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The Devil Is In The Details: Stop Overwhelm Today.

4/25/2017

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“Doing things is what I like to do - YES!” 

I don’t even remember this Dunkin’ Donuts commercial to watch it but I remember the song because it’s become a personal joke between me and my husband.
 
We love productivity. We can both get into these moods where we’re buzzing around the house, knocking down to do’s and we’re like fast-paced versions of ourselves. It’s high energy and feels good to get a lot of shit done right? Especially those things that you think of all week long and you’re just psyched to move off the mental radar.  One of us will undoubtedly not be in that doing mode and we’ll start singing the song under our breath to the other to send the message: “Hey, take it easy on this productivity thing because you're making my #pajamalife look bad".
 
Truthfully, I love multi-tasking and being busy. Remember serving tables in your 20’s? 


God, being “in the weeds” was thrilling because it meant a major cash-out of tips at the end of the night. Cha-ching.


Productivity = results = money. 
 
So, we often take this multi-tasking, productive mindset into all of our goals…especially those around fitness and nutrition. We think, "If I’m super busy, juggling all the things I need to do to reach the goal and my life becomes consumed by my task at hand…it’s all going to be amazing!".

Busyness = productivity = results (weight loss/training outcome).
 
It’s so easy. Change all the things that need to change, keep doing those things and poof…results! Except, wait, why haven’t we been able to keep up with our nutrition, with our workouts, with our meditation habits?
 

Has it occurred to us that being in the weeds isn’t helping?
 
I’ve fallen prey to this stuff before, believe me.
 
If I'm going to diet, I’m not only going to stop eating sugar (including even gum) but I'm going to detox and know all the phytonutrients I need every hour of every day. I’m going to be the healthiest person on the planet!

If I want to deadlift more weight, I need to know how to do every single accessory move there is to build strong glutes and hamstrings, I'm going to buy all the equipment, all the training programs.  I’m going to lift more than any woman alive!

If I want to reorganize my office, I want to reorganize it all, even that weird drawer of papers from 2002 that I haven't touched in ages and really, at this point, doesn’t deserve to be riffled through. No drawer left behind, my house is 100% organized!

You see what I’m getting at right?


See, I happen to think that the devil IS in the details. 

The answer to becoming productive and reaching our goals is NOT in the details, it’s in the big stuff. Or, what I refer to as the "big rocks".

I’ve recently been working with a coach - one of 3 I'm currently using right now (see, doing things IS what I like to do!) - to better understand my children, specifically how to manage tantrums. And even though I wanted all the steps to becoming more patient, to never shouting again, to changing my reactions for once and for all, what I got was a super simple lesson that’s helped my family way more.


It’s so simple it’s stupid. We’ve focused more on connection time. Simple, one-on-one connection time with each child daily. But, not as we as adults want it…letting the child take the lead. Listening, paying attention, having them feel heard. Disconnecting from busyness for a few minutes with each child.

It's a big rock. It’s not a cure-all but it’s a step that with consistency, has changed a lot more than we imagined.

I didn’t need to address all the things I needed to change. God, how overwhelming is that? How disappointing, too? Self-sabotaging even?

What if I yelled again? Would I chock it up to being too weak, too distracted to even try to not do it anymore. "This is just me, how I'm wired, I might as well not try". "Ugh, I’m useless". OR, could adding something big and positive, a big rock, in and doing this consistently, almost wash out the nitty gritty (negative) details I was uber focused on? 

Want to better understand your children? Make time to connect in a meaningful way (to them) daily.

Want to deadlift more weight? Make deadlifting a part of your weekly workout regime. Literally, deadlift more often.

Want to lose weight (and keep it off)? Find a way of eating and exercising that's sustainable long-term.
 
In S.M.A.R.T. goal setting, one of the essential components is to make sure a goal is realistic. Most of us can undoubtedly say that losing 10 pounds is realistic, as my clients have said, “It shouldn’t be on me in the first place! Of course it’s realistic!”.  If asked, we could probably then list 20 things that needed to happen in order to reach our 10 lb weight loss goal. But, guys, the STEPS need to be realistic. 


Lowest Effective Dose Method.

My clients are busy. Our society is busy. We are strapped for time, energy and resources and we have to find action plans that are doable, not just for one week but longterm. This is why the lowest effective dose method is really the only way I coach. What is the least amount of work we can do for the biggest reward? 

Sounds lazy? Nope, I think it's just plain realistic and smart.


