“Doing things is what I like to do - YES!” 

I don’t even remember this Dunkin’ Donuts commercial to watch it but I remember the song because it’s become a personal joke between me and my husband.
 
We love productivity. We can both get into these moods where we’re buzzing around the house, knocking down to do’s and we’re like fast-paced versions of ourselves. It’s high energy and feels good to get a lot of shit done right? Especially those things that you think of all week long and you’re just psyched to move off the mental radar.  One of us will undoubtedly not be in that doing mode and we’ll start singing the song under our breath to the other to send the message: “Hey, take it easy on this productivity thing because you're making my #pajamalife look bad".
 
Truthfully, I love multi-tasking and being busy. Remember serving tables in your 20’s? 

God, being “in the weeds” was thrilling because it meant a major cash-out of tips at the end of the night. Cha-ching.

Productivity = results = money. 
 
So, we often take this multi-tasking, productive mindset into all of our goals…especially those around fitness and nutrition. We think, "If I’m super busy, juggling all the things I need to do to reach the goal and my life becomes consumed by my task at hand…it’s all going to be amazing!".

Busyness = productivity = results (weight loss/training outcome).
 
It’s so easy. Change all the things that need to change, keep doing those things and poof…results! Except, wait, why haven’t we been able to keep up with our nutrition, with our workouts, with our meditation habits?
 
Has it occurred to us that being in the weeds isn’t helping?
 
I’ve fallen prey to this stuff before, believe me.
 
If I'm going to diet, I’m not only going to stop eating sugar (including even gum) but I'm going to detox and know all the phytonutrients I need every hour of every day. I’m going to be the healthiest person on the planet!

If I want to deadlift more weight, I need to know how to do every single accessory move there is to build strong glutes and hamstrings, I'm going to buy all the equipment, all the training programs.  I’m going to lift more than any woman alive!

If I want to reorganize my office, I want to reorganize it all, even that weird drawer of papers from 2002 that I haven't touched in ages and really, at this point, doesn’t deserve to be riffled through. No drawer left behind, my house is 100% organized!

You see what I’m getting at right?

See, I happen to think that the devil IS in the details. 

The answer to becoming productive and reaching our goals is NOT in the details, it’s in the big stuff. Or, what I refer to as the "big rocks".

I’ve recently been working with a coach - one of 3 I'm currently using right now (see, doing things IS what I like to do!) - to better understand my children, specifically how to manage tantrums. And even though I wanted all the steps to becoming more patient, to never shouting again, to changing my reactions for once and for all, what I got was a super simple lesson that’s helped my family way more.

It’s so simple it’s stupid. We’ve focused more on connection time. Simple, one-on-one connection time with each child daily. But, not as we as adults want it…letting the child take the lead. Listening, paying attention, having them feel heard. Disconnecting from busyness for a few minutes with each child.

It's a big rock. It’s not a cure-all but it’s a step that with consistency, has changed a lot more than we imagined.

I didn’t need to address all the things I needed to change. God, how overwhelming is that? How disappointing, too? Self-sabotaging even?

What if I yelled again? Would I chock it up to being too weak, too distracted to even try to not do it anymore. "This is just me, how I'm wired, I might as well not try". "Ugh, I’m useless". OR, could adding something big and positive, a big rock, in and doing this consistently, almost wash out the nitty gritty (negative) details I was uber focused on? 

Want to better understand your children? Make time to connect in a meaningful way (to them) daily.

Want to deadlift more weight? Make deadlifting a part of your weekly workout regime. Literally, deadlift more often.

Want to lose weight (and keep it off)? Find a way of eating and exercising that's sustainable long-term.
 
In S.M.A.R.T. goal setting, one of the essential components is to make sure a goal is realistic. Most of us can undoubtedly say that losing 10 pounds is realistic, as my clients have said, “It shouldn’t be on me in the first place! Of course it’s realistic!”.  If asked, we could probably then list 20 things that needed to happen in order to reach our 10 lb weight loss goal. But, guys, the STEPS need to be realistic. 

Lowest Effective Dose Method.

My clients are busy. Our society is busy. We are strapped for time, energy and resources and we have to find action plans that are doable, not just for one week but longterm. This is why the lowest effective dose method is really the only way I coach. What is the least amount of work we can do for the biggest reward? 

Sounds lazy? Nope, I think it's just plain realistic and smart.

