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HOW TO MOVE PAST MISTAKES.

10/25/2017

1 Comment

 
Working with women on their health every single day, it doesn't strike me that we have a problem admitting to the mistakes we make. Not in the least bit, actually. But, what we DO have a problem with is making those mistakes useful.

What I mean by that is that we are often first in line to report where we messed up but we're not always willing to transmit that mistake into positive action in our lives. Making us better, rather than wallowing in the circumstances and regret around what's gone down. Note: I'm not talking about bullying ourselves into action, I'm talking about uncovering what the mistake represents.

I was recently listening to a "Sunday Sermon" from Elizabeth Dialto's "Untame The Wild Soul" Podcast. In this particular episode, Elizabeth discussed when anger can be holy versus destructive. When we do the work to make sure our anger is holy, not destructive, Elizabeth says "we [are] observ[ing] it, feeling it all the way through. Transmut[ing] it [into] beautiful expression. Travel[ing] it as a bridge to our pain and ultimately, releas[ing] and rebuild[ing] what has been lost, violated or tainted. Anger is holy when we know how to treat it".


This is also true with our mistakes.

Often, when we've made a mistake and we've acted in a way that either doesn't serve us our loved ones or align what we want for ourselves, we can feel pain in the form of regret and shame. And, holding on to that pain, can hold us in a quicksand of inaction. If we stay there, I fear, we give over to self-loathing and we slowly begin to start concocting more stories about why that mistake perfectly represents us. How it defines us.

I'm not talking in code, by the way. This exact situation has come up for me recently.

Last Saturday, I brought my son to the soccer field 
where all the small kids in town gather to play on Saturday mornings. Ben was resistant to soccer sign-up from the start, only interested in acquiring the equipment but super hesitant about actually meeting the coach and getting out on the field. He's a brave soul, but careful, and has always been slow to jump into new situations. Sometimes, I feel that if I get him to try something, he'll love it and all the nerves will wash away. But, other times, if it's not his idea or if he feels forced, he'll put that wall up real fast.

​Me, on the other hand, I like things to go the way I've planned and when they don't and I have to flex my go with the flow mom muscles, I get real uncomfortable. This, for me, is a work in progress. If I'm stressed about other things and then kid resistance comes on, watch out! Long story short, I'm really bummed about how I reacted to Ben's nerves around soccer. I made him go to the field, watch the other kids and stuck to my guns for far too long when really, I should have listened to how he was feeling. This wasn't a time for a lesson in following through on our commitments or trying something because we may have a lot of fun. His idea of fun on his Saturday morning was NOT being out on the soccer field. It's also not lost on me that he didn't want to sign up for this anyway so a lesson in following through is a bit disconnected here. Also, he's 5. So.

Introspection though, is my jam. I've done a lot of work since Saturday to unpack what was going on for me that morning. A call to a confidant who could tell it like it is (my sister), made me realize how I misstepped and that ultimately, Ben needed my compassion and not a push to get out on that field. As I replayed how things went down, I was FULL of regret. How could I have missed this opportunity to support him? In my introspection, as Elizabeth Dialto mentioned, I traveled the bridge to the pain that I was feeling from not being the Mom Ben needed then and I worked to explore why I felt so personally triggered by his resistance to follow through with the plans.

I don't know, maybe I felt a lack of control that morning with the boys? Maybe I was worried about Ben never liking soccer and not becoming Norwell's next soccer star (eye roll). Maybe I was wishing it was just easier to arrive and have him run off happily like some of the other kids do (the parenting comparison trap is real, yo). Maybe I worried that I'm a trainer, and obviously he needs to like all sports, right? (cue another eye roll)

​Here's what I could have done. I could have felt regret for not being tender enough with Ben and layered on another story about how my temper always get the best of me. "'I'm just fiery, I can't help it", I could say. Obviously, this gives me no tools to not recreate this type of situation again. I also could have labeled Ben a resistant child or a kid that doesn't like new things, ever. And that would suck because he needs freedom and room to grow and the ability to be his authentic self in any situation, without labels.

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I decided to focus on repair. I sat with how the way I reacted might have felt for him. Then I apologized to Ben and said how sorry I was for forcing him to go. I told him he's welcome to play, but whenever he feels ready...if he feels ready. In just a few short days, we found a new activity for him to enjoy...tumbling. I approached it completely differently and after a small transition time, he went off with the coaches and had an absolute BLAST.

In many coaching situations, my clients are exploring past mistakes they've made around their health. They've gotten into poor patterns with their nutrition and inactivity and they've built up stories that they're just not someone that can become in shape or choose healthful foods that nurture their bodies with consistency. They've taken on the identity from their mistakes and in doing so, have lost their will to try to become a person who actively chooses a healthy lifestyle.

