Are you feeling a bit disconnected from your goals? Do a quick motivation SCAN here to see what's missing.
Motivation, why do you elude us so? There's a reason why there are countless books, articles and essays written on the topic…motivation is HARD and extremely complicated. As humans, we are exposed to so many messages, influences and temptation throughout our day...there's no wonder why staying motivated is really difficult. As Marshall Goldsmith write in his book Triggers, he says "We not only overestimate {our willpower}, we chronically underestimate the power of triggers in our environment that lead us astray. Our environment is a magnificent willpower-reduction machine".
Personally, I never really understood how I could be so overcome with motivation and willpower on Sunday evening or Monday morning but then by Wednesday, could feel so disconnected from the positivity that once was. A mere 72 hours passed and I could barely call into mind the willpower I once had for the goal at hand; whether it was to keep my diet clean, get to the gym everyday or create a new routine at work.
One trick I tried to elicit those feelings of willpower and motivation, once disconnected, was to read a note I had written to myself for those exact moments.
Here's this playing out: I was a yo-yo dieter for much of my life. I've always been an athlete and fit for the most part, but my weight fluctuated often. I would eat clean for a week or two then cheat like crazy…and the cycle would continue. It was a roller coaster of high-high's - through the roof motivation and low-lows - "eff it!" attitude. So, I thought, "I'll write a note to my unmotivated self from the strong and motivated self, telling the weaker woman how to shift my perspective. This will be perfect, how could I not listen to MYSELF?".
But, do you know what happened when I was faced with temptation and the thought popped into my head to read the motivational note? I DIDN'T READ IT.
I knew it was there and frankly, I didn't want the pep talk. Kind of like when you tell your spouse or best friend to remind you that you don't want to eat a second piece of cake the next time cake is around. What happens when they remind you of your earlier intentions? You're pissed, right?! (My relationship advice: don't do that!)
I was setting myself up to fail because this tactic could only work if the weaker willpower me, sitting in the moment of temptation, was open to a pep talk. And for me, that was impossible because I was already exhausted from trying to do too much at once; remember to eat breakfast every day, remember my snacks, eat a big salad for lunch, avoid the baked goods at work, get to the gym every day, plan a healthy meal for dinner so I don't get take-out, don't eat anything from the kids plate at dinner and lastly, avoid the chips before bed.
Which brings me to the first step in the motivation scan.
Motivation, why do you elude us so? There's a reason why there are countless books, articles and essays written on the topic…motivation is HARD and extremely complicated. As humans, we are exposed to so many messages, influences and temptation throughout our day...there's no wonder why staying motivated is really difficult. As Marshall Goldsmith write in his book Triggers, he says "We not only overestimate {our willpower}, we chronically underestimate the power of triggers in our environment that lead us astray. Our environment is a magnificent willpower-reduction machine".
Personally, I never really understood how I could be so overcome with motivation and willpower on Sunday evening or Monday morning but then by Wednesday, could feel so disconnected from the positivity that once was. A mere 72 hours passed and I could barely call into mind the willpower I once had for the goal at hand; whether it was to keep my diet clean, get to the gym everyday or create a new routine at work.
One trick I tried to elicit those feelings of willpower and motivation, once disconnected, was to read a note I had written to myself for those exact moments.
Here's this playing out: I was a yo-yo dieter for much of my life. I've always been an athlete and fit for the most part, but my weight fluctuated often. I would eat clean for a week or two then cheat like crazy…and the cycle would continue. It was a roller coaster of high-high's - through the roof motivation and low-lows - "eff it!" attitude. So, I thought, "I'll write a note to my unmotivated self from the strong and motivated self, telling the weaker woman how to shift my perspective. This will be perfect, how could I not listen to MYSELF?".
But, do you know what happened when I was faced with temptation and the thought popped into my head to read the motivational note? I DIDN'T READ IT.
I knew it was there and frankly, I didn't want the pep talk. Kind of like when you tell your spouse or best friend to remind you that you don't want to eat a second piece of cake the next time cake is around. What happens when they remind you of your earlier intentions? You're pissed, right?! (My relationship advice: don't do that!)
I was setting myself up to fail because this tactic could only work if the weaker willpower me, sitting in the moment of temptation, was open to a pep talk. And for me, that was impossible because I was already exhausted from trying to do too much at once; remember to eat breakfast every day, remember my snacks, eat a big salad for lunch, avoid the baked goods at work, get to the gym every day, plan a healthy meal for dinner so I don't get take-out, don't eat anything from the kids plate at dinner and lastly, avoid the chips before bed.
Which brings me to the first step in the motivation scan.
Is your goal SIMPLE?
Any motivation expert will say that having a vision for our goal is one thing but identifying actions that will get us to the goal is the key. It's the accountability piece which keeps us on track. But, I believe this is also an area where we can immediately set ourselves up to fail. Because, it's really hard to stay motivated to do a dozen things, even a handful of things, at once.