#operationhydrationandmuscle

In #CPCLUB, my online healthy lifestyle member club, we're focused on two things with our nutrition for the last week of April, protein and water, and we're calling this #operationhydrationandmuscle. We believe that by doing these two things, we can actually achieve consistency (because it's manageable) and in doing so we'll also Keep our HEC in Check (an acronym that shows us if our hormones are in balance and mobilized for fat-loss): we'll manage our hunger (stay fuller for longer), we'll increase our energy and we'll effectively minimize cravings. This is it! Eating more protein and staying hydrated.

We're not counting calories, working out for two hours a day, eating the rainbow, cleansing toxins and chewing our food 30 times each bite. We're focusing on eating more protein and drinking good 'ol H20.

These two things are big rocks to fat-loss and sustainability with our diet.

Don't do these two things? Satiety decreases, cravings pop up, willpower tanks, energy tanks, old habits become easier to oblige. Do these two things? Notice remarkable changes in satiety and decreases in hunger, less cravings and more energy. It's so simple, it's stupid, right?

Hey, by the way, if you want to join us and see why and how we're doing it - you're welcome to come into the club for free for this little pop up challenge we're doing this week, happy to add you! Click here to come in and join us!

If you feel bogged down by all the information you consume about what you should be doing to optimize your health, I feel you. Being in the weeds is fun in some ways but I can promise you this information overload is not the same as a night working the restaurant floor. There will be burnout and confusion and perhaps paralysis by analysis. 

Find your lowest effective dose and focus there for consistency. You'll be so happy you did.

I can bet that there's been a time where you've walked into the gym, started your workout and all of a sudden felt the wind come out of your sails. Either your mind wasn't in it, or your body wasn't in it, but you stood there looking in the mirror saying to yourself (among expletives), "WELL, WHAT NOW?".

First let's talk about WHY this happens, then let's talk about what to do next. 

No matter where we are with our fitness, there are simply going to be days where we're feeling "off". We could be dealing with a stressful situation at work and the upcoming meetings and tasks are clouding our brain, or we could be dealing with our period and all the hormones present with that, or we could be nursing a new or old injury. Hell, we could be simply dealing with a not so sound sleep, or a cranky neck from resting on it wrong the previous night.

I often speak with my distance coaching clients who some days, have finished a workout and felt like they BARELY squeaked it out but then other days, they CRUSHED their workout and feel like they could take on the world. 

It's normal and happens to the very best athletes: we all of off days.

I had a personal experience with this situation this morning when I began my deadlift day for my Power Lifting training. Warm-up sets felt great, so I did what I normally do and started adding some more weight to the bar to build up to my working weight for the workout. THAT'S WHEN THE BUS CAME TO A SCREECHING HALT.

Lately, I've been paying attention to a small injury that creates some irritation in my left hip so, as I added weight, before I even began the pul in my "sumo stance", I could feel my hip saying "Not today!". So, based on this biofeedback, I switched up my style and tried to pull conventional stance. NOPE. 

Commence the swirling thoughts: "What's wrong with me?", "I've been dealing with this injury for so long!", "I'm going to get behind with my training!". Blah-blah-blah-blah. 

There's a whole host of reasons why I wanted this workout to happen today, the main reason being that I have a busy travel week ahead so I scheduled this workout, I have all the equipment here, let's just get it done, right? 

Nope Jess, not happening.

First: Take a second.

When/if this happens to you - just breathe. Yes, it feels disorienting, frustrating and possibly a little weak to not be meeting your original expectations for your workout, but sitting with the reality of where your mind and body are for a minute can go a long way. 

It seems a little woo-woo but in these moments, we can listen to what our body is trying to tell us - or we can force it and risk injury or further frustration. I suggest finding an open space and getting into some deep stretches or mobility work where you can practice some deep, rhythmic breathing....filling the lungs completely (360 degrees) and exhaling all the air out slowly. This, not only serves to calm the mind but will enable you to relax into deep, productive stretches.

Second: Take on the all-or-"something" mindset.

All-or-nothing thinking leads us to one place when we're faced with a workout we're just not feeling anymore. That place is nowhere.  I don't know one person who would feel empowered walking out of the gym, having completely abandoned the idea of achieving "something" physical that day. While, yes, another alternative is to sit in the sauna and meditate a bit (great for stress reduction), let's not abandon the workout completely if we don't have to. 
​

Third: Apply the one-move comeback.
​
While any given workout in a training program might call for 4 or 5, all the way up to 12-15, stretches/exercises in each workout, the key to switching from an all-or-nothing to an all-or-something mindset lies in simplicity. Make it easy on yourself to re-engage and get moving. 