When we feel that we've been telling ourselves those same old stories, built from past mistakes we've made, we need to know that we have an opportunity to reclaim how we want to move forward. We don't need to stay in that place of shame, regret and dissonance. 

I love the visualization Elizabeth describes when talking about traveling our anger like a bridge, feeling it wholly, then actively doing something about it. Can we also do this with our mistakes? I think so. The mistakes are done. Now, how can they become holy and not destructive?

​Your move.

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PERFECT HARD-BAKED EGGS.

10/20/2017

1 Comment

 
If we're working on sticking to a diet that supports fat-loss, protein is undoubtedly on our minds. 

Why protein? It makes us feel fuller quicker during our meals and because it's metabolized slower, protein keeps us fuller for longer between meals. Think about the last time you had a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast versus a veggie omelet, chances are the omelet kept you fuller for longer and kept you out of the break room looking for your next sugary treat (leftover muffins from that last meeting, anyone?).

Hard boiled eggs are my favorite source of protein to snack on during the week. So much so, that I prepare a dozen at the start of every week.

But, I used to fumble around a lot with how long I needed to boil them to get them just right and make them easy to peel.


Do I put vinegar in the water or not?
Should I boil the water first, THEN place the eggs or...
Start the eggs IN the water before turning on the burner?


Not to mention the fact that once in the water, one of my kids would have a meltdown and I'd forget that something was on the stove! 😤 After having water boil over on my stove one too many times while I was upstairs with a child, I opted to try to bake my eggs and I've never turned back.

Here's how you do it...

1. Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. 

2. Place raw eggs gently into a 12-cup muffin pan, one per slot.
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3. Bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees F.

4. Prepare an ice bath for the eggs. Simply fill a large mixing bowl with water and ice and get ready on the counter.

5. Remove eggs from the oven. Note: it's normal to see tiny brown spots appear on the shells around when the yolk is cooked through - if you like softer yolks, pull out of the oven sooner.
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5. Using tongs, plunge one egg at a time gently into the ice bath and cool thoroughly 5-10 minutes.
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6. Remove eggs one by one and peel. Technique tip: I like to turn the egg on it's side (the opposite way you would stand it straight up to serve Deviled Eggs) and tap hard against the counter right in the middle of the egg. Turn and tap keep tapping along that middle section. Shell should peel right off as you pull from the middle section towards the top and bottom of the egg.
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7. Store peeled eggs in a glass container in the refrigerator. I like to line the container with paper towels and lay eggs in after peeling (or pack individually or in pairs if you plan to take out on the road).

A medium egg has about 6 grams of protein. As a snack, I'll usually have two hard-baked eggs with an apple or handful of berries. Don't forget to halve and sprinkle with pink himalayan salt before eating - it's so good!


​Enjoy and let me know how it goes!

xo - Jess
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ATTN: PUMPKIN LOVERS. HERE'S A PROTEIN SMOOTHIE YOU CAN'T MISS!

10/16/2017

4 Comments

 
How long does organic pumpkin puree last in the pantry? Because, I think this one has been on board for a while! It possibly even made the move from the city to the suburbs with us a few years ago? That said, I wanted to give my ladies in Connect + Be PowerFULL, my online coaching club, a taste of the season in their protein smoothie practice and this recipe worked really well.

Note: If you're opening a can of pumpkin puree to make this like I did, spoon the unused portion into an ice cube tray and freeze so you can use again before the Fall is over. I may even try to mix this with nutmeg after Thanksgiving. 

FALL-ING FOR PUMPKIN + POTATO SMOOTHIE 🍁
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In a blender combine:
1 Tbsp. Organic Pumpkin Puree
1/2 Small Sweet Potato (already baked with skin on - I took mine right from the fridge)
1/2 Scoop Vega Vanilla Protein Powder
1 c. Hemp or Unflavored Almond Milk
4 Ice Cubes
1-2 oz. Water

Blend well and after pouring into glass, top with a sprinkle of cinnamon. The protein and starch in this smoothie makes for a great post-workout refuel! Enjoy!
4 Comments

HOW TO CRUSH A WORKOUT BY YOURSELF.

10/7/2017

1 Comment

 
When I have to cancel class in my gym, I always post a workout of the day online for my community to work on at home. I'll almost always hear this: "But Jess, I know I can't get as good of a workout at home because I can't push myself on my own!"

Have you ever said something like this?

I wonder if it's really true though. While a gym environment loaded with external motivation of peers and coaches CAN elicit a killer workout, I think we underestimate how much determination we really have. And while I know that some of us are born with an insane desire to achieve and that discipline comes easy, I believe we are all hardwired to want to work hard in our fitness.

