I'm just a mom doing my best.

I don’t have everything all figured out. I’m an entrepreneur, wife and mom muddling through the messiness, joy and all the in between, just like everyone. So, if ever my work reads, “I’ve got this figured out”, let me reassure you that I DON'T. I may have more experience with strength training, hormone balance and living in the middle but I SURE AS HELL have to re-learn a lot of the same lessons, re-balance when I've lost my way and re-prioritize with the best of them.

An example: I love powerlifting but I've found ZERO time/energy for keeping up with my training this summer. Work/life balance has been HARD and I've noticed that with less childcare coverage for work, I've made far less time for self-care than during the school year when my routine is more predictable. For me, these longer workouts have had to hit the back burner.

Of note:  I’ve spent the past week full-time moming for the FIRST TIME EVER. Seriously. 

Well, fine, there have been times in my 5.5 years tenure as a mom where we, or our childcare providers, have been on vacation, but this is the first week where I had zero childcare built in for work. To me, this was scary AF (but really exciting at the same time) to lean into. I run an in-person and online coaching business, household and life and I was nervous to re-allocate my time and energy, to have no ‘me time’. I coach in the mornings and get tired as hell at night (read: I fall asleep on the couch nightly) so midday is game on for getting stuff done. 

I feared things, like...

What if I resented my kids because I fell behind in my work/life? 

What if I liked this and wanted to put the brakes on my work? 

What if things fell through the cracks because my technology was not on 24/7?

What if I hated being with my kids 24/7? Just being honest.

Guess what?

The world didn’t fall apart. I didn’t fall apart. My business, my marriage, our family…didn’t fall apart. 

In fact, I fell in love with my kids even more this week. I tuned in HARD to their needs, I prioritized me less and focused on them more. They responded ten-fold. 

A few years ago, I saw my kids for just 2-3 hours a day (well, 4-5 actually, if you include overnight hours with my newborn..ugh).

I was working a full-time sales management job in Boston, with a short commute but long hours and many after-hours events. Since, we’ve moved to the burbs, I’ve left Corporate America and started my online and in-person strength and fat-loss coaching. It’s been a whirlwind few years and I do believe I actually work MORE at times than I did before (hello passion!) - especially that first year starting this new venture. 

I always do my best to focus on my family, my marriage and me in some sort of harmonious balance but if there’s anything I know for sure, perfect balance is never, if rarely, ever attainable. 

If one area of our lives gets TOO much care and attention, the others are inherently affected. 

Of course, I could argue, that taking 3 date nights a week would be great for our marriage but this wouldn't show positive effects all around. Three nights out would eventually break the bank, we'd see our kids less and would have far less time for all the other things that need to happen when those little guys are tucked away in their beds.

See, it’s all a dance. And we’re always just doing the best we can. Floating along, working on all the things. If we're listening, we're feeling the affects of imbalance, looking hard at what needs to change and adjusting our plans. 

And if we’re not doing this, we’re hopefully calling ourselves out on our bullshit. And then finally re-adjusting and re-prioritizing to resolve issues that have surfaced.

My kids were showing me they needed me more and I had to answer the call. I leaned into my fear of losing my time and leaned into owning my role as their mom full-time. It seems silly even to have had to have this reality check but if there’s anything I want to do through Be PowerFULL, I want to be authentic and honest so you can be, too. 

Try not to worry about why you are where you are...just worry about doing something about it. Action is truly the biggest superpower we have.

I took action. And I've surprised myself.

The exhausting days I feared were far easier (barring the typical 3 yo tantrums no one, just no one, can coach those) because my kids needs were met. I had more realistic expectations for myself so I didn't spend my time disappointed on how things were going. I practiced far more adaptability and far less perfection.

And, because I felt successful from the feedback my kids were giving me, I felt I could do more for me after they had gone to sleep. I spent far less emotional energy feeling helpless and far more energy feeling capable. My kids responded, relaxed...and so did I. 

I'm just a mom doing my best - standing ready for the next lesson.

There's nothing quite as invigorating as committing to a new goal.

On my Private Coaching intake application, I pose a simple task: "Rate your readiness to create this change", referring to the goals my client has laid out in their responses to the application. The choices are; "I can't do it", "I may do it", "I will do it", "I'm doing it". It sounds like a silly exercise at first. Here they are ready to invest in a coaching relationship, of course their going to do it! 

We know, of course, when we're putting ourselves on the hook for something, it's likely going to be work! It's going to challenge us, make us uncomfortable and take some, maybe a lot, of start-up energy as we create the momentum necessary for change.

As I've observed my own behavior and that of my clients over a several year period, I notice that there's one thing in particular that propels us into "I'm doing it!" mode...

We're goddamn ready. Usually, because we're fed up with our own bullshit and we can't imagine living one more day under that stress, shame and fear. This is a problem for us. We know it's going to be hard work to solve it, but it will be worth it, once we are on the other side.

