As a health coach, I've been hearing a common theme form my clients lately and it's this need to not announce what they're working towards with the people they love, and spend their time with - mostly because they're afraid of failing.
We don't want to say, "I'm trying to lose weight" because, well, what if it doesn't happen? What if we go to dinner and want to order something "off plan" and get judged for it. What if we don't order our "usual" and opt for something more in line with our goals and catch a little grief because of it? And worse, what if we do everything we can do and we still don't look different?
We feel like, by admitting our goals, we're putting ourselves up on display for everyone's judgement and say of how well we're doing.
Important to note, though: sometimes when we decide to create positive change for ourselves, the people we are close to don't get it at first (and maybe, sometimes never do). Most of the time, this is because they are unsure of what the change means to them and how it might affect their relationship with us. Will we change? Who will we become? And, will they be comfortable with it?
And the sort of unpleasant bit below it all is that OUR change may be uncomfortable for those we are close to because it may bring up some undesirable feelings about how they are living THEIR lives. Their shame, their challenges, their hidden desires.
It might be true that you're relationship will shift a bit. Are you buddies that love to window shop and eat pastries together? Did you love to lament about how Carol from accounting spends her life at the gym and is wasting her time? Certain conversations and occasions may feel a bit uneasy at first as you navigate to rewrite those narratives together. But, just because you're evolving does not mean you are growing apart. You get to decide that.
Of course, in the end, you are responsible for how you feel about your choices and your loved ones are responsible for theirs. I understand, though, it's irresistible to want to minimize and keep things safe for those we love, but your ownership is in your choices and your desired outcomes.
HOW TO GET CONNECTED TO PEOPLE WHO 'GET YOU':
If you're craving connection with people who get you, social media is a wonderful, wonderful place. For all our gripes about the political nature of FB - the rants, the trolls, the negativity - FB and Instagram, even Snapchat too, are wonderful places to connect with those who's vibe is exactly what you need and want for your goals. Those who inspire you to put one foot in front of the other, help you feel a part of something and make you want to keep going, even when it doesn't feel great.
My friend Neghar Foononi, an activist and champion for body positivity posted what I thought to be a really meaningful IG story recently that hit me with all the feels.
In the series of videos, Neg talked passionately about female body positivity and the understanding that we don't need to conform to society's ideals for how a women should look, especially as a source of our self-worth and belonging. She said, "This is about you and what you want for your life...do you".
In the past few years I have experimented with body building and power lifting and as a result of those things, my body shape has changed. More muscle, more power, less traditional femininity. I've also completely shifted from a career in Sales Management to becoming a personal trainer and health coach. I've evolved and focused on huge personal development. And, I won't lie that I've had moments where I've thought to myself, "Are my friends/family/colleagues/clients going to be ok with this?".
Neghar finished up by saying, "And if you change your mind", she says, "That's ok too. That's what this life experiment is all about. You have every right to continue to evolve and change the way you define yourself and the way you show up in the world".
So, if you want to step into a more powerful and confident self where you're chasing fat-loss, a performance goal, a new career, a brand new hobby, a new definition of health...anything. Go! Do it!
I truly don't know where I'd be without my sisters in the fitness industry. Without their friendship and support, I may not have continued to redefine myself professionally and move into the entrepreneur life. I have extensive support networks in the online space from business to fitness and I'm 100% positive I wouldn't be where I am without the connections I've made.
I want this for you too. You deserve it. You can gain access to these types of connections, or tribes, by seeking out free FB communities that are geared towards your goals and values. You can choose to follow leaders who are doing things you want to be doing and you can connect with and get support from people who are exactly where you are in the journey as well.
And if Be PowerFULL is your vibe and you're ready to build a sustainable healthy LIFESTYLE that's sane, realistic and tailored to busy women, the Connect + Be PowerFULL Member Club may just be the community you crave. See, I get you. I've juggled my career, family and health and know exactly what it takes to break free from the yo-yo diet cycle and get results. CP Club is monthly membership coaching community with women just like you who are unlocking their fat-loss and stepping into a powerful, more confident way of life. Ready?