Today, I chose a metabolic circuit on my stationary bike in my gym. I rolled the bike out from the wall, hopped on and got to work. For me, I needed the dopamine release of a good sweat so a quick 10 minute HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout on my bike was the perfect solution to ease me out of frustration and back into action. (If you choose this type of workout, crank up your resistance and push as hard and fast as possible for 30-45 seconds, rest nice and easy at no resistance for the same amount of time and continue for 10 minutes). 

An alternative to a machine might be to hit the road for some sprints with walking segments in between or to choose your favorite hybrid move, like a heavy dumbbell-squat press and complete HIIT intervals, working for one minute, resting for minute, for a total of 10 minutes. Simple and effective.

Fourth (and most important): Don't take it personally!

Simply put, we all have good days and bad days and a simple restorative sleep could bridge the gap between the two. There may not be a big, deep seated reason why your workout isn't in the cards for you today. Recognize the power in saving the workout by doing "something" and walk of the gym feeling empowered in your ability to take action, even when you felt anything but powerful in the moment.
​

Pour a glass of wine (go ahead, I'll wait), then listen to me...

...if your health is weighing on your mind as yet another thing that you didn't quite move forward the way you wanted this week, know this: there is literally no where you "should" be right now (or any time for that matter...this is all in your head). ​

Every single mamas journey is different. You don't need your pre-baby body back at by a certain time (or ever) and you only need to do as much as you are comfortable with (always). Ease up, ease way up and breathe. Talk kindly to yourself. There's so much more value in the quiet you can create than the chaos you chase.

Your health journey does not begin or end...it's a living, breathing experiment and you get to determine it's pace, trajectory and how it feels for you. Use your powerful mama's intuition to know that this week - it just wasn't your week - and that, sister, is perfectly ok. 

CP Club is a fit lifestyle club dedicated to helping busy women get strong and become healthy and happy in their bodies - encouraging them to take on full autonomy with their health journey. In CP Club we: unlock individualized fat-loss, get consistent with our fitness and nutrition and make lasting friendships. Registration is open through midnight tonight (Friday, February 10). Learn more about our tribe here.

Are you a basic b*tch? You know, the cold-pressed juice and pumpkin spice latte loving, Mean Girls quoting b*tch? 😉
​

Many inspiring leaders in the health + fitness space today are talking about self-compassion and a pulling back from hardcore methods as a means to break free from that which is keeping us stuck. Because, sometimes to move forward we have step back; invite ease, show ourselves some grace, rest, slow down, re-assess.

As a society, we are over-trained, over-dieted, over-worked, over-committed...over-done.

I admit to living quite a long period of over-doneness in my mid 20's to early 30's. Chasing advancement at work, obsessing over starting a family, training for race after race after race, traveling too much (though it WAS fun!) and dieting too restrictively. I believed that being excessively hard on myself was the only way to move ahead and self-compassion? Well, that was giving up, being too soft.

While I do believe that hustling for our worthiness (i.e. spending hours in the gym to work off last weekend's sins or starving ourselves for a week before a social event to look our best for others) can be a harmful path, I also believe that owning a voice of personal tough love IS necessary to staying in the game towards our goals when inevitably, motivation wanes.

We are bound to meet a day where we just don't want to workout or an evening where a glass of wine and a bath or the couch and some oreos, sounds far more intriguing than the sweat session we've planned. But, deep down, we know that we'll be better for it, emotionally and physically, if we dig in and do the workout anyway.

That's grit, my friend. Taking action.

The biggest struggle I hear from women I coach in my business, Be PowerFULL, is how hard it is to stay motivated to workout. They'll get on a great track, consistent for weeks on end, and then they'll miss one workout, and then another...and then they fall in the inevitable rut. 

Ugh, why is it so g-damn hard to get out of a rut?

Sometimes, a little healthy tough love is exactly what we need to pick ourselves up and get over that awkward hump of inaction.

So, what's the difference between healthy tough love and hustling for our worthiness?