But, there's a big misstep we make time and time again and I was reminded of it when I was reading Mark Manson's "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" over the weekend. We imagine our lives once we're deadlifting 350 pounds off the floor, once we're 30 pounds lighter, once we have sworn off sugar for good. We picture that life, who we are then, how we're living and how effortless it's going to feel once we have it all figured out. You know, that "I'll finally be happy when..." scenario? In this fool's illusion, we're sauntering into the gym without fail every morning at 5am with no help from an alarm clock and when we get dressed angels sing our praise as clothes slip on our body like a they were made just for us.

Of course, we know the reality, right?

When we got married, did the argument we've been having about the dirty underwear on the floor with our spouse go away? When we lost the 20 pounds, did we magically have zero self-esteem issues anymore? When we started working hard at the gym did we ever stop having to work hard?
​
As Mark Manson points out in his book, "Your problems never f*cking go away, they just improve". What he means here is with the solving of one problem, we create new problems. So, rather than try to remove problems from our lives, let's think instead about which problems are worth fighting for?

I'm not saying that not deadlifting 300 pounds is a problem for me. But, for someone who's been working diligently to increase my strength and power, it'd be nice to see some more PRs in my not to distant future. But, see, I've had to take random periods off in my training but this, this cycle of ramping up my training then taking time off when my attention is needed elsewhere in my life, this is a problem that excites me and is worth fighting for. I love the thrill of creating momentum again with my training. I love taking on new goals, fighting through setbacks and then working my way back to lifting big numbers again. I love the journey, not JUST the destination. My training is hard, a mind game at times and motivation wanes more often than I thought it would.

Mark talks about the modern self-help market that touts positivity and quick hit highs; "It’s really good and easy to consume...but there is an inherently painful and difficult struggle as part of growth and if you are never willing to hit people on the face with that, most people are just gonna avoid it...they’re just going to keep finding more feel-good stuff to distract themselves with.”

​Keep in mind that there's utility in the struggle towards that goal you just committed to. When you get there, new problems may arise...scratch that, they WILL come up. But, if you've chosen a goal that aligns with your values and that's worth struggling for, you're probably giving a f*ck about about just the right thing. ;)

“Doing things is what I like to do - YES!” 

I don’t even remember this Dunkin’ Donuts commercial to watch it but I remember the song because it’s become a personal joke between me and my husband.
 
We love productivity. We can both get into these moods where we’re buzzing around the house, knocking down to do’s and we’re like fast-paced versions of ourselves. It’s high energy and feels good to get a lot of shit done right? Especially those things that you think of all week long and you’re just psyched to move off the mental radar.  One of us will undoubtedly not be in that doing mode and we’ll start singing the song under our breath to the other to send the message: “Hey, take it easy on this productivity thing because you're making my #pajamalife look bad".
 
Truthfully, I love multi-tasking and being busy. Remember serving tables in your 20’s? 

God, being “in the weeds” was thrilling because it meant a major cash-out of tips at the end of the night. Cha-ching.

Productivity = results = money. 
 
So, we often take this multi-tasking, productive mindset into all of our goals…especially those around fitness and nutrition. We think, "If I’m super busy, juggling all the things I need to do to reach the goal and my life becomes consumed by my task at hand…it’s all going to be amazing!".

Busyness = productivity = results (weight loss/training outcome).
 
It’s so easy. Change all the things that need to change, keep doing those things and poof…results! Except, wait, why haven’t we been able to keep up with our nutrition, with our workouts, with our meditation habits?
 
Has it occurred to us that being in the weeds isn’t helping?
 
I’ve fallen prey to this stuff before, believe me.
 
If I'm going to diet, I’m not only going to stop eating sugar (including even gum) but I'm going to detox and know all the phytonutrients I need every hour of every day. I’m going to be the healthiest person on the planet!

If I want to deadlift more weight, I need to know how to do every single accessory move there is to build strong glutes and hamstrings, I'm going to buy all the equipment, all the training programs.  I’m going to lift more than any woman alive!

If I want to reorganize my office, I want to reorganize it all, even that weird drawer of papers from 2002 that I haven't touched in ages and really, at this point, doesn’t deserve to be riffled through. No drawer left behind, my house is 100% organized!

You see what I’m getting at right?

See, I happen to think that the devil IS in the details. 

The answer to becoming productive and reaching our goals is NOT in the details, it’s in the big stuff. Or, what I refer to as the "big rocks".

I’ve recently been working with a coach - one of 3 I'm currently using right now (see, doing things IS what I like to do!) - to better understand my children, specifically how to manage tantrums. And even though I wanted all the steps to becoming more patient, to never shouting again, to changing my reactions for once and for all, what I got was a super simple lesson that’s helped my family way more.