#operationhydrationandmuscle

In #CPCLUB, my online healthy lifestyle member club, we're focused on two things with our nutrition for the last week of April, protein and water, and we're calling this #operationhydrationandmuscle. We believe that by doing these two things, we can actually achieve consistency (because it's manageable) and in doing so we'll also Keep our HEC in Check (an acronym that shows us if our hormones are in balance and mobilized for fat-loss): we'll manage our hunger (stay fuller for longer), we'll increase our energy and we'll effectively minimize cravings. This is it! Eating more protein and staying hydrated.

We're not counting calories, working out for two hours a day, eating the rainbow, cleansing toxins and chewing our food 30 times each bite. We're focusing on eating more protein and drinking good 'ol H20.

These two things are big rocks to fat-loss and sustainability with our diet.

Don't do these two things? Satiety decreases, cravings pop up, willpower tanks, energy tanks, old habits become easier to oblige. Do these two things? Notice remarkable changes in satiety and decreases in hunger, less cravings and more energy. It's so simple, it's stupid, right?

Hey, by the way, if you want to join us and see why and how we're doing it - you're welcome to come into the club for free for this little pop up challenge we're doing this week, happy to add you! Click here to come in and join us!

If you feel bogged down by all the information you consume about what you should be doing to optimize your health, I feel you. Being in the weeds is fun in some ways but I can promise you this information overload is not the same as a night working the restaurant floor. There will be burnout and confusion and perhaps paralysis by analysis. 

Find your lowest effective dose and focus there for consistency. You'll be so happy you did.

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mom hack: do this to get more consistent with workouts.

4/18/2017

1 Comment

 
Forget high end gym memberships, personal training sessions, fancy home equipment, if you struggle to workout consistently, perhaps you've overlooked the biggest consistency obstacle: you're chasing perfection.

We often get caught up in the sexiness of that brand new rowing machine we can buy for our basements or those new classes all the moms at school pick-up are talking about, but the biggest area we can lean into improving is what we do when life (ahem, kids) get in the way. Do we practice flexibility and do our best or do we put it off and wait until another day because we can't execute perfectly?

​Leveling up is in my DNA, I love to sign onto new coaching programs, training plans and systems. But, I too, used to struggle (and HARD) when I couldn't stick to the plan perfectly due to things popping up like having to rush home to relieve my caregiver if she had an emergency. The change of plans had me reeling and not knowing what to do next, I'd think "If I can't do it RIGHT, I guess I just shouldn't do it at all?".

Look, if our dishwasher broke down would we leave a sink full of dishes and never wash a plate or cup until it was fixed or would we wash the dishes by hand and move on? If we had a busy day planned at work but received a phone call that our kid needed to be picked up from the nurse's office would we leave our child at school sick so we could go on with the day as planned or would we figure out a way to dial into our meetings from home? 

When we became mothers we learned, and within a few days at that, that even the best planning can't insulate us from the unexpected with kids. I can remember being home during maternity leave with my first child, just so excited to show him off and have adult conversation that I made a plan to attend a moms club breakfast a few blocks down from our condo in the city.

I planned all damn morning. I coordinated the perfect timing for when my son would eat last so he was happy, settled and quietly sleeping when I arrived. Of course, he had other plans. Within 5 minutes of arriving he was screaming to eat, had pooped out of his diaper and through his clothes and literally wanted to be anywhere but where we were (ugh, flustered mom puts down her mimosa).

As Moms, we have opportunities to lean into these moments and and stretch our patience, practice flexibility (I'm still working on this!) and realize imperfection is not only ok, but necessary, or we can remain stuck in quicksand, not taking action. For the record, I stuck around at that Moms breakfast and made some great connections.


So, how do we become a little less rigid when it comes to our workout schedule?

1. We realize that taking action trumps perfection, ALWAYS.

By all means, buy that expensive equipment or class series but if life happens and you can't get out of the house; a 5 minute Power-Up in your kitchen is better than nothing or a full workout that's  interrupted 10x by children is better than one that is pushed to the back burner (#everylittlebitcounts). 

2. We realize that an imperfection spurs creativity (and autonomy). 

When we can figure out how to do a solid workout in a hotel room, a playroom or at the playground, we become empowered by the possibilities. We realize that we don't need our trainer holding our hand to get our workout done.

We look at a parking lot and see sprints, we figure we can deadlift one of our kids if we need to, we see pull-up attempts at the monkey bars or turn a simple park bench into a plyometric machine. We stop requiring perfection in order to take action.


​Ready to get your workout in anywhere, Mom? Arm yourself with The Strong Mom Playground Workout Pack, 6 workouts designed to help busy moms get consistent and strong using playground equipment.
Get it free here.
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    Jessica Oar | Personal Group Training on South Shore MA | Fitness and Nutrition Coach
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