The hustle for worthiness feels like need to perfect, to perform or to prove to someone (mainly ourselves) that we need to do this thing over here, exactly this way, in order to be accepted and enough. Eat perfectly clean, look a certain way, be completely in control of our children, our weight, our partner, our career. The hustle tends to be wrought with perfectionism and fueled by shame.

Healthy tough love, though, is our smart, intuitive voice (our gut) that forces ourselves to take responsibility for our actions and outcomes. The voice that pops up and says "yes" even when the easier thing to do is to say "no" and sit on the sidelines. The voice that says "I can't NOT do this, anymore".

It's the voice that knows that we can handle short term pain, and that the short term pain will save us from longterm heartache.

It's the voice that gets us out of bed after pressing the snooze button twice because we know the workout will do us good.

It's the voice that says "Nah, the brownie isn't necessary tonight because we've got this goal over here we're working towards". 

​A common way tough loves shows up for me is when I'm mid-workout, feeling a bit off and frankly, wanting to put the weights down and walk away. Sometimes, I should walk away. But, many times, I know I'm safe, I have the energy and it's ok to push hard,  it's just my mind is getting in the way.

I think of something that's happening later that day, a big meeting, a program launch, a new client appointment and I say to myself, "If you can't do this right now, Jess, that's not going to go the way you want it to". 

I think of how badly I want that thing to go successfully, whatever it is, and I dig into my reservoir of strength and let my workout represent the attitude I'll want and need for later.

Failing is not an option now if I want to succeed later. 

This has proven to work every single time I've used it. And no, using this tough love tool doesn't mean the workout has to end perfectly, or even that the thing later goes perfectly, but only that I took myself in that moment, from my "no" to a "yes" with the way I framed the temporary discomfort. I did a couple more reps than I thought I could, I pushed through the discomfort and held on a moment longer.

I put the challenge in front of me in the context of how I want to show up for something that matters to me later. So then, it's not as easy as walking away from the workout, it's about setting myself up to win later. I have outcomes attached to whether I decide to take action or shy away and give up.

Tough love doesn't need to be harmful and self-deprecating in order to be useful. ​

Next time you start saying "no" for yourself, can you instead reframe the challenge and think of how saying "yes" in this temporary moment can make you better in the long run? I sure hope so.

I'm about to drop a major truth bomb on you. Ready?

Stop trying to be like everyone else. It's YOU that will make you successful.

As a solo-preneur (in charge of myself and myself only with my business) I can find at times that my biggest opportunity, working for myself, can also be my biggest obstacle. 

See, if I wanted to, I could spend HOURS consuming my peers work. Studying, admiring...and at many times, comparing and feeling less than because of how completely bad-ass a lot of their products and messages are. What at times is exciting, empowering and motivating can turn debilitating, can steal from my peace and wreck havoc on my spark.

"He said that better than I could!"

"How will I ever get to where she is?"

"I don't have his experience!"

"She's fitter than I am!"

"Omg, she's a killer writer!" ... "A better lifter!" ... "A more gifted x, y, z..."

We could do this for days, right? If you think I'm wrong, just notice how you feel next time you're scrolling through your social media feed. We can all get stuck in this comparison trap. And, too often.

In my former career, I was a Sales Manager of a major radio station. I was responsible for hiring new sales talent and then training and developing him/her into a high-performing advertising salesperson.

One piece of advice I always gave my new hires was this: "Find someone successful you respect on our team, in our building, and build a relationship with them". 

Why did I give this advice? Well, despite the obvious - that rolling in a successful crowd helps you to level up (and commiserating with the unsuccessful crowd does quite the opposite) - I hoped my newbie would study and emulate the behaviors of their new mentor, noticing the things they consistently did and said that made them successful. 

BUT.

There's an essential caveat to this advice and for a bit of time during my first year as a solo-preneur, I conveniently forgot it. By all means, study, research and dissect but then....

Go be yourself.

No one makes people feel at ease in conversations like you. Or, laughs at just the right times like you. Or, writes emails like the reader is in a conversation with a best friend they haven't even met yet, like you. No one explains things like you, has the same personal experience as you...has your background, your quirks, your education. No one knows how to make people feel special, included and a part of something big like you. No one has your strength, your resolve, your thick skin. No one has your competitive spirit, your drive, your courage. Use it, use all of it, to do something big, something you can't even picture right now.