It’s so simple it’s stupid. We’ve focused more on connection time. Simple, one-on-one connection time with each child daily. But, not as we as adults want it…letting the child take the lead. Listening, paying attention, having them feel heard. Disconnecting from busyness for a few minutes with each child.

It's a big rock. It’s not a cure-all but it’s a step that with consistency, has changed a lot more than we imagined.

I didn’t need to address all the things I needed to change. God, how overwhelming is that? How disappointing, too? Self-sabotaging even?

What if I yelled again? Would I chock it up to being too weak, too distracted to even try to not do it anymore. "This is just me, how I'm wired, I might as well not try". "Ugh, I’m useless". OR, could adding something big and positive, a big rock, in and doing this consistently, almost wash out the nitty gritty (negative) details I was uber focused on? 

Want to better understand your children? Make time to connect in a meaningful way (to them) daily.

Want to deadlift more weight? Make deadlifting a part of your weekly workout regime. Literally, deadlift more often.

Want to lose weight (and keep it off)? Find a way of eating and exercising that's sustainable long-term.
 
In S.M.A.R.T. goal setting, one of the essential components is to make sure a goal is realistic. Most of us can undoubtedly say that losing 10 pounds is realistic, as my clients have said, “It shouldn’t be on me in the first place! Of course it’s realistic!”.  If asked, we could probably then list 20 things that needed to happen in order to reach our 10 lb weight loss goal. But, guys, the STEPS need to be realistic. 

Lowest Effective Dose Method.

My clients are busy. Our society is busy. We are strapped for time, energy and resources and we have to find action plans that are doable, not just for one week but longterm. This is why the lowest effective dose method is really the only way I coach. What is the least amount of work we can do for the biggest reward? 

Sounds lazy? Nope, I think it's just plain realistic and smart.

#operationhydrationandmuscle

In #CPCLUB, my online healthy lifestyle member club, we're focused on two things with our nutrition for the last week of April, protein and water, and we're calling this #operationhydrationandmuscle. We believe that by doing these two things, we can actually achieve consistency (because it's manageable) and in doing so we'll also Keep our HEC in Check (an acronym that shows us if our hormones are in balance and mobilized for fat-loss): we'll manage our hunger (stay fuller for longer), we'll increase our energy and we'll effectively minimize cravings. This is it! Eating more protein and staying hydrated.

We're not counting calories, working out for two hours a day, eating the rainbow, cleansing toxins and chewing our food 30 times each bite. We're focusing on eating more protein and drinking good 'ol H20.

These two things are big rocks to fat-loss and sustainability with our diet.

Don't do these two things? Satiety decreases, cravings pop up, willpower tanks, energy tanks, old habits become easier to oblige. Do these two things? Notice remarkable changes in satiety and decreases in hunger, less cravings and more energy. It's so simple, it's stupid, right?

Hey, by the way, if you want to join us and see why and how we're doing it - you're welcome to come into the club for free for this little pop up challenge we're doing this week, happy to add you! Click here to come in and join us!

If you feel bogged down by all the information you consume about what you should be doing to optimize your health, I feel you. Being in the weeds is fun in some ways but I can promise you this information overload is not the same as a night working the restaurant floor. There will be burnout and confusion and perhaps paralysis by analysis. 

Find your lowest effective dose and focus there for consistency. You'll be so happy you did.

I can bet that there's been a time where you've walked into the gym, started your workout and all of a sudden felt the wind come out of your sails. Either your mind wasn't in it, or your body wasn't in it, but you stood there looking in the mirror saying to yourself (among expletives), "WELL, WHAT NOW?".

First let's talk about WHY this happens, then let's talk about what to do next. 

No matter where we are with our fitness, there are simply going to be days where we're feeling "off". We could be dealing with a stressful situation at work and the upcoming meetings and tasks are clouding our brain, or we could be dealing with our period and all the hormones present with that, or we could be nursing a new or old injury. Hell, we could be simply dealing with a not so sound sleep, or a cranky neck from resting on it wrong the previous night.

I often speak with my distance coaching clients who some days, have finished a workout and felt like they BARELY squeaked it out but then other days, they CRUSHED their workout and feel like they could take on the world. 

It's normal and happens to the very best athletes: we all of off days.

I had a personal experience with this situation this morning when I began my deadlift day for my Power Lifting training. Warm-up sets felt great, so I did what I normally do and started adding some more weight to the bar to build up to my working weight for the workout. THAT'S WHEN THE BUS CAME TO A SCREECHING HALT.

Lately, I've been paying attention to a small injury that creates some irritation in my left hip so, as I added weight, before I even began the pul in my "sumo stance", I could feel my hip saying "Not today!". So, based on this biofeedback, I switched up my style and tried to pull conventional stance. NOPE. 