Think about the last time you walked around saying how sore you were from the workout you did two days prior. Weren't you proud as hell for what you were able to accomplish? Weren't you thrilled about how hard you worked? What if you could generate this pride completely on your own, on-demand?


We may not be giving ourselves credit for our inherent mental strength.

It's not so much the physical work that might scare us but our lack of confidence in our mental fortitude to push through when the rubber meets the road and no one is watching. We wonder if we have that bit of grit that helps that helps us fight through discomfort instead of stopping right at the first sign of it.


We need not be an athlete or competitor to deserve or complete a hard, gritty workout.

You are fit right now, not in six months once you've run a half marathon. If you're like a bunch of the women I begin working with, you think in absolutes - you're either super fit and adorning a six pack or lazy AF and out of shape. But, come on, there's a lot of in between, right? You may not work out as much as you'd currently like but you're likely much more active than you think!

Walking the dog several times a day, going on weekend hikes with the family, picking up and putting down your kids all day long, hitting the pavement for a jog when the inspiration strikes you...you're an active woman!

Now, I know you might not be crushing crossfit workouts, running marathons and doing tough mudders every weekend but you're more ready than you think to dial into a gritty workout like a short, intense (for you) metabolic conditioning circuit.


So, what are metabolic workouts?

They're a bit different than a smooth and steady cardio session on the elliptical or doing some curls and tricep extensions in the weight room. Think about it as an intense wresting match where you're using every fiber of your strength to get free, or, the feeling you get when you have a 35 lb kid on your back and you're hoofing up a tough incline on the end of your hike. Now, think about doing that for 15-20 minutes. This is metabolic training. We're not just working aerobically, not just working anaerobically, we're doing both.

It's not going for a long run and reaching that runner's high where you could keep going for miles on end. It's also not lifting the heaviest amount you can for 1-3x reps. It's an ongoing intensity that lasts the whole workout.

A simple way to spot check if you're training metabolically -  Follow my Chase the B.U.R.N. method.

You should be Breathless, Unable to Speak, Really Sweaty and Needing to Rest for the entire workout. If you're heart rate is up, you're not able to hold a conversation with a friend, you're generating a lot of thermic heat and you're being forced to rest often...you're doing it right!


How do we get around the mental barriers that might stop us from digging deep in a workout in the shadows of our basement? A few tricks...

Training metabolically is a total mind f*ck, it really is. I wouldn't want to sugar coat it for you. Like anything, the more you do it the more comfortable you'll feel with the discomfort of the workout.

1. Get confident with the moves.

I recommend that if the mental block is your ability and you feel like you don't know how to to do the moves, this is the perfect time to pay for one or two personal training sessions to work through exercise form and make sure you're moving your body safely. Information and practice builds competence, competence builds confidence and confidence is key here in metabolic training.

2. Be ok with rest.

Know this: you will need to rest. Most of the women I train hate this - at first. They feel like a failure because we are conditioned, say with running, for example, to believe that when workouts become easy, we're in shape. What you can know about metabolic training is that as you get stronger and more confident, you're effort will improve and you'll always be pushing to the point of needing to rest. So, these workouts never get easier. They progress with you.

3. Get your mind right with some tricks.

Distraction
In my annual #GrittyUp challenge, we talk about how to mentally push ourselves in our workouts. One trick in particular that many Be PowerFULL trainees use while sprinting and we want to give up: we start counting and focus on the rhythm and start-and-end points of a 1-10 counting chant. We'll also plan our playlist well and focus on the lyrics or beat of our favorite tunes as we're considering 

Visualization
Another great trick that one came from my sister. I lived with her one summer between college semesters and at th time, we were training together for half-marathon. At the end of our run, we had to take on this grueling hill that seemed to last forever...and we hated it. She said she'd picture someone she wouldn't want to her fail, standing at the top of that hill. It always gave her the grit to push.

We all have that person, don't we? Put them front and center in your mind's eye, hold onto that image and get it done. Prove it to them that you won't give up. Now, this trick isn't about holding onto anger and resentment with others, it's more about using them as bait to prove something to yourself in the heat of the moment.


Get Clinical
Instead of thinking about how much time is left in the workout, focus on every single rep. Feel the movement from start to finish and keep the form impeccable building up the mind-muscle connection. Be in the moment rather than time traveling to a place that's scary, like focusing on failure or weakness.

​Read to get metabolic, mama? Only one more day to download my FREE Metabolic Mamas resource for women with over a dozen metabolic workouts to get more efficient and effective with your fitness. If you want to improve your physique, save time and improving your mental grit, this is the perfect resource for you.
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    Jessica Oar | Personal Group Training on South Shore MA | Fitness and Nutrition Coach
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