I'm in awe with how much my work with Be PowerFULL comes back to this practice of authenticity, both for myself and my clients. How showing up just as we are is the truest way to drive our success long term. How authenticity is the answer to just about every struggle we're encountering and how showing up exactly as we are levels up our relationships, spirituality, business and health.

Spoiler: I don't. 

I'm not a long-distance runner. I think I've always known this but I never really owned it. For much of my athletic life, I've pushed this form of exercise on myself without really stopping to ask, "Do I actually enjoy this?". 

I have always much preferred sprinting short distances to long duration running. As a young athlete, I was pretty darn quick and that explosive power served me well in swimming, soccer, track and lacrosse. In fact, before I knew anything about efficient exercise,  I made up my own intense workouts on the street I grew up on. I'd head outside after dark, often to deal with the typical teen angst on days my parents were "the worst", and I'd sprint from one telephone pole to the next, then walk until the next one, sprint again, and so on for about 20 minutes of heart-and-arm pumping exercise.

Ironically though, for most of my 20's, I felt like I needed to run moderate-long distances to stay in shape and looked like I worked out.

The kicker is, I never did get the tight, toned look I wanted. Sure, there were times where I'd follow a restrictive diet and lose 15-20 lbs and appear slimmer, but I wasn't actually working on building, or maintaining, muscle (one of the most important components to metabolism boosting and physique change). 

As a long-time athlete, running certainly had it's rewards. I enjoyed pushing myself, seeing progress from consistency and competition, but if I'm honest, I spent more of my time dealing with nagging injuries and procrastinating my workouts than actually enjoying the runs.

Longer distance, moderate-intensity running isn't for everyone. It certainly isn't for me.

Yet, time and time again, I have new clients coming through my doors saying that they feel the same way, but they still do it to get their "cardio".

Long duration cardio has long been heralded as the number one method to burn calories and lose weight. But believing that cardio is the only way to burn calories effectively for physique change is the OLD way of thinking.

I'm psyched to be a part of a community of female trainers who are talking about SO MANY different types of training that can improve our metabolism, get the physique results we want, but more importantly, have a hell of a lot of fun doing it.

To be clear, this is not a hate letter to long-distance running. Not in the least. I work with many women every day who absolutely love this to be a part of their fitness, they are runners through and through and I'm so happy to work with them on rounding out their training. 

But if you truly don't have fun when you run (long distance), go ahead and try this highly popular short and sweet track workout (taken from Busy But Burnin', the 6-week fitness & fat loss coaching group!). 

For more short and sweet workouts like this, join my Be PowerFULL community to get my free newsletters in your inbox each week!

Studies show that taking 20-30 minutes to eat your meal may help you eat less. While this may happen some days by chance (because I'm chasing around my boys between bites), eating slowly is not a common occurrence in our world with 2 and 4 year old boys. 

Parents, you know the drill, right?

When you get to a restaurant expecting to have nice, leisurely dinner with your family and from the first moment at the table you sense the unrest. The feet kicking against the base of the table, the clashing of the utensils on the floor, the grasping at anything in arm's reach. It's time's like those where I have to dig into my inner peace, calmly speak to my boy's about their behavior and SCARF DOWN MY MEAL ASAP while my husband pays the bill and brings the car around.

Experts say to put your fork down between bites to help you slow the amount of time it takes to finish your meal.

To engage your friends and family in conversations so as to lengthen the time it takes to finish your meal.

To chew each bite 32 times to effectively break down food and aid digestion.

Research shows that we end up consuming 10 percent fewer calories when we eat at a slow pace, chew each bite of food for longer and practice more mindful eating by lingering over our meals. 

{Record scratch}. Riiiiiiiiight.

I a'int got time for that.

Let me tell you, I struggle just to keep my meals myself. To not have to share every other bite of my Sunday breakfast, my dinner that I've sat down to eat after everything in the house is finally done, or a sip of my G-D-WATER!

What's mine is my kids, and though, yes, I work to create boundaries (i.e. "Mom's Water Bottle"), when we're on a hike or at the beach and their water is gone and they are "so thirsty they may die", I share my water and then again the boundaries are blurred, the kids forget and it's like open season to chug my drinks again. There are some days, even, where I make my rounds to straighten up the house once everyone is in bed and I find 3, maybe 4, water bottles (all FULL) distributed around the house above kid-climbing level. I hide them even from myself.