Commence the swirling thoughts: "What's wrong with me?", "I've been dealing with this injury for so long!", "I'm going to get behind with my training!". Blah-blah-blah-blah. 

There's a whole host of reasons why I wanted this workout to happen today, the main reason being that I have a busy travel week ahead so I scheduled this workout, I have all the equipment here, let's just get it done, right? 

Nope Jess, not happening.

First: Take a second.

When/if this happens to you - just breathe. Yes, it feels disorienting, frustrating and possibly a little weak to not be meeting your original expectations for your workout, but sitting with the reality of where your mind and body are for a minute can go a long way. 

It seems a little woo-woo but in these moments, we can listen to what our body is trying to tell us - or we can force it and risk injury or further frustration. I suggest finding an open space and getting into some deep stretches or mobility work where you can practice some deep, rhythmic breathing....filling the lungs completely (360 degrees) and exhaling all the air out slowly. This, not only serves to calm the mind but will enable you to relax into deep, productive stretches.

Second: Take on the all-or-"something" mindset.

All-or-nothing thinking leads us to one place when we're faced with a workout we're just not feeling anymore. That place is nowhere.  I don't know one person who would feel empowered walking out of the gym, having completely abandoned the idea of achieving "something" physical that day. While, yes, another alternative is to sit in the sauna and meditate a bit (great for stress reduction), let's not abandon the workout completely if we don't have to. 
​

Third: Apply the one-move comeback.
​
While any given workout in a training program might call for 4 or 5, all the way up to 12-15, stretches/exercises in each workout, the key to switching from an all-or-nothing to an all-or-something mindset lies in simplicity. Make it easy on yourself to re-engage and get moving. 

Today, I chose a metabolic circuit on my stationary bike in my gym. I rolled the bike out from the wall, hopped on and got to work. For me, I needed the dopamine release of a good sweat so a quick 10 minute HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout on my bike was the perfect solution to ease me out of frustration and back into action. (If you choose this type of workout, crank up your resistance and push as hard and fast as possible for 30-45 seconds, rest nice and easy at no resistance for the same amount of time and continue for 10 minutes). 

An alternative to a machine might be to hit the road for some sprints with walking segments in between or to choose your favorite hybrid move, like a heavy dumbbell-squat press and complete HIIT intervals, working for one minute, resting for minute, for a total of 10 minutes. Simple and effective.

Fourth (and most important): Don't take it personally!

Simply put, we all have good days and bad days and a simple restorative sleep could bridge the gap between the two. There may not be a big, deep seated reason why your workout isn't in the cards for you today. Recognize the power in saving the workout by doing "something" and walk of the gym feeling empowered in your ability to take action, even when you felt anything but powerful in the moment.
​

Pour a glass of wine (go ahead, I'll wait), then listen to me...

...if your health is weighing on your mind as yet another thing that you didn't quite move forward the way you wanted this week, know this: there is literally no where you "should" be right now (or any time for that matter...this is all in your head). ​

Every single mamas journey is different. You don't need your pre-baby body back at by a certain time (or ever) and you only need to do as much as you are comfortable with (always). Ease up, ease way up and breathe. Talk kindly to yourself. There's so much more value in the quiet you can create than the chaos you chase.

Your health journey does not begin or end...it's a living, breathing experiment and you get to determine it's pace, trajectory and how it feels for you. Use your powerful mama's intuition to know that this week - it just wasn't your week - and that, sister, is perfectly ok. 

CP Club is a fit lifestyle club dedicated to helping busy women get strong and become healthy and happy in their bodies - encouraging them to take on full autonomy with their health journey. In CP Club we: unlock individualized fat-loss, get consistent with our fitness and nutrition and make lasting friendships. Registration is open through midnight tonight (Friday, February 10). Learn more about our tribe here.

Are you a basic b*tch? You know, the cold-pressed juice and pumpkin spice latte loving, Mean Girls quoting b*tch? 😉
​

Many inspiring leaders in the health + fitness space today are talking about self-compassion and a pulling back from hardcore methods as a means to break free from that which is keeping us stuck. Because, sometimes to move forward we have step back; invite ease, show ourselves some grace, rest, slow down, re-assess.

As a society, we are over-trained, over-dieted, over-worked, over-committed...over-done.

I admit to living quite a long period of over-doneness in my mid 20's to early 30's. Chasing advancement at work, obsessing over starting a family, training for race after race after race, traveling too much (though it WAS fun!) and dieting too restrictively. I believed that being excessively hard on myself was the only way to move ahead and self-compassion? Well, that was giving up, being too soft.

While I do believe that hustling for our worthiness (i.e. spending hours in the gym to work off last weekend's sins or starving ourselves for a week before a social event to look our best for others) can be a harmful path, I also believe that owning a voice of personal tough love IS necessary to staying in the game towards our goals when inevitably, motivation wanes.