While there may be a dozen, even two dozen things we can do to achieve fat-loss, do we really need to focus on them all? Can we? How can we expect to implement them all if we are currently doing NONE of them?
Simplify. Losing 15 pounds might be the goal but select the one or two things you can focus on that will make the BIGGEST impact. That might look like strength training 3x/week and choosing protein + fiber first in your meals. Is it critical to avoid carbs completely, stress out over having breakfast every day and take cream out of your coffee. No.
Are you CONSISTENT?
If the action steps behind the goal aren't simple, it's likely that consistency will be an uphill battle. We lead busy and time-starved lives and the worst thing we can do is cloud a positive goal with more to-do's that drain us.
One of the best ways to get around this is to start with the top two things we selected that will make the biggest impact and create a personal mantra for them. Stick with me here, this isn't as woo-woo as it may seem, it's about creating a repeatable statement that resonates with us and gives us purpose and meaning behind our action steps.
For example; imagine my goal is to lose 15 pounds but I know that I'm not getting the rest my body needs, I'm running on empty. Lack of sleep and the nonexistence of stress-relieving activities like walking and gentle yoga are keeping my stress level high, making it impossible for my body to burn fat. If my action steps are to go to sleep by 10pm and do restorative movement like yoga once a week + walking for 60 minutes twice a week, my personal mantra might be… "I make space for relaxation."
Since I know that constantly doing more keeps me too busy for the restorative action I need, this mantra would give my wanted action purpose and help me to let go of the need for hyper-productivity. Note that this is different than those long motivational notes I would write to myself for times of weakness. Those messages often came too late, I was already exhausted and my willpower was low. A mantra is a statement of purpose we use from the moment we wake-up, it fuels our action towards our goal instead of just lighting a spark when we need it.
Do you ACCEPT set-backs?
I have found, through all my fitness and diet quests, that the moment I break the "perfect run", is the moment motivation starts to wane. We are so attracted to the ideal of perfect execution that we let set-backs keep us from achieving what will make us happy. If the goal was to strength train 3x a week and we miss a week due to a cold…can we accept the detour and move on towards our goal anyway? Sure, it doesn't feel great. We might not be able to perform where we were before the week-long break but resilience and acceptance of life getting in the way is critical.
Part of this is acceptance that we have power in our next decision. This also takes acceptance of our humanity, imperfections and of course, our power to turn it around. One thing I like to ask myself when I have a set-back and I am feeling unmotivated to start back up is "How would you feel if you didn't continue doing this?". The answer is usually that I'd be disappointed and unhappy. So, even though it's tough to hop back on the horse…I do it. And it inevitably gets easier again.
A very important belief I talk about at Be PowerFULL is that every little bit counts. I actually look forward to set-backs and mistakes because coming back from them quickly is a skill that only gets better and better with practice.
Is there NOVELTY involved?
One of the best ways to attach your goal to a greater purpose, which inherently increases motivation because it's something close to your heart, is to learn something new that feeds your goal. Now, this is different than program hopping. Program hopping is going Atkins to juice diets to South Beach. Adding novelty to your goal of losing 15 pounds might be to become more than just an amateur with Kettlebell swings or to add Deadlifting into your fitness.
I was talking to a client recently who literally happened upon an advanced HIIT class at her local gym. Her normally scheduled class had been canceled so a trainer asked her if she'd like to join the class next door that was just getting started. This woman said that from the moment she walked in she felt out of place and she struggled through the class, trying not to look like a total amateur. There was a lot of negative self-talk involved and she couldn't help but think she was completely out of her league. But, something shifted at some point as she watched the other women and she left the class wondering if she could do do push-ups and pull-ups too. She got over her fear and checked the schedule to sign up for the next one.
Training with new equipment, new people and new moves give us the opportunity to expand our confidence, connections and joy as we continue on our journey towards the goal. The journey then becomes a little less about losing 15 pounds and a little more about learning that new skill.
Running your goal through this SCAN will help you to identify what could be misaligned with your goal setting, leaving you vulnerable to low motivation. Be sure that you're setting yourself up to win and not leaving your motivation to chance!
I'm excited to announce that the Be PowerFULL 6-Weeks to a Fat-Loss Lifestyle for Busy Women is now OPEN FOR REGISTRATION! If you want to stop dieting and program hopping and start to build a new way of living every single day that supports fat-loss, please consider joining us. You'll learn how to shop, cook and eat for fat-loss, how to exercise to burn fat (not store it) and how to mentally get out of your own way and step into your power. You will walk away knowing how to #findyourpulse for how you will sustain this way of life forever. You'll also be doing this with a community of women who have the same struggles and goals. I've developed this program after a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and fitness hopping and I want you to know that you can #liveinthemiddle of restrictive diets and indulgence. For more info, GO HERE.
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