What I'm saying is, not every rule is going to work for your lifestyle. And, I don't believe you should kill yourself trying to fit your crazy, ruckus life into a tidy little box of someone else's rules.

Making a nutritious breakfast from scratch with whole foods every morning may sound wonderful in theory but if you're lucky enough to walk out the door with your wallet and your keys and the papers you needed for that important meeting at work, that's probably not going to work for you. Maybe you need a hack, a work-around that works for you, like grabbing a Quest bar on the go with a piece of fruit and a large water bottle (no kid's hands allowed).

Maybe working out in the morning sounds like a great idea - and yes, working out on an empty stomach first thing in the am could be wonderful for fat loss - but you mentally berate yourself every time you inevitably miss your wake-up call. Perhaps setting a more realistic date with the gym during your lunch break at work is more ideal for you and because it's doable, you'll be consistent with this, even if it's not perfect.

By all means, listen to the studies, read the advice, educate yourself. But, above all else, know thyself. Be fair with your expectations for your health journey.

​Someday, I may chew each bite 32 times. But, my kids will be in college and I'll be missing them like crazy. So, for now, I'll toe the line between forgetting entirely about my meal and getting it in my belly as fast as I can so I can enjoy every single bite without sharing.

For more of my musings on nutrition, fitness and self-care as Moms, sign up for my email newsletter here:

As a fat-loss and healthy lifestyle coach, I often get a flurry of messages before a holiday weekend about how to stay on track over a long weekend full of activities and celebrations centered around food. The fourth of July is one such holiday, with no shortage of alcoholic beverages, chips and dips, indulgent potato salads, fancy patriotic desserts, s'mores and lots and lots of sitting around.

While there are healthier options for some of the fan favorites, when we just talk about those substitutions we overlook the bigger picture: 

Enjoying time with friends and family does not need to be all about food.

Here are some ways to enjoy a vacation without a focus on food:

• Take a long walk on the beach with a friend you haven't seen in a while
• Head paddle boarding with a sibling
• Enjoy sand castle building with your kids
• Catch up with family over a campfire
• Take in fireworks displays
• Make up an independence day workout with friends
• Grab a quiet early morning cup of coffee and stroll with a parent you haven't seen in a while
• Take some space for solo time through meditation/yoga can to revisit your intentions rather than giving yourself over to the weekend with no regard for self

Perhaps, disengaging from our day-to-day life for a few days of relaxation can become about trying new things and expanding our minds/interests rather than just our bellies.
​

I did some research recently and found some pretty epic diet trends from the past, some I've never heard of. 

The Twinkie Diet,  The Sleeping Beauty Diet, The Cigarette Diet (I mean, who comes up with this stuff?), The Baby Food Diet...the list goes on and on. I'm actually pretty surprised I never got my hands on one of these at some point. 

I think we can all agree that smoking cigarettes in order to suppress our appetite and lose weight is probably not the healthiest, most sustainable form of weight loss. In fact, it's doing way more harm than good. 

These are pretty outlandish examples but the point is the same.

We are wired to believe that if a weight loss method is hard-core, it must be effective.  

The bigger the risk the bigger the reward, right? I think that's lazy thinking.

When we think rebelliously like that, we're overlooking one of the simplest and most common-sense barriers to lasting change...if it's torture to execute, it's going to be torture to maintain. Whatever results we get will most likely come back over time, if not immediately.

I overheard some ladies talking over coffee recently and the conversation blew my mind. One of them was about to go on a cleanse in which she could only drink juice for 10 days. She was doing this to get back on track and lose 15-20 pounds, she said.

Her friend was supportive at first, but then asked a great question. She said "Well I don't know, Bridget...but if the weight comes off that quickly, won't it come back on just as fast?".

Amen, sister.

But, Bridget answered with a glimmer of hope in her eye, "Well, I just figure, if I'm finally down that weight I've been trying to lose for FOREVER, I'll feel so much better about myself and I won't make stupid decisions to gain it back!".

This is the thinking of a weight-loser (I say that in the nicest way possible, just a silly play on words!), so focused on the green grass on the other side, she's not thinking through the fact that she's actually not thinking for herself one bit on this juice cleanse. She's putting a bandaid on her weight loss goal, the same bandaid she'll need to use over and over again when the weight comes back on. Only, over time, the adhesive gets worn and worn on that bandaid until she'll find the next big thing that will be the magic pill because she couldn't keep repeating the juice cleanse unsuccessfully over time.