We are bound to meet a day where we just don't want to workout or an evening where a glass of wine and a bath or the couch and some oreos, sounds far more intriguing than the sweat session we've planned. But, deep down, we know that we'll be better for it, emotionally and physically, if we dig in and do the workout anyway.

That's grit, my friend. Taking action.

The biggest struggle I hear from women I coach in my business, Be PowerFULL, is how hard it is to stay motivated to workout. They'll get on a great track, consistent for weeks on end, and then they'll miss one workout, and then another...and then they fall in the inevitable rut. 

Ugh, why is it so g-damn hard to get out of a rut?

Sometimes, a little healthy tough love is exactly what we need to pick ourselves up and get over that awkward hump of inaction.

So, what's the difference between healthy tough love and hustling for our worthiness?

The hustle for worthiness feels like need to perfect, to perform or to prove to someone (mainly ourselves) that we need to do this thing over here, exactly this way, in order to be accepted and enough. Eat perfectly clean, look a certain way, be completely in control of our children, our weight, our partner, our career. The hustle tends to be wrought with perfectionism and fueled by shame.

Healthy tough love, though, is our smart, intuitive voice (our gut) that forces ourselves to take responsibility for our actions and outcomes. The voice that pops up and says "yes" even when the easier thing to do is to say "no" and sit on the sidelines. The voice that says "I can't NOT do this, anymore".

It's the voice that knows that we can handle short term pain, and that the short term pain will save us from longterm heartache.

It's the voice that gets us out of bed after pressing the snooze button twice because we know the workout will do us good.

It's the voice that says "Nah, the brownie isn't necessary tonight because we've got this goal over here we're working towards". 

​A common way tough loves shows up for me is when I'm mid-workout, feeling a bit off and frankly, wanting to put the weights down and walk away. Sometimes, I should walk away. But, many times, I know I'm safe, I have the energy and it's ok to push hard,  it's just my mind is getting in the way.

I think of something that's happening later that day, a big meeting, a program launch, a new client appointment and I say to myself, "If you can't do this right now, Jess, that's not going to go the way you want it to". 

I think of how badly I want that thing to go successfully, whatever it is, and I dig into my reservoir of strength and let my workout represent the attitude I'll want and need for later.

Failing is not an option now if I want to succeed later. 

This has proven to work every single time I've used it. And no, using this tough love tool doesn't mean the workout has to end perfectly, or even that the thing later goes perfectly, but only that I took myself in that moment, from my "no" to a "yes" with the way I framed the temporary discomfort. I did a couple more reps than I thought I could, I pushed through the discomfort and held on a moment longer.

I put the challenge in front of me in the context of how I want to show up for something that matters to me later. So then, it's not as easy as walking away from the workout, it's about setting myself up to win later. I have outcomes attached to whether I decide to take action or shy away and give up.

Tough love doesn't need to be harmful and self-deprecating in order to be useful. ​

Next time you start saying "no" for yourself, can you instead reframe the challenge and think of how saying "yes" in this temporary moment can make you better in the long run? I sure hope so.

I'm about to drop a major truth bomb on you. Ready?

Stop trying to be like everyone else. It's YOU that will make you successful.

As a solo-preneur (in charge of myself and myself only with my business) I can find at times that my biggest opportunity, working for myself, can also be my biggest obstacle. 

See, if I wanted to, I could spend HOURS consuming my peers work. Studying, admiring...and at many times, comparing and feeling less than because of how completely bad-ass a lot of their products and messages are. What at times is exciting, empowering and motivating can turn debilitating, can steal from my peace and wreck havoc on my spark.

"He said that better than I could!"

"How will I ever get to where she is?"

"I don't have his experience!"

"She's fitter than I am!"

"Omg, she's a killer writer!" ... "A better lifter!" ... "A more gifted x, y, z..."

We could do this for days, right? If you think I'm wrong, just notice how you feel next time you're scrolling through your social media feed. We can all get stuck in this comparison trap. And, too often.

In my former career, I was a Sales Manager of a major radio station. I was responsible for hiring new sales talent and then training and developing him/her into a high-performing advertising salesperson.

One piece of advice I always gave my new hires was this: "Find someone successful you respect on our team, in our building, and build a relationship with them". 

Why did I give this advice? Well, despite the obvious - that rolling in a successful crowd helps you to level up (and commiserating with the unsuccessful crowd does quite the opposite) - I hoped my newbie would study and emulate the behaviors of their new mentor, noticing the things they consistently did and said that made them successful. 

BUT.

There's an essential caveat to this advice and for a bit of time during my first year as a solo-preneur, I conveniently forgot it. By all means, study, research and dissect but then....

Go be yourself.

