 minutes of meditation, doing yoga each night as I watch TV and avoiding the snack room at work at all costs.

--> When will we stop creating these unrealistic expectations?

I don't blame us, actually. When we are stuck in a rut we feel uncomfortable, alone, helpless. So, when we finally get motivated to create change, we want it NOW. We want it to be big, impactful, immediate and we not only want out of the rut, we want to be standing fists victoriously pumped as we stand on top of our mountain of accomplishments.

JUST STOP.

You know the definition of insanity, right? Doing the same thing time and time again expecting a different result? Stop the self-sabotage and consider that you do not lack the discipline to change, you're just trying to conquer way too many things at once. 

So, come on. Do something. Do one small thing right now. Then, do it again tomorrow and the next day. Keep your head down, keep doing it and TRUST.

Trust that your discipline with this one action will get you out of the rut once and for all.

"Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well the big ones tend to take care of themselves". - Dale Carnegie 

Want to receive more insights on healthy living from me directly to your inbox? Sign up here.

Are you feeling a bit disconnected from your goals? Do a quick motivation SCAN here to see what's missing. 

Motivation, why do you elude us so? There's a reason why there are countless books, articles and essays written on the topic…motivation is HARD and extremely complicated. As humans, we are exposed to so many messages, influences and temptation throughout our day...there's no wonder why staying motivated is really difficult. As Marshall Goldsmith write in his book Triggers, he says "We not only overestimate {our willpower}, we chronically underestimate the power of triggers in our environment that lead us astray. Our environment is a magnificent willpower-reduction machine".

Personally, I never really understood how I could be so overcome with motivation and willpower on Sunday evening or Monday morning but then by Wednesday, could feel so disconnected from the positivity that once was. A mere 72 hours passed and I could barely call into mind the willpower I once had for the goal at hand; whether it was to keep my diet clean, get to the gym everyday or create a new routine at work.

One trick I tried to elicit those feelings of willpower and motivation, once disconnected, was to read a note I had written to myself for those exact moments.

Here's this playing out: I was a yo-yo dieter for much of my life. I've always been an athlete and fit for the most part, but my weight fluctuated often. I would eat clean for a week or two then cheat like crazy…and the cycle would continue. It was a roller coaster of high-high's - through the roof motivation and low-lows - "eff it!" attitude. So, I thought, "I'll write a note to my unmotivated self from the strong and motivated self, telling the weaker woman how to shift my perspective. This will be perfect, how could I not listen to MYSELF?".

But, do you know what happened when I was faced with temptation and the thought popped into my head to read the motivational note? I DIDN'T READ IT. 

I knew it was there and frankly, I didn't want the pep talk. Kind of like when you tell your spouse or best friend to remind you that you don't want to eat a second piece of cake the next time cake is around. What happens when they remind you of your earlier intentions? You're pissed, right?! (My relationship advice: don't do that!)

I was setting myself up to fail because this tactic could only work if the weaker willpower me, sitting in the moment of temptation, was open to a pep talk. And for me, that was impossible because I was already exhausted from trying to do too much at once; remember to eat breakfast every day, remember my snacks, eat a big salad for lunch, avoid the baked goods at work, get to the gym every day, plan a healthy meal for dinner so I don't get take-out, don't eat anything from the kids plate at dinner and lastly, avoid the chips before bed.

Which brings me to the first step in the motivation scan.

Is your goal SIMPLE?

Any motivation expert will say that having a vision for our goal is one thing but identifying actions that will get us to the goal is the key. It's the accountability piece which keeps us on track. But, I believe this is also an area where we can immediately set ourselves up to fail. Because, it's really hard to stay motivated to do a dozen things, even a handful of things, at once. 

While there may be a dozen, even two dozen things we can do to achieve fat-loss, do we really need to focus on them all? Can we? How can we expect to implement them all if we are currently doing NONE of them?

Simplify. Losing 15 pounds might be the goal but select the one or two things you can focus on that will make the BIGGEST impact. That might look like strength training 3x/week and choosing protein + fiber first in your meals. Is it critical to avoid carbs completely, stress out over having breakfast every day and take cream out of your coffee. No.


Are you CONSISTENT?

