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WHOEVER SAID "EAT SLOWLY TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT" WAS NOT A MOM.

7/26/2016

Studies show that taking 20-30 minutes to eat your meal may help you eat less. While this may happen some days by chance (because I'm chasing around my boys between bites), eating slowly is not a common occurrence in our world with 2 and 4 year old boys.

Parents, you know the drill, right?

When you get to a restaurant expecting to have nice, leisurely dinner with your family and from the first moment at the table you sense the unrest. The feet kicking against the base of the table, the clashing of the utensils on the floor, the grasping at anything in arm's reach. It's time's like those where I have to dig into my inner peace, calmly speak to my boy's about their behavior and SCARF DOWN MY MEAL ASAP while my husband pays the bill and brings the car around.

Experts say to put your fork down between bites to help you slow the amount of time it takes to finish your meal.

To engage your friends and family in conversations so as to lengthen the time it takes to finish your meal.

To chew each bite 32 times to effectively break down food and aid digestion.

Research shows that we end up consuming 10 percent fewer calories when we eat at a slow pace, chew each bite of food for longer and practice more mindful eating by lingering over our meals.

{Record scratch}. Riiiiiiiiight.

I a'int got time for that.

Let me tell you, I struggle just to keep my meals myself. To not have to share every other bite of my Sunday breakfast, my dinner that I've sat down to eat after everything in the house is finally done, or a sip of my G-D-WATER!

What's mine is my kids, and though, yes, I work to create boundaries (i.e. "Mom's Water Bottle"), when we're on a hike or at the beach and their water is gone and they are "so thirsty they may die", I share my water and then again the boundaries are blurred, the kids forget and it's like open season to chug my drinks again. There are some days, even, where I make my rounds to straighten up the house once everyone is in bed and I find 3, maybe 4, water bottles (all FULL) distributed around the house above kid-climbing level. I hide them even from myself.

What I'm saying is, not every rule is going to work for your lifestyle. And, I don't believe you should kill yourself trying to fit your crazy, ruckus life into a tidy little box of someone else's rules.

Making a nutritious breakfast from scratch with whole foods every morning may sound wonderful in theory but if you're lucky enough to walk out the door with your wallet and your keys and the papers you needed for that important meeting at work, that's probably not going to work for you. Maybe you need a hack, a work-around that works for you, like grabbing a Quest bar on the go with a piece of fruit and a large water bottle (no kid's hands allowed).

Maybe working out in the morning sounds like a great idea - and yes, working out on an empty stomach first thing in the am could be wonderful for fat loss - but you mentally berate yourself every time you inevitably miss your wake-up call. Perhaps setting a more realistic date with the gym during your lunch break at work is more ideal for you and because it's doable, you'll be consistent with this, even if it's not perfect.

By all means, listen to the studies, read the advice, educate yourself. But, above all else, know thyself. Be fair with your expectations for your health journey.

Someday, I may chew each bite 32 times. But, my kids will be in college and I'll be missing them like crazy. So, for now, I'll toe the line between forgetting entirely about my meal and getting it in my belly as fast as I can so I can enjoy every single bite without sharing.

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HOW BUSY MOMS FIND TIME TO WORK OUT.

7/11/2016

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Several years ago, I was a corporate career woman, managing a sales team in media. My career was rewarding and fun but extremely faced paced and high pressure. I clocked long hours at the office in addition to weeknight evenings out with clients and many day-long concert events on the weekends. Add to that the fact that I had a young family and let's just say that at times, keeping up with my workout routine seemed like a total pipe dream.

I'd leave home at 8am in the morning when our nanny would arrive and I'd return somewhere between 6-7pm, depending on if it was mine or my husband's night for the kid hand-off. Upon walking in the door, both kids crawling/running to my feet, I would be ON...full-on Mom/Wife mode. Work stress/pressure? Forget about it. I had to let it roll off my shoulders and put my other hats on. By the time 9pm rolled around, my husband and I would collapse onto the couch after dinners, prep for the following day, and bedtime for the kids to finally have a few minutes to catch up and unplug from the day. Most nights, I struggled to remember to hydrate myself and eat dinner, let alone exercise.

Which always begged the question, "When the hell do I fit in my workouts?"

The answer back then...in my closet with a pair of dumbbells for 10 minute segments.

I work with many moms who are in the same shoes I was, punching the clock with long days at the office - and then handling the rest of life on the fringe hours of the weekdays and over the weekend.

Many days, we're in "survival mode", checking the boxes and putting our best foot forward with the roles we play. It's easy to put our needs last and deem our planned workout as unnecessary, compared to the tasks of the day.

As a work-from-home mom now, I can confidently say that the other side of the coin outside the office isn't any easier. In fact, there are many days where I'm home with the boys all day and I struggle to maintain a home that doesn't look like a murder scene. No matter your job, SAHM, WAHM, full-or-part time working mom, our responsibilities with our family can take over our worlds if we let it...if we don't plan...if we don't ask for help.

Long ago, my husband took my father to a Red Sox game to ask him for permission to marry me. Though it took him most of the game to finally ask the question my father knew they were there for, Jeff finally broached the subject during the 7th inning stretch. I'm not sure exactly how the conversation unfolded, but after some banter and a few minutes of sweat-inducing Irish threats in jest, my Dad finally broke and welcomed Jeff to the family with a big handshake. His advice for our marriage was something neither Jeff nor I will forget; "Your relationship is like a bank account. There are times you'll be making deposits and then those where where you'll be making withdrawals. Open communication is key to the yin/yang of your marriage."