No one makes people feel at ease in conversations like you. Or, laughs at just the right times like you. Or, writes emails like the reader is in a conversation with a best friend they haven't even met yet, like you. No one explains things like you, has the same personal experience as you...has your background, your quirks, your education. No one knows how to make people feel special, included and a part of something big like you. No one has your strength, your resolve, your thick skin. No one has your competitive spirit, your drive, your courage. Use it, use all of it, to do something big, something you can't even picture right now.

I'm in awe with how much my work with Be PowerFULL comes back to this practice of authenticity, both for myself and my clients. How showing up just as we are is the truest way to drive our success long term. How authenticity is the answer to just about every struggle we're encountering and how showing up exactly as we are levels up our relationships, spirituality, business and health.

Spoiler: I don't. 

I'm not a long-distance runner. I think I've always known this but I never really owned it. For much of my athletic life, I've pushed this form of exercise on myself without really stopping to ask, "Do I actually enjoy this?". 

I have always much preferred sprinting short distances to long duration running. As a young athlete, I was pretty darn quick and that explosive power served me well in swimming, soccer, track and lacrosse. In fact, before I knew anything about efficient exercise,  I made up my own intense workouts on the street I grew up on. I'd head outside after dark, often to deal with the typical teen angst on days my parents were "the worst", and I'd sprint from one telephone pole to the next, then walk until the next one, sprint again, and so on for about 20 minutes of heart-and-arm pumping exercise.

Ironically though, for most of my 20's, I felt like I needed to run moderate-long distances to stay in shape and looked like I worked out.

The kicker is, I never did get the tight, toned look I wanted. Sure, there were times where I'd follow a restrictive diet and lose 15-20 lbs and appear slimmer, but I wasn't actually working on building, or maintaining, muscle (one of the most important components to metabolism boosting and physique change). 

As a long-time athlete, running certainly had it's rewards. I enjoyed pushing myself, seeing progress from consistency and competition, but if I'm honest, I spent more of my time dealing with nagging injuries and procrastinating my workouts than actually enjoying the runs.

Longer distance, moderate-intensity running isn't for everyone. It certainly isn't for me.

Yet, time and time again, I have new clients coming through my doors saying that they feel the same way, but they still do it to get their "cardio".

Long duration cardio has long been heralded as the number one method to burn calories and lose weight. But believing that cardio is the only way to burn calories effectively for physique change is the OLD way of thinking.

I'm psyched to be a part of a community of female trainers who are talking about SO MANY different types of training that can improve our metabolism, get the physique results we want, but more importantly, have a hell of a lot of fun doing it.

To be clear, this is not a hate letter to long-distance running. Not in the least. I work with many women every day who absolutely love this to be a part of their fitness, they are runners through and through and I'm so happy to work with them on rounding out their training. 

But if you truly don't have fun when you run (long distance), go ahead and try this highly popular short and sweet track workout (taken from Busy But Burnin', the 6-week fitness & fat loss coaching group!). 

For more short and sweet workouts like this, join my Be PowerFULL community to get my free newsletters in your inbox each week!

Studies show that taking 20-30 minutes to eat your meal may help you eat less. While this may happen some days by chance (because I'm chasing around my boys between bites), eating slowly is not a common occurrence in our world with 2 and 4 year old boys. 

Parents, you know the drill, right?

When you get to a restaurant expecting to have nice, leisurely dinner with your family and from the first moment at the table you sense the unrest. The feet kicking against the base of the table, the clashing of the utensils on the floor, the grasping at anything in arm's reach. It's time's like those where I have to dig into my inner peace, calmly speak to my boy's about their behavior and SCARF DOWN MY MEAL ASAP while my husband pays the bill and brings the car around.

Experts say to put your fork down between bites to help you slow the amount of time it takes to finish your meal.

To engage your friends and family in conversations so as to lengthen the time it takes to finish your meal.

To chew each bite 32 times to effectively break down food and aid digestion.

Research shows that we end up consuming 10 percent fewer calories when we eat at a slow pace, chew each bite of food for longer and practice more mindful eating by lingering over our meals. 

{Record scratch}. Riiiiiiiiight.

I a'int got time for that.

Let me tell you, I struggle just to keep my meals myself. To not have to share every other bite of my Sunday breakfast, my dinner that I've sat down to eat after everything in the house is finally done, or a sip of my G-D-WATER!

What's mine is my kids, and though, yes, I work to create boundaries (i.e. "Mom's Water Bottle"), when we're on a hike or at the beach and their water is gone and they are "so thirsty they may die", I share my water and then again the boundaries are blurred, the kids forget and it's like open season to chug my drinks again. There are some days, even, where I make my rounds to straighten up the house once everyone is in bed and I find 3, maybe 4, water bottles (all FULL) distributed around the house above kid-climbing level. I hide them even from myself.

What I'm saying is, not every rule is going to work for your lifestyle. And, I don't believe you should kill yourself trying to fit your crazy, ruckus life into a tidy little box of someone else's rules.