Have you ever thought this way?

Believe me, I lived the life of a weight-loser for a really long time. I gained and lost the same 20-25 lbs over and over and over again...to the point where I had everything from a size 2 to a size 10 in my closet...just in case. I jumped from plan to plan to plan to plan, doing what most people do, searching for "the magic pill" diet that was going to stick for me. One that just made total sense and I could maintain forever.

I don't know about you but I can't live on only grapefruit and PB the rest of my life. LOL.

There's two levels of "weight-losers", IMO.

There's the 1.0 version: those of us who follow grapefruit and PB diets, crossing our fingers in the hopes that this combination of foods really does stir up a perfect chemical reaction that makes weight just melt off, like the inventors would make us believe.

And, there's the 2.0 version: those who follow more well-researched diets like The South Beach, Atkins, Hornish, etc. to the letter, complying with every single rule, eliminating "not approved foods", eating "approved ones" and moving their bodies in productive ways along with eating right to get great results.

I like 2.0. And I got lots of great results on 2.0. But, even these great results didn't last because I still was not thinking for myself following all those rules.

It wasn't until I moved from a weight-loser to a "fat-burner" that I got the best benefit of them all...I began to think for myself.

(Click here to begin thinking for yourself in my upcoming Busy But Burnin' online fitness and fat loss coaching group which is now open for enrollment).

Just over a year ago, I said good-bye to my husband and two little guys (3 and almost 1 at the time) and hopped on a plane to Santa Monica, California to go to, what was for me (and many others), a completely life changing event.  I was headed to The Radiance Retreat, which is an annual event hosted by lifestyle and fitness experts Neghar Fonooni of Eat, Lift and Be Happy, Jen Sinkler of Thrive , and Jill Coleman of JillFit Physiques.
 
The universe was plotting a bit of an intervention for me, you see. I had recently been let go from my role as General Sales Manager for a top radio station in Boston, a career I had cultivated for 10+ years. I was considering many options to jump back into Corporate America but I was feeling a pull to begin anew and follow a dream I’ve had for years. In fact, months before my career change, I had pressed "buy" to attend this retreat. As a lifelong fitness lover and health enthusiast, I wanted to begin a business to help time starved women create the healthy change they are seeking in their lives and this weekend was a chance to explore the viability of this venture. 
 
After Day 1, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that this was my time to forge this new career path. This weekend away, the friendships created, the inspiration gleaned, the exceptional business and training content covered…I left more inspired than I had been in years. As I sat on the plane on my way back to Boston reflecting on my weekend and my vision, Be PowerFULL was born. Just one short month later, I launched www.jessicaoar.com. It's been an amazing first year of dedication, growth, challenge and opportunity and I feel so grateful that I said ‘yes’ and jumped.
 
But, there was another completely unexpected turn of events during my weekend in Venice Beach. My personal fitness path was forever changed when I walked through the doors of Paradiso CrossFit where Jen Sinkler and Jennifer Vogelgesang Blake (JVB) were about to engage us in a conversation about Deadlifts and Biofeedback, an intuitive training model.
 
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t walk into that gym with a little bit of a competitive spirit that day. As a lifelong athlete, I felt confident trying new fitness training methods throughout the years; recreational teams, boxing, various bootcamp classes, flag football. I figured I’d pick it up rather quickly. I didn’t expect to be pretty much one of the greenest of green lifters of the group. In fact, let's be real, I wasn’t a lifter. I had barely touched a barbell before in my life. I was a runner, sprinter, triathlete, a queen of metabolic conditioning with moderate weights.
 
Here’s the thing about deadlifting: this is not a grip and rip kind of move where you jump in and see how it goes. I was immediately humbled, both because of the serious implications if I didn’t listen to my body and practice solid form, but also because lifting dead weight off the ground is god-damn HARD. But, oh so rewarding. Here’s a video of Newbie Jess doing my first deadlifts ever. I’ll tell you this, I felt my glutes and back the next day….like, whoa! (PS - how serious do I look?)

