I don’t have everything all figured out. I’m an entrepreneur, wife and mom muddling through the messiness, joy and all the in between, just like everyone. So, if ever my work reads, “I’ve got this figured out”, let me reassure you that I DON'T. I may have more experience with strength training, hormone balance and living in the middle but I SURE AS HELL have to re-learn a lot of the same lessons, re-balance when I've lost my way and re-prioritize with the best of them.
An example: I love powerlifting but I've found ZERO time/energy for keeping up with my training this summer. Work/life balance has been HARD and I've noticed that with less childcare coverage for work, I've made far less time for self-care than during the school year when my routine is more predictable. For me, these longer workouts have had to hit the back burner.
Of note: I’ve spent the past week full-time moming for the FIRST TIME EVER. Seriously.
Well, fine, there have been times in my 5.5 years tenure as a mom where we, or our childcare providers, have been on vacation, but this is the first week where I had zero childcare built in for work. To me, this was scary AF (but really exciting at the same time) to lean into. I run an in-person and online coaching business, household and life and I was nervous to re-allocate my time and energy, to have no ‘me time’. I coach in the mornings and get tired as hell at night (read: I fall asleep on the couch nightly) so midday is game on for getting stuff done.
I feared things, like...
What if I resented my kids because I fell behind in my work/life?
What if I liked this and wanted to put the brakes on my work?
What if things fell through the cracks because my technology was not on 24/7?
What if I hated being with my kids 24/7? Just being honest.
The world didn’t fall apart. I didn’t fall apart. My business, my marriage, our family…didn’t fall apart.
In fact, I fell in love with my kids even more this week. I tuned in HARD to their needs, I prioritized me less and focused on them more. They responded ten-fold.
A few years ago, I saw my kids for just 2-3 hours a day (well, 4-5 actually, if you include overnight hours with my newborn..ugh).
I was working a full-time sales management job in Boston, with a short commute but long hours and many after-hours events. Since, we’ve moved to the burbs, I’ve left Corporate America and started my online and in-person strength and fat-loss coaching. It’s been a whirlwind few years and I do believe I actually work MORE at times than I did before (hello passion!) - especially that first year starting this new venture.
I always do my best to focus on my family, my marriage and me in some sort of harmonious balance but if there’s anything I know for sure, perfect balance is never, if rarely, ever attainable.
If one area of our lives gets TOO much care and attention, the others are inherently affected.
Of course, I could argue, that taking 3 date nights a week would be great for our marriage but this wouldn't show positive effects all around. Three nights out would eventually break the bank, we'd see our kids less and would have far less time for all the other things that need to happen when those little guys are tucked away in their beds.
See, it’s all a dance. And we’re always just doing the best we can. Floating along, working on all the things. If we're listening, we're feeling the affects of imbalance, looking hard at what needs to change and adjusting our plans.
And if we’re not doing this, we’re hopefully calling ourselves out on our bullshit. And then finally re-adjusting and re-prioritizing to resolve issues that have surfaced.
My kids were showing me they needed me more and I had to answer the call. I leaned into my fear of losing my time and leaned into owning my role as their mom full-time. It seems silly even to have had to have this reality check but if there’s anything I want to do through Be PowerFULL, I want to be authentic and honest so you can be, too.
Try not to worry about why you are where you are...just worry about doing something about it. Action is truly the biggest superpower we have.
I took action. And I've surprised myself.
The exhausting days I feared were far easier (barring the typical 3 yo tantrums no one, just no one, can coach those) because my kids needs were met. I had more realistic expectations for myself so I didn't spend my time disappointed on how things were going. I practiced far more adaptability and far less perfection.
And, because I felt successful from the feedback my kids were giving me, I felt I could do more for me after they had gone to sleep. I spent far less emotional energy feeling helpless and far more energy feeling capable. My kids responded, relaxed...and so did I.
I'm just a mom doing my best - standing ready for the next lesson.