Making a nutritious breakfast from scratch with whole foods every morning may sound wonderful in theory but if you're lucky enough to walk out the door with your wallet and your keys and the papers you needed for that important meeting at work, that's probably not going to work for you. Maybe you need a hack, a work-around that works for you, like grabbing a Quest bar on the go with a piece of fruit and a large water bottle (no kid's hands allowed).

Maybe working out in the morning sounds like a great idea - and yes, working out on an empty stomach first thing in the am could be wonderful for fat loss - but you mentally berate yourself every time you inevitably miss your wake-up call. Perhaps setting a more realistic date with the gym during your lunch break at work is more ideal for you and because it's doable, you'll be consistent with this, even if it's not perfect.

By all means, listen to the studies, read the advice, educate yourself. But, above all else, know thyself. Be fair with your expectations for your health journey.

​Someday, I may chew each bite 32 times. But, my kids will be in college and I'll be missing them like crazy. So, for now, I'll toe the line between forgetting entirely about my meal and getting it in my belly as fast as I can so I can enjoy every single bite without sharing.

For more of my musings on nutrition, fitness and self-care as Moms, sign up for my email newsletter here:

That being said: as a society, we do gather around food and the pot luck get-togethers can make for a sea of really temping "just this one bite" scenarios (that often become a slippery slope if we're being tempted by our triggers). 

For my private and community coaching gals, I always recommend that they bring a dish that fits our #PowerFilter. This is a meal that's tasty as hell but with plenty of protein, fiber and water to satisfy and keep us fuller for longer so we're not reaching for all the treats.


HERE ARE 4 (plus a special bonus!) 4TH OF JULY FAT-LOSS RECIPES FOR YOU TO TRY:

COWBOY CAVIAR

Ingredients:

• 2, 14-oz cans petite diced tomatoes (or, 4-6 fresh roma tomatoes chopped)
• 4, chopped boneless and skinless grilled chicken breasts
• 1, 15-oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1, 14-oz can corn, drained (optional)
• 1/2 medium red onion, diced
• 4 cubanelle peppers, 1diced and 3 cut into large pieces (simulating a tortilla scoop chip).
• 1/2 tsp. garlic minced or tested (tip: use a lemon zester!)
• 2 ripe avocados, pitted, peeled and diced
• 1/2 c. fresh cilantro, chopped
• 2 limes, juiced (and one zested)
• 2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
• 1 tbsp. tabasco
• 1/2 tsp. sea salt
• 1/2 tsp. black cracked pepper

Preparation:

1. In a large bowl, mix together tomatoes, black beans, corn, onion, avocado, pepper, and garlic.
2. Dress with extra virgin olive oil, lime juice, lime zest, salt and pepper and mix thoroughly.
3. Serve on top of mixed greens or lettuce or eat as a dip with cubanelle pepper "chips".

(Can be prepared the day before, if needed, as ingredients will marinate together nicely).

KALE CAESAR SALAD

Ingredients:

• 6 cups of kale (spine removed and chopped, about 2 bunches)
• 2 lemons, juiced and zested
• 2 garlic cloves, peeled 
• 1/8 c. parmesan cheese grated (optional)
• 3 tsp. anchovy paste or one container of anchovy filets, drained
• 1/2 tsp. fresh cracked black pepper
• 1/4-1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil 

Preparation:

1. Into a blender, add lemon juice and zest, garlic, cheese, anchovies and pepper. Pulse to combine, adding EVOO until you reach your desired consistency.
2. Dress kale with mixture and with clean hands, massage the kale for several minutes to combine all the ingredients.
3. Either serve immediately or let sit in the fridge for several hours before serving.

CABBAGE SLAW

Ingredients:

• 4 cups of white cabbage, shredded
• 1 cup of carrots, shredded
• 1/2 cup scallions, sliced thin
• 2/3 cup non-fat plain Greek yogurt
• 1 tsp. lemon juice
• 3 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
• 1 tbsp. honey or 1-2 drops of liquid stevia
• 1 tsp celery seed
• pinch of sea salt
• 1/2 tsp. fresh cracked black pepper
• pumpkin seeds

Preparation:

1. In a medium bowl, add yogurt, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar, honey/stevia, celery seed, s+p. Whisk to combine (or pulse in a small blender). 
2. In a small pan over med-high heat, roast pumpkin seeds until fragrant being sure to toss periodically (this will only a few minutes). Remove to cool.
3. Top slaw with cooled pumpkin seeds and stir. 