Make withdrawals.

The Moms I see crushing it in their fitness conquests are comfortable making withdrawals consistently, as a matter of routine. They stop trying to be a superwoman and they ask for help: from their partner, friends...a babysitter. They make financial investments in their

They pay for childcare at a gym, they find a sitter to be with their kids at home so they can attend group classes, they ask their partners for support with kid duties - they recognize that making time and space for their physical health is a necessary cog in the wheel of their lives.

For me, metabolic resistance training was, and still is, key for maintaining my consistency and results. Short-duration, high-intensity, progressively-overloaded workouts so I can get back to the rest of my life.

Jessica Oar lifting weights | Fitness and Nutrition Coach | South Shore MA

Consider the ways that you might make some withdrawals in order to get consistent with your workouts. Go ahead and turn in that Super-Mom Cape and hand over some responsibility...everyone will be better in the end!

I'm no accountant, but I see first hand how the withdrawals I make come back to my family tenfold...watching my husband's relationship with the boys get deeper through their one-on-one time, my return to my family a fuller and happier person because I've prioritized my mental and physical health and most importantly, how the give-and-take and sharing of responsibilities with my spouse makes us stronger as partners.

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THE ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE.

7/10/2016

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My family and I got home this week from a 5-day camping trip in Upstate NY, a place called the Thousand Islands. We enjoyed boat rides, refreshing swims in the river, a great fireworks display and lots of time with the kiddos, family and great friends.

In the time we were away, I don't think I ever saw my feet as they were black with dirt the whole trip, no amount of cleaning could keep the dust and leaves from the inside of our tent, my boys (2 and 4 yo) were perpetually covered in marshmallows, fresh greens and veggies were hard to come by and the enjoyment of a morning coffee could only be achieved by boiling water over a campfire first (that is, until we discovered "fresh" coffee at the campground store). Clearly, camping gets us WAY out of our routine.

Beautiful Camping Spot | Jessica Oar | Fitness and Nutrition Coach | South Shore MA

We've now been camping for years together and we love it. We value unplugging from real life, getting down to the basics and most of all, sitting around the campfire listening to music (or me, llistening to my husband play guitar). True Americana...a perfect way to spend 4th of July.

But, as much as I love the camping experience, I REALLY love getting home. It's like that first great day of Spring weather where you finally don't need a coat and you can sit outside and enjoy lunch. It's the feeling of true appreciation for all the little things that you otherwise took for granted.

Immediately upon arriving home, my kids got a spa experience; a bath with a total scrub down, nails clipped, hair washed & conditioned, skin moisturized, lovies (their essential must-bring-everywhere security blankets) laundered and clean sheets put on their beds. I brewed gourmet coffee, got a great workout in with my gym equipment, whipped up a fresh protein shake, loaded up on farm fresh veggies from down the street, filled the fridge with on-sale organic meats, did loads and loads of laundry and have used every toiletry in my closet so I can feel like a real human again.

Creature comforts. Routine. Rituals.

While I would love it to be the case, my daily rituals like eating whole foods, getting an intense workout in, writing, meditation, cooking, etc. - basically, all the things that keep me balanced and happy - can get out of whack from time to time. Because life happens, a camping trip happens, or things just start to feel monotonous.

It's perfectly natural for our gratitude for these things that really do fill us up and make us happy to get lost then, in the hustle-bustle of life...and for them to start to feel stale and without purpose. We can take them for granted and wonder why we even do them anyway.

And sometimes, we don't get that gratitude back until we've had the rug completely pulled out from under us. For me, I remember back to High School when I went through five knee surgeries from sports injuries. I had never appreciated walking as much as I did then. To hell with playing soccer again, I just wanted to walk down a flight of stairs without crutches or a brace. How does that saying go? You never know what you had until it's gone. Yeah. That.

But, perhaps we don't have to wait for a crisis to spark up our gratitude for the little things. Maybe we can use our "camping trips", those periods in our lives where we can't keep up with the rituals for a short time, to remind us how lucky we are to be able to perform those things that keep us on track.

A daily gratitude practice is a great way to start.

Yes, I realize how ironic this is as we're talking about building yet another ritual but I promise, over time, this one supersedes the rest. Because, it's a ritual that we can practice daily, no matter our circumstances...in the middle of the woods, down and out with an injury...anytime.

Gratitude, after all, is our readiness to show appreciation. To look at what we have, not what we've lost. To look at our blessings, to find the silver lining. To appreciate the little things (like toilet paper, haha).

And as it applies to our wellness routine; the more we appreciate our ability to do those little things each day like getting in a workout and making great food choices, the more likely we are to keep them up. Rather than feeling like their things we are sentenced to do, we feel empowered by doing them. We value all the little things that have to be in place for us to maintain consistency.

And how do we value them? We notice them more.

Start your gratitude practice

Simply choose a time of day where you can reflect for a few minutes; maybe in the shower, on your commute, as you're doing dishes. In this window, name three specific things you're grateful for, like: "I'm grateful my ankle injury hasn't flared up in many months", or, "I'm grateful I had time to make a great breakfast this morning", or, "I'm grateful that I was able to do one more round than usual of my workout today".

Practicing gratitude regularly conditions our mind to look for more things to be grateful for.

Today, I feel grateful that I was able to enjoy an amazing concert with my husband last night (something we used to do regularly together before having children), I'm grateful that I have a yard that I get to take care of; planting new flowers, ripping up weeds, making it mine, and I'm grateful for lazy weekend breakfasts of farm fresh eggs and maple bacon.

What are you grateful for today?

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