4 Lessons of Powerlifting - Year 1
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#1 Embrace Sisterhood
One of the first things I discovered in that gym that day was an overwhelming spirit of sisterhood. As a competitive athlete and salesperson, I was no stranger to approaching each situation positioning to be the best. But, I was surprised to find that there was not one woman in that gym that was trying to beat each other out. On the contrary, it was an environment of comradery and togetherness in strength. In fact, when I spoke up about my inexperience, many experienced lifters swarmed to help me learn the intricacies of the sport they love. One of the first to meet me at the barbell was JVB of Strong Is Fun. JVB, if you don’t know her, is a super talented and badass powerlifting coach at The Movement Minneapolis and creator of Unapologetically Powerful, an online powerlifting program. 

#2 Train with Intention + Patience
When I got home from California, I got to work. That experience, seeing the power and confidence radiating from these women who had been training for years and years with heavy weight, it lit a fire within me. It was a different kind of fire than I had experienced before. I didn't want to train to beat anyone else, I wanted to get better for myself and step into my power to learn something new with discipline and self-compassion, similar to the journey that each of my clients go on as they begin anew. It's a journey that's entirely personal and about being more, and doing more, progressively, and believing that you are capable. This new fitness challenge was exactly what I was looking for.

My heavy lifting journey wasn't entirely smooth initially. I was learning from form videos on YouTube videos I had googled, there were times that I attempted way too much weight when my ego took over, moments where I wasn't lifting safely with the equipment, and where didn't have a clear understanding for how to progress my lifts and support my training in the three big lifts with other training. I knew I needed to enlist the help of a coach if I wanted to take my progress, and safety, seriously. 

#3 Ask For Help
I then had the pleasure of working with Jen Sinkler and JVB in an beta coaching group for Unapologetically Strong. It was here where I really started to see my training soar and progress. I got access to these two super talented coaches who are the best at what they do and deliver feedback that just makes sense; every cue tip I received from them was on point and easy to understand. When I approach the bar, I think about Jen's cue of "squeezing oranges under my armpits" to really pack my shoulders and engage my lats in my deadlift. When I approach my squat, I stagger my feet, something JVB helped me to tweak so I can get lower in the movement. I also learned to use new equipment and became comfortable with the accessory moves that upped the ante on my lifts.

As Cardigan Mark at The Movement Minneapolis is quoted saying "If you want to be OK at something, do it yourself. If you want to be the best at something, hire a coach", and in my next phase, I did just that. 

When JVB announced Unapologetically Powerful, her guide to strengthening your squat, bench and deadlift, I was in immediately. I outfitted my garage gym with a power rack, barbell, bench and plates and worked through her 12 week powerlifting program. Not only was it thorough, easy to understand and implement, but I PR'd like crazy using her guide. I'm also fully equipped with all the information I need to enter and train for my first powerlifting meet...which is absolutely my next step.

#4 Be Big
Perhaps, one of the most impactful lessons I've learned in my first year of powerlifting is that this sport is not about shrinking, in fact, it celebrates bigness in every sense of the word. It celebrates building muscle, but not for our appearance - although that's fun too - but for what it represents. Discipline, consistency, power, physical and mental strength, a strength that extends beyond the gym and into every aspect of our lives. As many fitness professionals are still talking about losing weight and getting smaller, powerlifting celebrates strength in all shapes and sizes. 

I was beyond excited to see JVB announce her Unapologetically Powerful Virtual Powerlifting Meet (happening this week!). If you want a dose of inspiration and to see what this sport is all about, head on over to #upowerful and check out all the incredible women squatting, benching and deadlifting like crazy. I'm having so much fun participating and cheering everyone on! You get 3 attempts on each lift and it's all happening this week. I completed my submissions today, check out the video below to see my PR's in all 3 lifts!

Want to get started? 
If you want to get stronger than you ever thought possible, look no further than this program, Unapologetically Powerful. I heard that JVB is offering it half off through Friday, April 22nd as part of the virtual meet this week. This program is cowritten with Jen Sinkler, with valuable input from Movement Minneapolis founder David Dellanave.

Here's what's in the program:

• A comprehensive training manual that includes Beginner and Early Intermediate 12-week powerlifting programs, with a detailed introduction to biofeedback training.
• An extensive guide on how to compete for first-time powerlifters who want to step onto the platform.
• A complete exercise glossary with clear-cut written coaching cues and images.
• A massive video library of more than 140 exercise demonstration videos. Every movement in the program is in the video library, with detailed coaching cues to walk you through each exercise step by step.
• A 4-week pre-powerlifting program add-on written by David to prepare your body to safely train for the back squat, bench press, and deadlift.

Click here to learn more on her HALF PRICE offer!