ONION DIP

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 tbsp. avocado oil
• 1 large vidalia onion, chopped
• 1 tsp. sea salt
• 1-2 garlic cloves, chopped
• 1 cup low-fat greek yogurt
• ½ cup organic mayonnaise
• ⅛ tsp. cayenne pepper
• 1 dash of paprika
• 1/4 tsp. sea salt
• ¼ tsp. cracked pepper
• 1/2 scallion, chopped

Preparation:

1. In a medium pan over medium heat, add the avocado oil.
2. Add the onion and a sprinkle of sea salt and cook until soft and brown (caramelized) about 20-30 minutes.
3. Add the garlic and stir in with onions for a minute until fragrant. Remove onion and garlic and cool.
4. In a blender, combine greek yogurt, mayonnaise, cayenne pepper, paprika and black pepper. Add the cooled onion and garlic mixture. Pulse for a few seconds to combine all the ingredients.
5. Cover and refrigerate for 2-3 hours, or until cool.
6. Sprinkle with chopped green onion and serve with homemade sweet potato chips or cucumber slices.

"OAR NAUT" TEQUILA COCKTAIL - YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!

Ok so this isn't a fat-loss recipe but it's a damn good cocktail that you might want to enjoy alongside that #PowerFilter meal. If you love margaritas, try this variation my husband and I created.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 tbsp. fresh lime juice
• 1/2 oz. St. Germaine liquor
• 1 oz. tequila
• 5 oz. plain seltzer

Preparation:

• Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and mix in all the ingredients. Shake to combine.  
• Pour cocktail over ice and serve with a fresh lime wedge.

Happy 4th of July! I wish you a safe, fun and relaxing holiday!
xo-Jess

For more insights and tips on fat-loss and healthy living from Jess, sign up HERE for weekly emails full of recipes, workouts and motivation for the busy woman! 

I did some research recently and found some pretty epic diet trends from the past, some I've never heard of. 

The Twinkie Diet,  The Sleeping Beauty Diet, The Cigarette Diet (I mean, who comes up with this stuff?), The Baby Food Diet...the list goes on and on. I'm actually pretty surprised I never got my hands on one of these at some point. 

I think we can all agree that smoking cigarettes in order to suppress our appetite and lose weight is probably not the healthiest, most sustainable form of weight loss. In fact, it's doing way more harm than good. 

These are pretty outlandish examples but the point is the same.

We are wired to believe that if a weight loss method is hard-core, it must be effective.  

The bigger the risk the bigger the reward, right? I think that's lazy thinking.

When we think rebelliously like that, we're overlooking one of the simplest and most common-sense barriers to lasting change...if it's torture to execute, it's going to be torture to maintain. Whatever results we get will most likely come back over time, if not immediately.

I overheard some ladies talking over coffee recently and the conversation blew my mind. One of them was about to go on a cleanse in which she could only drink juice for 10 days. She was doing this to get back on track and lose 15-20 pounds, she said.

Her friend was supportive at first, but then asked a great question. She said "Well I don't know, Bridget...but if the weight comes off that quickly, won't it come back on just as fast?".

Amen, sister.

But, Bridget answered with a glimmer of hope in her eye, "Well, I just figure, if I'm finally down that weight I've been trying to lose for FOREVER, I'll feel so much better about myself and I won't make stupid decisions to gain it back!".

This is the thinking of a weight-loser (I say that in the nicest way possible, just a silly play on words!), so focused on the green grass on the other side, she's not thinking through the fact that she's actually not thinking for herself one bit on this juice cleanse. She's putting a bandaid on her weight loss goal, the same bandaid she'll need to use over and over again when the weight comes back on. Only, over time, the adhesive gets worn and worn on that bandaid until she'll find the next big thing that will be the magic pill because she couldn't keep repeating the juice cleanse unsuccessfully over time.

Have you ever thought this way?

Believe me, I lived the life of a weight-loser for a really long time. I gained and lost the same 20-25 lbs over and over and over again...to the point where I had everything from a size 2 to a size 10 in my closet...just in case. I jumped from plan to plan to plan to plan, doing what most people do, searching for "the magic pill" diet that was going to stick for me. One that just made total sense and I could maintain forever.

I don't know about you but I can't live on only grapefruit and PB the rest of my life. LOL.

There's two levels of "weight-losers", IMO.

There's the 1.0 version: those of us who follow grapefruit and PB diets, crossing our fingers in the hopes that this combination of foods really does stir up a perfect chemical reaction that makes weight just melt off, like the inventors would make us believe.

And, there's the 2.0 version: those who follow more well-researched diets like The South Beach, Atkins, Hornish, etc. to the letter, complying with every single rule, eliminating "not approved foods", eating "approved ones" and moving their bodies in productive ways along with eating right to get great results.

I like 2.0. And I got lots of great results on 2.0. But, even these great results didn't last because I still was not thinking for myself following all those rules.

It wasn't until I moved from a weight-loser to a "fat-burner" that I got the best benefit of them all...I began to think for myself.

(Click here to begin thinking for yourself in my upcoming Busy But Burnin' online fitness and fat loss coaching group which is now open for enrollment).