If the action steps behind the goal aren't simple, it's likely that consistency will be an uphill battle. We lead busy and time-starved lives and the worst thing we can do is cloud a positive goal with more to-do's that drain us.

One of the best ways to get around this is to start with the top two things we selected that will make the biggest impact and create a personal mantra for them. Stick with me here, this isn't as woo-woo as it may seem, it's about creating a repeatable statement that resonates with us and gives us purpose and meaning behind our action steps.

For example; imagine my goal is to lose 15 pounds but I know that I'm not getting the rest my body needs, I'm running on empty. Lack of sleep and the nonexistence of stress-relieving activities like walking and gentle yoga are keeping my stress level high, making it impossible for my body to burn fat. If my action steps are to go to sleep by 10pm and do restorative movement like yoga once a week + walking for 60 minutes twice a week, my personal mantra might be… "I make space for relaxation."

Since I know that constantly doing more keeps me too busy for the restorative action I need, this mantra would give my wanted action purpose and help me to let go of the need for hyper-productivity. Note that this is different than those long motivational notes I would write to myself for times of weakness. Those messages often came too late, I was already exhausted and my willpower was low. A mantra is a statement of purpose we use from the moment we wake-up, it fuels our action towards our goal instead of just lighting a spark when we need it.


Do you ACCEPT set-backs?

I have found, through all my fitness and diet quests, that the moment I break the "perfect run", is the moment motivation starts to wane. We are so attracted to the ideal of perfect execution that we let set-backs keep us from achieving what will make us happy. If the goal was to strength train 3x a week and we miss a week due to a cold…can we accept the detour and move on towards our goal anyway? Sure, it doesn't feel great. We might not be able to perform where we were before the week-long break but resilience and acceptance of life getting in the way is critical.

Part of this is acceptance that we have power in our next decision. This also takes acceptance of our humanity, imperfections and of course, our power to turn it around. One thing I like to ask myself when I have a set-back and I am feeling unmotivated to start back up is "How would you feel if you didn't continue doing this?". The answer is usually that I'd be disappointed and unhappy. So, even though it's tough to hop back on the horse…I do it. And it inevitably gets easier again.

A very important belief I talk about at Be PowerFULL is that every little bit counts. I actually look forward to set-backs and mistakes because coming back from them quickly is a skill that only gets better and better with practice.

Is there NOVELTY involved?

One of the best ways to attach your goal to a greater purpose, which inherently increases motivation because it's something close to your heart, is to learn something new that feeds your goal. Now, this is different than program hopping. Program hopping is going Atkins to juice diets to South Beach. Adding novelty to your goal of losing 15 pounds might be to become more than just an amateur with Kettlebell swings or to add Deadlifting into your fitness.

I was talking to a client recently who literally happened upon an advanced HIIT class at her local gym. Her normally scheduled class had been canceled so a trainer asked her if she'd like to join the class next door that was just getting started. This woman said that from the moment she walked in she felt out of place and she struggled through the class, trying not to look like a total amateur. There was a lot of negative self-talk involved and she couldn't help but think she was completely out of her league. But, something shifted at some point as she watched the other women and she left the class wondering if she could do do push-ups and pull-ups too. She got over her fear and checked the schedule to sign up for the next one.

Training with new equipment, new people and new moves give us the opportunity to expand our confidence, connections and joy as we continue on our journey towards the goal. The journey then becomes a little less about losing 15 pounds and a little more about learning that new skill.


Running your goal through this SCAN will help you to identify what could be misaligned with your goal setting, leaving you vulnerable to low motivation. Be sure that you're setting yourself up to win and not leaving your motivation to chance! 

I'm excited to announce that the Be PowerFULL 6-Weeks to a Fat-Loss Lifestyle for Busy Women is now OPEN FOR REGISTRATION! If you want to stop dieting and program hopping and start to build a new way of living every single day that supports fat-loss, please consider joining us. You'll learn how to shop, cook and eat for fat-loss, how to exercise to burn fat (not store it) and how to mentally get out of your own way and step into your power. You will walk away knowing how to #findyourpulse for how you will sustain this way of life forever. You'll also be doing this with a community of women who have the same struggles and goals. I've developed this program after a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and fitness hopping and I want you to know that you can #liveinthemiddle of restrictive diets and indulgence. For more info, GO HERE.